Somali woman gets aids from her husband

[niggaibnh]

Why are some Somalis marrying them? These are the same Christians who had temporary marriages and more than one wife (concubines) even though it's not allowed in Christianity. Even Somali men don't usually marry more than one wife.

I think it’s allowed In Christianity since it was practiced before but it isn’t now

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

Polygamy is not for most men, only for those with intellect, compassion and bravery. Not for weak, reckless, liars.

I would concur there are many of these toerags about.

Most women do not want it because a lot of polygamist men do secret "marriages" and bring nothing but drama, financial instability etc.

Thank you for the clarity.
So, it is the practitioners. in this case men, who are at fault, and not the principle in, and of itself; on that spirit, we could then draw that distinction, lest appearing, as inadvertently happens, as if going against the principle.

In my mind's eye, I have got a couple of questions to follow up, but have not been able to articulate yet. Shall return later, if clarity is inspired.

 

[Angelina]

Bless her, poor lass; she sounds awfully brave in her disposition considering her current predicament. Must say, the other women in the equation is rather conniving, if dangerously wicked. Would anyone consider the husband a victim caught in crosshairs?




I am thinking aloud, so temper with me, as I toddle through thought.

Is polygamy to blame? Why rally against it, when it is permissible in Islam, of course with requisite conditions being put in place? discounting, I am not of the fact many men abuse it, but is that a good enough reason, or excuse, to strike off verses of the Qur'an? And for what in return?

When does one begin to fancy oneself as knowing more than the Omniscient. Suggesting so is the case herein, I am not, for I know little, but a troubling trend is being observed in the congregation, and amongst Muslims, mostly in the West, where like our contemporaries in Christianity, a practice of picking and choosing Islamic principles and teachings, as if what might be deemed the norm, or popular, in the West, is being embraced irrespective of core principles at stake, or being breached; similar trend is being observed amongst Muslims in Gulf States.

Of course, it is not new, for once one begins to think of oneself as more knowing, then one, as others before battled reconciling own thought with scripture, one must give.

B. Spinoza battled to reconcile Judaism with his epistemological thesis, and abandoned the former instead of crisscrossing the latter's thorny terrain. E. Kant had misgivings about Christianity, and pursued a life of atheism. M. Assad struggled with Judaism, and wholly embraced Islam.

Or is the fissure so full that schism reins?
Just a thought.

a polygamy clause is halal in Islam btw. Also, nothing wrong with polygamy, but the way Somalis practice it, is indeed concerning. The almight already warns us about how polygamy can go wrong in the Quran, hence Allah the all knowing acknowledges this, but man cares more about their greedy appetite. Therefore, whilst polygamy itself isn’t to blame, not practicing it using the guidelines that Islam has set is. Btw, in nearly all madhabs funnily enough classical scholars are of the opinion that having one wife is better. That opinion has now been sidelined. Remember, polygamy isn’t a must in the deen, it is merely a priviliage given to men who can not only afford it but have the qualities to do it fairly, yet our community want to treat it like a 6th pillar.

I hope this answers your questions.

 

[Angelina]

There is what is called "qutba siro". Not sure if you heard it before but it is available to us (men).

Qutbo siro is haram. It’s basically a woman marrying without a Wali. Such a marriage is invalid, but jahil fobs think it’s acceptable. It isn’t available to you.

If you want to be polygamous, which is fine be honest, transparent and actually test your partner to be. I’m actually talking about steps that will lower diseases. It’s selfish to not think about your current wife and unborn baby all for the sake of your appetite. Marriage is truly a joke for some gelgires and Xalimos and now we have all sorts of diseases spreading.

 

[Waa dhamatay]

I do not want to insult him. Asking a young new husband to take sexual disease test is a bit invasive. Its like a husband asks a wife to sign a pre-nup where she is not entitled for any money after divorce. Its not trustful and healthy.

Of course- we will discuss it. In my courting period we will be honest. I will say have you had sexual experiences? If he says yes- then i will recommend softly to take a test. If he declines then i will warn him. I will murder him in his sleep if he gives me any std ! The method of revenge will vary to the type of Std

If he gives me Chlamydia which is curable- i will chop his fingers


if it is Herpies which is not curable- i will stick a knife in one of his eye.

If it is HIV which not curable and my worst nightmare; i will cut his throat with a butcher knife while he is sleeping. or maybe one bullet on the forehead while he is sleeping (I prefer the cutting of throat with butcher harmer or knife for personal feel effect. I will cherish every bit of the blood mess)


it depends-- i am very just

Same.

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

let’s be honest, the community and group that’s bring HIV is Ethiopians. Every instance I’ve seen with HIV spread is through Ethio women, their HIV rate is off the charts and they’re the reason why HIV is in Somalia. Not to mention Somaliland has double Somalias HIV because they import more habash.

This is troublesome, if true, and I have no reason to doubt it; other than the anecdotal info, do we have actual data?

a polygamy clause is halal in Islam btw. Also, nothing wrong with polygamy, but the way Somalis practice it, is indeed concerning. The almight already warns us about how polygamy can go wrong in the Quran, hence Allah the all knowing acknowledges this, but man cares more about their greedy appetite. Therefore, whilst polygamy itself isn’t to blame, not practicing it using the guidelines that Islam has set is. Btw, in nearly all madhabs funnily enough classical scholars are of the opinion that having one wife is better. That opinion has now been sidelined. Remember, polygamy isn’t a must in the deen, it is merely a priviliage given to men who can not only afford it but have the qualities to do it fairly, yet our community want to treat it like a 6th pillar.

I hope this answers your questions.

Thank you for the reflections. In which case, polygamy clause must be greatly discussed in 'fiqi'. If so, is there reference material to consult? I must admit I know nigh to nought about it, for it has never been a subject of interest.

 

[Angelina]

This is troublesome, if true, and I have no reason to doubt it; other than the anecdotal info, do we have actual data?


Thank you for the reflections. In which case, polygamy clause must be greatly discussed in 'fiqi'. If so, is there reference material to consult? I must admit I know nigh to nought about it, for it has never been a subject of interest.

https://islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/143120

Have a read.

 

[JackieBurkhart]

I think it’s allowed In Christianity since it was practiced before but it isn’t now

It never was. Polygamy has never been allowed, this was cultural.

 

[Hassan Garguute Buldanana]

Subxanallah, may Allah SWT make this easy for her. She can reduce risk of transmission to her unborn baby with medication. The desire of one man risked the lives of two.

 

[Yaraye]

Qutbo siro is haram. It’s basically a woman marrying without a Wali. Such a marriage is invalid, but jahil fobs think it’s acceptable. It isn’t available to you.

If you want to be polygamous, which is fine be honest, transparent and actually test your partner to be. I’m actually talking about steps that will lower diseases. It’s selfish to not think about your current wife and unborn baby all for the sake of your appetite. Marriage is truly a joke for some gelgires and Xalimos and now we have all sorts of diseases spreading.

what's qutbo siro abaayo?

 

[Prince of HS]

what's qutbo siro abaayo?

When you ‘marry’ a girl for a short period of time to do the deed and then divorce her after. No one knows about it and you get some fugazi sheihk to do the ‘nikkah’. Her father nor any other male relative is present or aware. Its popular amongst some youth in Somalia

 

[Yaraye]

When you ‘marry’ a girl for a short period of time to do the deed and then divorce her after. No one knows about it and you get some fugazi sheihk to do the ‘nikkah’. Her father nor any other male relative is present or aware. Its popular amongst some youth in Somalia

a muslim version of pump & dump

 

[Yaraye]

When you ‘marry’ a girl for a short period of time to do the deed and then divorce her after. No one knows about it and you get some fugazi sheihk to do the ‘nikkah’. Her father nor any other male relative is present or aware. Its popular amongst some youth in Somalia

Does the woman know/informed that its a temporary marriage?

 

[Hamzza]

Does the woman know/informed that its a temporary marriage?

It's not temporary marriage, the brother got it wrong. Qutbo Siro or Masaafo is basically a marriage without Wali.

 

[Angelina]

what's qutbo siro abaayo?

Running away together without a Wali. It isn’t a temp marriage. Most have the intentions of being married for life. I know people that did Qutbo siro and are still married 30 yrs later with grandchildren. They did obviously renew their marriage once they become practicing ect and spoke to a Sheikh.

 

[Prince of HS]

It's not temporary marriage, the brother got it wrong. Qutbo Siro or Masaafo is basically a marriage without Wali.

mad. most of the guys I know that did it weren’t married for more than a week so I reckoned it was always meant to be temporary

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

https://islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/143120

Have a read.

Thank you.
I had a brief conversation with ustaad Mohamed, an Al Azhari 3alim (he would not want me calling him that), and here is where we left it off.

On the polygamy clause aspect, if a wife is making the marriage contingent upon the polygamy clause, and not simply asking for provisions being made for her and hers in the wake of the husband taking in another wife, and for valid reasons alone (no dillydallying mut3ah), is she not in danger of making a halal principle haram? In other words, if she is saying, I shall only be your wife, unless you promise me you will not take in a second wife, is the marriage even halal? Is a core principle not being breached?

In the Q&A article, the respondent argues the opposite in that it is restricting rather than forbidding, which in itself raises further moral questions. I suppose if the Sahaabah & Taabi3iyin did not see an issue, then too could we.

This is the Maliki madhab doctrine, I wonder what Shafi3i thinks of it.

Thanks again.

 

[Angelina]

Thank you.
I had a brief conversation with ustaad Mohamed, an Al Azhari 3alim (he would not want me calling him that), and here is where we left it off.

On the polygamy clause aspect, if a wife is making the marriage contingent upon the polygamy clause, and not simply asking for provisions being made for her and hers in the wake of the husband taking in another wife, and for valid reasons alone (no dillydallying mut3ah), is she not in danger of making a halal principle haram? In other words, if she is saying, I shall only be your wife, unless you promise me you will not take in a second wife, is the marriage even halal? Is a core principle not being breached?

How is polygamy a core principle? Since when was polygamy compulsary or a core part of our religion? I’m rather confused. It is merely an option.

In the Q&A article, the respondent argues the opposite in that it is restricting rather than forbidding, which in itself raises further moral questions. I suppose if the Sahaabah & Taabi3iyin did not see an issue, then too could we.

This is the Maliki madhab doctrine, I wonder what Shafi3i thinks of it.

Thanks again.

Shafis say it is not allowed. The Hanafis are okay with it and so are the Hanbalis.

Also, it seems the Malikis are okay with it as the Sahabas and Taabieen were okay with it, but the polygamy clause you’re missing out allows the woman instant divorce rather than actually making it forbidden for the husband to marry again. Hence the idea of making the halal haram
Is a false one. It isn’t logical.

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

How is polygamy a core principle? Since when was polygamy compulsary or a core part of our religion? I’m rather confused. It is merely an option.

By core principle, I mean a basic idea, or a rule permitted in Islam with guidelines provided, say like interest, but definitely not on the same scale as the '5 arkaan' etc.

 

[Man with a garuun]

Qutbo siro is haram. It’s basically a woman marrying without a Wali. Such a marriage is invalid, but jahil fobs think it’s acceptable. It isn’t available to you.

If you want to be polygamous, which is fine be honest, transparent and actually test your partner to be. I’m actually talking about steps that will lower diseases. It’s selfish to not think about your current wife and unborn baby all for the sake of your appetite. Marriage is truly a joke for some gelgires and Xalimos and now we have all sorts of diseases spreading.

That is not what qutbi siro is. It is a man marrying a woman with the blessing of her mahram, but never informs his other wife that he has another wife. That is what qutbo siro is.

Geeljire and xalimos back home are clean. It is the mostly Somalis who live outside the country who brought the disease back to Somalia. I agree every new weds should first get tested, but blaming the people back home is wrong. It is the people with loose lifestyles, who live outside the country, who brought the disease back to the country.