I didn’t have any issues with what you wrote per say but just wanted you to understand that you’re coming from a Gulf context and not many kids which changes the ball game. One of the things I love about the GUlf and Somalia is the support system and how it allows women to pursue different careers. Very rarely in the West do you see women with 6 kids in high positions because with that many kids and no nanny or sisters, mum and cousins next door will not you able to do that, you’d be stuck in doors with the babies. I’ve seen women who are mothers of 6, 7 working in top positions in the Gulf as they had drivers, nannies and maids. I even knew one doing her PHD! However at times it can come at a cost and sometimes I’ve seen kids overly rely on the nanny which is heartbreaking. It’s a catch 20/20.
Somali men have been babied by their mothers
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I'm not saying any of that. I just said there will be very few men who will take up that arrangement because it's not sincere. That's all I said.
I don't think it's right that you're lumping me in with red pill when I'm actually at the middle position.
Waa barakaysanahay, alx. But yeah, I generally think if you're in the west and already admit you can't pay for the whole household yourself then accept divvying up the house and kid work. I get genuinely confused when I see saaxiibs say they want her to contribute financially, work full or part-time AND do all the housework and child-rearing. Nigga, you crazy?!
I'd smack a nigga silly if he tried to gumeysi one of mine like that.
I don’t agree. I think the average Muslim Somali man brought up in a conservative household would love to provide. The issue comes from if he actually can or not. As for women, some people have issues with the husband being a leader but they need to understand that if he’s a good man, emasculating him will ruin their marriage.
Ah okay, it’s fine.
The issue is that’s what’s happening according to studies when it comes to these gaals and i was watching this well known divorce lawyer on TikTok talking about how women snap and then file with him because of that.Waa barakaysanahay, alx. But yeah, I generally think if you're in the west and already admit you can't pay for the whole household yourself then accept divvying up the house and kid work. I get genuinely confused when I see saaxiibs say they want her to contribute financially, work full or part-time AND do all the housework and child-rearing. Nigga, you crazy?!
I'd smack a nigga silly if he tried to gumeysi one of mine like that.
Are we going to lie and say it isn’t tiring after a long day of work? Especially when you’re already mentally tired? The thing is with mothers it’s not ending when you have kids who constantly make a mess. Come on after work people want to rest. Especially if you had to get the kids ready early in the morning and couldn’t even just wake up shower and have a quite coffee by yourself before heading to your actual work.
People that aren’t parents take it for granted the simple act of waking up in peace and having to only think about getting yourself ready.
I've heard about this. Is it true? Cadaans demanding the wife work AND do all the housework?! I thought these niggas were ilbax or somethin?
They don’t help out as much as they should and a lot of it is lip service. They definitely help more than their fathers generation. The issue is that in most cultures housework is seen as women’s work despite working outside the home now being seen as something both men and women do. Also, since infants need their mothers more than their fathers, this creates even more work for a woman in a 50/50 relationships. Such a thing simply doesn’t exist. How can it be 50/50 when it’s one parent that carrying a whole human and then has to feed that mini human from their body??
Feminine saaxiibs. Only a feminine saaxiib thinks of such things being "feminine" and lets himself be impaired by that. A real nigga just gets shit done and is practical. Recommendation? Hilib iyo ukun. Should sort those b*tch-t*ts out.
This is so false single mothers are not even that widespread in the somali community
Why do people act like its something difficult? If you live on your own you do it everyday. It takes me like 1-2 hours to cook and a quick 15-30 min cleaning everyday and then another 1-2 hour deep cleaning on the weekends. Women will tell you this is equivalent to a full time job
Anyone can marry at anytime because of Qadr, but if a man is not married by a specific age ordained by Angelina. He has low T levels, is a corn addict or a zaani.
I must admit Angie’s wisdom is beyond my simple understanding.
*Any womenAnyone can marry at anytime because of Qadr, but if a man is not married by a specific age ordained by Angelina. He has low T levels, is a corn addict or a zaani.
I must admit Angie’s wisdom is beyond my simple understanding.
I think you must be not the smartest tool box. I’m talking about a man that doesn’t want to marry. That’s obviously different.Anyone can marry at anytime because of Qadr, but if a man is not married by a specific age ordained by Angelina. He has low T levels, is a corn addict or a zaani.
I must admit Angie’s wisdom is beyond my simple understanding.
The fact that you’re talking about an adult someone living on there own and not a family with young kids and a house with many bedroom shows that you’re out of it. No one is talking about that so stop shifting the goal post. You’re actually annoying. No one is flipping talking about a grown adult living alone. One person hardly makes a mess.We’re talking about a married mother with kids who also works. So why bring upWhy do people act like its something difficult? If you live on your own you do it everyday. It takes me like 1-2 hours to cook and a quick 15-30 min cleaning everyday and then another 1-2 hour deep cleaning on the weekends. Women will tell you this is equivalent to a full time job
Something that we’re not talking about? Just so that you can dismiss mothers? So having a bigger house with babies that make a mess, triple the laundry and ironing ect is the same as one person. Are you dumb?
We’re talking about when messy kids are in the picture. It isn’t a 1-2 hr job. Combine that work as well in which women are also getting kids ready in the morning, going to their work shift, coming back whilst tired, cleaning cooking, helping kids with the homework and the list goes on. It’s funny that you didn’t address that as you have no idea about that. Unless you’ve done that you’re. Shut the hell up.
It isnf easy and only those who don’t do much say it is. It doesn’t take 15-30 mins to clean. The fact that you think that shows that you don’t clean. 15-30 mins is literally tidying the surface. It takes 10 mins to clean one toilet let alone cleaning a whole 3 bedroom. It’s obvious you hardly clean mate, let alone doing that with babies in the house soI think you need to stop dismissing what mothers do.
If it was so easy why do working men refuse to help? One min it’s easy when you lot want to get women to everything. The next min women are the bad guys for wanting to make their poor tired provider husbands for doing extra work.
The agenda is clear. At this point you lot are nothing but gaslighters.
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In the west it’s becoming difficult but as a man to think that it ain’t your job to provide ultimately is a joke. You should be grateful that she’s helping you financially instead of expecting it. You’re a Muslim. It literally says your job is to provide. If you have issues with that, then seek help, preferably a Sheikh. I’m not going back and forth with regards to the very basics of the deen and even the marriage contract.
@Dualke
people are so dumb. Of course living alone is easy in a flipping one bedroom apartment and hardly one person makes a lot of mess. Especially if you’re working and out most of the day. Most the guys here are full of shit and want to act like a family of kids under 10, with a shit load of laundry and lots of food to make is the same as one lone bachelor who doesn’t even clean properly.
Because none of them want to engage properly and simply want to act like what mothers do is easy but when a woman is like her husband should help, it’s all of a sudden too hard for a poor man that’s been working all day. The goal post will always shift because the agenda is for woman to do everything by themselves. They’ll flip flop and next time they go on about how women should do XYZ as the husband is too tired from providing, I will dig up this thread. A lot of the men here are so disingenuous it makes me sick.
people are so dumb. Of course living alone is easy in a flipping one bedroom apartment and hardly one person makes a lot of mess. Especially if you’re working and out most of the day. Most the guys here are full of shit and want to act like a family of kids under 10, with a shit load of laundry and lots of food to make is the same as one lone bachelor who doesn’t even clean properly.
Because none of them want to engage properly and simply want to act like what mothers do is easy but when a woman is like her husband should help, it’s all of a sudden too hard for a poor man that’s been working all day. The goal post will always shift because the agenda is for woman to do everything by themselves. They’ll flip flop and next time they go on about how women should do XYZ as the husband is too tired from providing, I will dig up this thread. A lot of the men here are so disingenuous it makes me sick.
It sounds to me like you're inefficient with your cleaning. Of course I'm tidying, how messy do you think I am that I need to spend hours everyday. That's why I said 15-30min quick clean everyday and a deep clean on the weekend. My place is sparkling clean.
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