Somali single motherhood becoming a growing problem today

[Bohol]

Marriage is a joke to Somalis nowadays that is why.

 

[Molotoff]

The solution is to remove welfare benefits. Nowadays, a woman is not dependent on the man for financial security because daddy State is there.

So then there is no incentive for the woman to stay with her man when she knows daddy state will take care of her at the end of the day anyways.

 

[VixR]

I think one of the biggest lies Somalis on here tell themselves is that the West taught Somalis divorce. That doesn’t explain why Somalis in Somalia, Arab countries, Kenya, etc, have high divorce rates.

Furthermore, if it were a matter of the West having introduced it, the high divorce rates would’ve been stalled a generation for the sons and daughters of the parental generation who’s “traditional” ways would’ve served as a buffer, or would’ve at least slowed it’s prevalence. That is far from the truth.

I’m convinced that in a large percentage of Somali society/marriages, the dynamic has always been that the women provided for themselves and their children, and the men lead more leisurely lives, including in Somalia.

I don’t think it’s a Western phenomenon. At worst, the West has magnified that reality.

If many of mothers of the parental generation are govt dependent, their daughters are degree-seekers. For both generations of women, the relative quality of their male counterparts looks abysmal on average.

 

[VixR]

in Africa the somali mother always hustles. the father was there but useless. but it was more of a collaboration. If he gets money he supports if not, he just lounges around while she hustles and be a mother at the same time.

The western phenomenon, only is the same but magnified in individual characteristic. That means - the somali mother hustles with great resources, ie welfares & minivans- and the farah husband character is magnified in his selfish, not ambitious pursuits of western leisure of uselessness


Basically its the same but in a different environment magnified- away from the dusty lands of sh!tholes

Lmfao!

We basically came to the same conclusion. Since you’re the parental generation, it makes me feel more confident about my view/observation.

 

[Jaydaan]

I think one of the biggest lies Somalis on here tell themselves is that the West taught Somalis divorce. That doesn’t explain why Somalis in Somalia, Arab countries, Kenya, etc, have high divorce rates.

Furthermore, if it were a matter of the West having introduced it, the high divorce rates would’ve been stalled a generation for the sons and daughters of the parental generation who’s “traditional” ways would’ve served as a buffer, or would’ve at least slowed it’s prevalence. That is far from the truth.

I’m convinced that in a large percentage of Somali society/marriages, the dynamic has always been that the women provided for themselves and their children, and the men lead more leisurely lives, including in Somalia.

I don’t think it’s a Western phenomenon. At worst, the West has magnified that reality.

If many of mothers of the parental generation are govt dependent, their daughters are degree-seekers. For both generations of women, the relative quality of their male counterparts looks abysmal on average.

So if the shift in the culture of the west last years have nothing to do with it. Why has westernes divorce rate sky rocketed the more liberal they have become? Liberals tend to preach more selfish point of view, you unhappy....leave. Always think of yourself first and it has created bunch of women who cant sustain relationships or raise a family. Liberals goal has always been to destroy the chore family and take out god and traditions out of society. This is the result. Bunch of single mothers and bunch of girls who are selling themselves on social media. But always remember.....in a chaotic society women will suffer more than men cause men are simply bigger and stronger

 

[VixR]

So if the shift in the culture of the west last years have nothing to do with it. Why has westernes divorce rate sky rocketed the more liberal they have become? Liberals tend to preach more selfish point of view, you unhappy....leave. Always think of yourself first and it has created bunch of women who cant sustain relationships or raise a family. Liberals goal has always been to destroy the chore family and take out god and traditions out of society. This is the result. Bunch of single mothers and bunch of girls who are selling themselves on social media. But always remember.....in a chaotic society women will suffer more than men cause men are simply bigger and stronger

Be honest with yourself. Somalis are far from liberal and their divorce rates are high.

Ask your mom if divorce is high in Somalia.

 

[Jaydaan]

Be honest with yourself. Somalis are far from liberal and their divorce rates are high.

Ask your mom if divorce is high in Somalia.

It is....but thats because people over there dont work. Imagine being married constanstly have your spouse. The fact that we work and is away from each other in the west is an advantage. But you agree with rest of my post right

 

[saredochani10]

The solution is to remove welfare benefits. Nowadays, a woman is not dependent on the man for financial security because daddy State is there.

So then there is no incentive for the woman to stay with her man when she knows daddy state will take care of her at the end of the day anyways.

I can't believe this lol. Is mariage all about money? " there is no incentive for the woman to stay with her man ".

 

[VixR]

It is....but thats because people over there dont work. Imagine being married constanstly have your spouse. The fact that we work and is away from each other in the west is an advantage. But you agree with rest of my post right

I don’t.

Pre-civil war, it was high too. How can you honestly blame liberals for it? You’re peddling nonsense.

If you’re speaking in terms of Westerners, that’s another case. But I don’t think they’re comparable at all.

Even if they’re more likely to divorce nowadays than they were in the past, it’s like they shed all the negatives of staying in unfulfilling and/or abusive marriages without gaining the same weight in negatives on the other end. They typically have a model where the offspring get the benefit of both parents being invested in their upbringing, which is not the case with Somalis.

There’s too much mediocrity with Somalis. If you’re anyone who has standards, you’d have to lower them beyond belief in the Somali community, but for a few.

 

[Molotoff]

I can't believe this lol. Is mariage all about money? " there is no incentive for the woman to stay with her man ".

If it was for love, you'd marry a farax no matter his financial and social status, that is, you would go for faraxs with minimum/average wages.

 

[Jaydaan]

I don’t.

Pre-civil war, it was high too. How can you honestly blame liberals for it? You’re peddling nonsense.

If you’re speaking in terms of Westerners, that’s another case. But I don’t think they’re comparable at all.

Even if they’re more likely to divorce nowadays than they were in the past, it’s like they shed all the negatives of staying in unfulfilling and/or abusive marriages without gaining the same weight in negatives on the other end. They typically have a model where the offspring get the benefit of both parents being invested in their upbringing, which is not the case with Somalis.

There’s too much mediocrity with Somalis. If you’re anyone who has standards, you’d have to lower them beyond belief in the Somali community, but for a few.

That last bit is not based on reality. I feel people who feel they wont end up with their own play this game in their mind where they constantly only focus on the negative of their people in order to justify for themselves why they go outside. Most somalis are good decent people. But you are really not qualified to even judge somalis as you dont live amongst them or socialize with any

 

[saredochani10]

If it was for love, you'd marry a farax no matter his financial and social status, that is, you would go for faraxs with minimum/average wages.

And ? I'd rather marry a man who hasn't much but I love him and care about him. My mum married my dad when he was poor. It took them a while before they built their fortune together.
Anyways. Money is not a good reason for me. Staying for money is like being a prisoner.

 

[diaby]

@Inquisitive_ how many divorced friends do you have to be able to provide such detail

 

[Halimo-2018]

Because a lot of people are pressure to be married by certain age only to find out marriage isn't fairytale.

 

[Finesse]

I talked with my sister about it. She said it is an increasing problem. She also said that men need to stop being selfish and take responsibility.

This.

Times have changed.

Unless a man can afford for his wife to be a house wife, he needs to learn what 50% of household chores are and do them.

No woman is putting up with doing most of the chores AND having to work.

That is how women get burnt out.

Intimacy disappears as the woman is tired and pissed off and then, boom, divorce.

 

[Somalinimo]

Was single motherhood a problem before in are community? I don't know if there has been a big increase of them recently or I'm getting exposed to it more.

Most of them a struggling, do they even get child support?

The most common reason for divorce in Western somali diaspora is financial issues. They marry guys with no lacag, breed 10 kids, then divorce the husband who was never providing from the get go to become married to a welfare state as a single mother.

Low IQ people making low IQ choices in life and then producing a shit tonne of low IQ children who will repeat the cycle.

 

[Inquisitive_]

@Inquisitive_ how many divorced friends do you have to be able to provide such detail

They are all around you if you cared to open your eyes and ears.

 

[Halimo-2018]

Divorce isn't the end of the world sometimes is for the better. There are some misetable married folks.

 

[Hybrid()]

Always blaming western xalimos. Somali men don’t even bother getting in touch with their children after separating. That alone tells you what type of person they really are. Honestly somali women often have good reason to kick their husbands out.

 

[IstarZ]

Even as married women, Somali women are practically single mothers.

I admire their resilience but they get the short end of the stick whether it is here or back home.