Somali men have been babied by their mothers

[Angelina]

It sounds to me like you're inefficient with your cleaning. Of course I'm tidying, how messy do you think I am that I need to spend hours everyday. That's why I said 15-30min quick clean everyday and a deep clean on the weekend. My place is sparkling clean.

Bari it doesn’t take 15-30 mins. You clearly don’t clean and or can’t clean. 15-30 mins is a quick tidy up. I even mentioned that if you’re living alone you don’t have to clean everyday. So I don’t know what people who live alone have anything to do with the conversation.

 

[Bari🐍]

Bari it doesn’t take 15-30 mins. You clearly don’t clean and or can’t clean. 15-30 mins is a quick tidy up. I even mentioned that if you’re living alone you don’t have to clean everyday. So I don’t know what people who live alone have anything to do with the conversation.

I'm gonna be honest, I didn't even read the thread lol. I wasn't even talking about women with kids that's another story. I was just referring to the women who think cooking and cleaning is equivalent to a full days work. The real labor is in child rearing.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Are we going to lie and say it isn’t tiring after a long day of work? Especially when you’re already mentally tired? The thing is with mothers it’s not ending when you have kids who constantly make a mess. Come on after work people want to rest. Especially if you ehad to get the kids ready early in the morning and couldn’t even just wake up shower and have a quite coffee by yourself before heading to your actual work.

If the chores are evenly divided, it's not tiring (even if you're the only one doing them, it wont be). There are dishwashers (I dont even use it as I find it therapeutic to use my hands) and robotic vacuum cleaners now. Breakfast can be cereal, microwaveable oatmeal, etc. You can prepare meats and cut up vegetables and freeze them for the next three days. You can clean a room per day. You're not efficient.

It shouldn't be tiring for a stay at home mom as well.

You can make your coffee at work.

By your own admission, you have an Indian maid now (I think they're a step above a slave but that's another topic for another day).
Chores are not supposed to be tiring. It's clear I do alot more than you and I'm not tired. Respectfully, you may have a health matter like low iron. Or maybe you work with bad coworkers that exhaust you.

 

[Dualke]

@Dualke

people are so dumb. Of course living alone is easy in a flipping one bedroom apartment and hardly one person makes a lot of mess. Especially if you’re working and out most of the day. Most the guys here are full of shit and want to act like a family of kids under 10, with a shit load of laundry and lots of food to make is the same as one lone bachelor who doesn’t even clean properly.

Because none of them want to engage properly and simply want to act like what mothers do is easy but when a woman is like her husband should help, it’s all of a sudden too hard for a poor man that’s been working all day. The goal post will always shift because the agenda is for woman to do everything by themselves. They’ll flip flop and next time they go on about how women should do XYZ as the husband is too tired from providing, I will dig up this thread. A lot of the men here are so disingenuous it makes me sick.

Yeah a lot of people here are definitely using strawmans it is ceeb

If the chores are evenly divided, it's not tiring (even if you're the only one doing them, it wont be). There are dishwashers (I dont even use it as I find it therapeutic to use my hands) and robotic vacuum cleaners now. Breakfast can be cereal, microwaveable oatmeal, etc. You can prepare meats and cut up vegetables and freeze them for the next three days. You can clean a room per day. You're not efficient.

It shouldn't be tiring for a stay at home mom as well.

You can make your coffee at work.

By your own admission, you have an Indian maid now (I think they're a step above a slave but that's another topic for another day).
Chores are not supposed to be tiring. It's clear I do alot more than you and I'm not tired. Respectfully, you may have a health matter like low iron. Or maybe you work with bad coworkers that exhaust you.

How so? Do you believe citizens in khaleeji countries having servants is a form of persecution?

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

@Angelina, life isn't meant to be 100% fun and 100% on easy mode and 100% raaxo. You're not a teenager anymore. You're lucky to have 1.5 hours of your own time after work. Find some time during work hours to take it easy and have time for yourself.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Yeah a lot of people here are definitely using strawmans it is ceeb

How so? Do you believe citizens in khaleeji countries having servants is a form of persecution?

They are paid like shit. All the service workers there barely make ends meet and live a dozen to an apartment.

 

[Dualke]

They are paid like shit. All the service workers there barely make ends meet and live a dozen to an apartment.

Are they paid by the employer on a case-by-case basis or is there some corporation that handles all of it? Are there minimum wage laws in the Khaleej?

 

[Angelina]

If the chores are evenly divided, it's not tiring (even if you're the only one doing them, it wont be). There are dishwashers (I dont even use it as I find it therapeutic to use my hands) and robotic vacuum cleaners now. Breakfast can be cereal, microwaveable oatmeal, etc. You can prepare meats and cut up vegetables and freeze them for the next three days. You can clean a room per day. You're not efficient.

When you’re working and kids are in the picture it’s tiring. I don’t know anyone who’ll claim it isn’t apart from you and you’re only saying that because you like to argue. From now on breadwinner men have no reason not to do chores as it’s easy and isn’t tiring.

It shouldn't be tiring for a stay at home mom as well.

You can make your coffee at work.

Yes, she could. But we’re not going to lie and say that getting hardly any sleep and getting young kids ready before work and then doing another 8 hrs isn’t tiring. It’s obvious you simply want to argue. Soon you’ll tell me child birth is easy and so is breastfeeding. There isn’t an ounce of honesty in you. I also do not believe you’re a father of many kids who works and does chores as you wouldn’t have time to be here. I work in tech, so on my laptop, have cleaners ect which is why I can be on here. You’re full of it and can see right through you. A working mother or father who actually does child rear and look after a home aren’t on this forum. You’re a troll Abdi.

By your own admission, you have an Indian maid now (I think they're a step above a slave but that's another topic for another day).

Not Indian and she comes a few times a week. I thought chores weren’t tiring. So
How am I enslaving her?

Chores are not supposed to be tiring. It's clear I do alot more than you and I'm not tired. Respectfully, you may have a health matter like low iron. Or maybe you work with bad coworkers that exhaust you.

Chores have always been tiring which is why People are meant to help each other. Like I said you like to argue. It’s tiring when you’ve been up on your feet since 6 and can’t rest straight after work because you have kids to feed and a house to quickly tidy. Raising kids isn’t easy. But you being the troll that you are will say it is.

 

[Angelina]

@Angelina, life isn't meant to be 100% fun and 100% on easy mode and 100% raaxo. You're not a teenager anymore. You're lucky to have 1.5 hours of your own time after work. Find some time during work hours to take it easy and have time for yourself.

Men have a lot of free time compared to women. Life is only not fun for mothers it seems. Men having more free time is a fact. Even househusbands have more free time than a breadwinner wife, yet a housewife doesn’t have more free time than a breadwinner husband.

We can all see through your B.S.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Are they paid by the employer on a case-by-case basis or is there some corporation that handles all of it? Are there minimum wage laws in the Khaleej?

I'm not sure about the first question. Lol @ minimum wage. Their service workers are extremely badly paid and work under terrible conditions. Not to mention, it is expensive to live there. If you want to lose faith in humanity, you should visit and talk to the service workers there. I guess it's slightly better than life rural Pakistan but it still leaves a bad taste in your mouth considering how much wealth is there.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Men have a lot of free time compared to women. Life is only not fun for mothers it seems. Men having more free time is a fact. Even househusbands have more free time than a breadwinner wife, yet a housewife doesn’t have more free time than a breadwinner husband.

We can all see through your B.S.

I am having a hard time understanding what exactly you do if you have your own personal maid to clean your house.

 

[Angelina]

I am having a hard time understanding what exactly you do if you have your own personal maid to clean your house.

I cook food, work and run my own side business. I lead a productive life in which I don’t have to think about scrubbing a toilet when I could be making money, and going to the gym.

I’m not talking about myself. I’m in the ME. My whole point was about Western women with kids who also get no help. I’m in an incredibly privileged position at the moment. No way am I talking about myself.

You too have a lot of free time. You wouldn’t be able to go back forth all the time if you were a full time parent. I don’t believe you. Even a mother with a maid wouldn’t be able to do what you do. I’d be with my kids.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

I cook food, work and run my own side business. I lead a productive life in which I don’t have to think about scrubbing a toilet when I could be making money, and going to the gym.

I’m not talking about myself. I’m in the ME. My whole point was about Western women with kids who also get no help.

You too have a lot of free time. You wouldn’t be able to go back forth all the time if you were a full time parent.

You have a very easy life. Western women get help. Not every man is a deadbeat.

@Dualke at me saying I was ignoring this. I was ignoring this thread. It's midnight. I have free time.

 

[Angelina]

You have a very easy life. Western women get help. Not every man is a deadbeat.

Hardly. Western women are working and doing the bulk of the cooking and cleaning and men have way and I mean way more free time. Whilst many wives are putting in the same amount of money.

Let me tell you what shocked me. It doesn’t matter if a woman is a sole breadwinner, she still does a lot of housework, yet the rules are different for a man who is the sole breadwinner. He hardly does anything. A kept man who stays home does way less than a kept housewife who is also at home.

What does that tell you Abdifreedom?

@Dualke at me saying I was ignoring this. I was ignoring this thread. It's midnight. I have free time.

Please I’ve seen you go back and forth with me for hours. I a woman with no kids, who doesn’t clean and has a living sitting in front of a screen can do that. A father of 5 who claims to be in a 50/50 relationship? And who also works. How do you have time in the day when kids require constant care and interaction?

 

[cooli3o]

In the west it’s becoming difficult but as a man to think that it ain’t your job to provide ultimately is a joke. You should be grateful that she’s helping you financially instead of expecting it. You’re a Muslim. It literally says your job is to provide. If you have issues with that, then seek help, preferably a Sheikh. I’m not going back and forth with regards to the very basics of the deen and even the marriage contract.

should a women expect her man to help with housework and child rearing and cooking?

 

[Angelina]

should a women expect her man to help with housework and child rearing and cooking?

Child rearing? Are you planning to have children and not looking after them?

If a woman is a housewife, she could expect that she’d do the bulk of the work, but you can’t live in a house and do nothing. Don’t have kids if you’re not going to there for them.

also, Islamically a woman doing all the cooking and cleaning is charity on her end. It isn’t the same as a man providing as madhabs believe that a man can’t force her to do everything. She isn’t your maid.

As a man when you’re providing it’s because when you got married you made a promise to her father that you’d know be in charge of her.

 

[cooli3o]

Child rearing? Are you planning to have children and not looking after them?

If a woman is a housewife, she could expect that she’d do the bulk of the work, but you can’t leave in a house and do nothing. Don’t have kids if you’re not going to there for them.

Exactly so as a Women in the west you would expect a man to take your kids out take them to school help with housework and cooking etc...
Therefore just as you expect your man to do something that he wouldn't need to do in another country he can expect you to do something you wouldn't need to do in another country.

Man takes up respoinsibilites that isn't his, caring for children alot and doing housework and cooking and anything else like that, and a women is expected to take up a resonsibility that isn't hers, namely working and contributing to the household. I don't see a problem with this.

and before you tell me men don't do that everytime I go out I see men by themselves taking out their kids and taking them to school and in the park with buggies, so men are doing alot more child caring now.

 

[Angelina]

Exactly so as a Women in the west you would expect a man to take your kids out take them to school help with housework and cooking etc...
Therefore just as you expect your man to do something that he wouldn't need to do in another country he can expect you to do something you wouldn't need to do in another country.

Man takes up respoinsibilites that isn't his, caring for children alot and doing housework and cooking and anything else like that, and a women is expected to take up a resonsibility that isn't hers, namely working and contributing to the household. I don't see a problem with this.

As a man, there is nothing in the deen to suggest that you shouldn’t help your kids. How is that connected to the West? Why even have children if you think taking them to school is a woman’s job bisinka.
The kids are yours. Don’t have kids if you’re not going to raise them. I get that a woman should more if she’s a housewife but that’s your own kids. Money isn’t enough. That’s one thing. Whilst a woman is literally giving her body AND she’s cooking ,cleaning, teaching them, nurturing them. How is that fair that you just do one thing and she gives her body, health and labour. How is that an equal exchange?

and before you tell me men don't do that everytime I go out I see men by themselves taking out their kids and taking them to school and in the park with buggies, so men are doing alot more child caring now.

MashaAllah.

 

[cooli3o]

The kids are yours. Don’t have kids if you’re not going to raise them. I get that a woman should more if she’s a housewife but that’s your own kids. Money isn’t enough. That’s one thing. Whilst a woman is literally giving her body AND she’s cooking and cleaning for them. How is that fair that you just do one thing and she gives her body, health and labour. How is that an equal exchange? As a man the kids are also YOUR job is not your wife Is a single mother that gets funded.

Your conflating 2 of my points.
All I said was, is a women in the west should be expected to work, if she isn't a mother and has freetime, in general.
if a women is a mother I don't think she should be expected to work.

Also, since you think it is a mans responsibilty to solely provide, do you really think women are alright with living in a lower socioeconomic area in the hood because she refuses to work and her husband is the sole provider? 99% of women I know would never accept this, and instead work and live in a better area, so in actuality women themselves want to work so they can support there better lifestyle. I don't see a problem with this as a man, she works and contributes and so do I, and that way we can live an easy lifestyle in the west.

Me being the sole provider would mean she is gonna live a very difficult life

 

[Angelina]

Your conflating 2 of my points.
All I said was, is a women in the west should be expected to work, if she isn't a mother and has freetime, in general.
if a women is a mother I don't think she should be expected to work.

Fair enough.

Also, since you think it is a mans responsibilty to solely provide, do you really think women are alright with living in a lower socioeconomic area in the hood because she refuses to work and her husband is the sole provider? 99% of women I know would never accept this, and instead work and live in a better area, so in actuality women themselves want to work so they can support there better lifestyle. I don't see a problem with this as a man, she works and contributes and so do I, and that way we can live an easy lifestyle in the west.

In all honesty, couples should do what’s best for the kids and what would give them a better life for them in general. I just think that men should have a provider mindset and their goal should be that they’re able to pay for most things for the family giving the wife the ability to focus on her kids and husband.

Me being the sole provider would mean she is gonna live a very difficult life

Yh you’re right. Some sort of compromise has to be made at times.