Somali men have been babied by their mothers

[Angelina]

I am the complete opposite of a misogynist. If I was President of Somalia, the country would be #1 in the world for having the most best treated women and girls.

All I'm saying is if you want to be a housewife, then you should get married as early as possible or be a widowed housewife. It's not reasonable to expect to be a housewife so late into your life. It shows you only want to be saved after working in the real world and realizing it wasn't for you or getting tired of the grind.

It is reasonable as everyone has different timelines in life. Some people marry at 20, some at 25 and some at 30. It’s life and not everyone is going to marry at the same time.

At the end of the day, as Muslims we believe that regardless of age women have a right to be a housewives. Most women tend to marry within their age group anyways. A woman in her early 20s married to a guy only 3 years older is going struggle with being a housewife due to how young her husband is. I’m calling you out as you’re trying to regurgitate redpill logic when most men in their late 20s and early 30s are marrying women who are only a couple of yours younger and not a decade.

Also, so what if she wants to be saved? Why are you as a man so entitled? So you want a woman to give birth to your kids, cook and clean and she can’t even have expectations that you look after her? That’s misogyny and thank God for Islam. You have 0 rights to have any expectations over a woman if you refuse to provide. That’s our tradition. Is the most basic aspect of the Islamic marriage contract and you have issues with that. It’s literally the cornerstone. Do you have issues with Islamic marriages?

 

[Shimbiris]

Being a mother is one of the hardest jobs so making it seem like housewives are out here just watching TV kinda shows me you can’t relate.

According to my mother it actually gets pretty boring and tedious once the kids start school. You eventually get cleaning, arranging the house and cooking down to a science so it doesn't take up much of your time. Watching TV (or internet browsing now), shopping and eating just become depression inducing outlets and you slowly go insane and the marriage even gets kinda dysfunctional because he comes home tired from work but you have plenty of energy to talk and make love and whatnot. This is especially more so true in the Gulf where you are where housekeepers and nannies offload 90% of any real physical labor unless you really want to partake yourself. Makes most women go insane, honestly.

My mother tends to despise being friends with housewives. "They're all insane, Shimbiris. All of them. Too much time on their hands like an unemployed shut-in of a man. They come at you with all kinds of rakhiis stuff they read online and gossip about this or that woman. Insufferable!" she noped out herself very quickly after my adoptive sister and I started school and opened herself a tailoring shop. She always advised me to have a wife who works even if I can afford to keep her at home. "Find you a woman with ambitions and her own life and who comes home tired like you. You'll understand each other."

 

[Angelina]

According to my mother it actually gets pretty boring and tedious once the kids start school. You eventually get cleaning, arranging the house and cooking down to a science so it doesn't take up much of your time. Watching TV (or internet browsing now), shopping and eating just become depression inducing outlets and you slowly go insane and the marriage even gets kinda dysfunctional because he comes home tired from work but you have plenty of energy to talk and make love and whatnot. This is especially more so true in the Gulf where you are where housekeepers and nannies offload 90% of any real physical labor unless you really want to partake yourself. Makes most women go insane, honestly.m

My mother tends to despise being friends with housewives. "They're all insane, Shimbiris. All of them. Too much time on their hands like an unemployed shut-in of a man. They come at you with all kinds of rakhiis stuff they read online and gossip about this or that woman. Insufferable!" she noped out herself very quickly after my adoptive sister and I started school and opened herself a tailoring shop. She always advised me to have a wife who works even if I can afford to keep her at home. "Find you a woman with ambitions and her own life and who comes home tired like you. You'll understand each other."

How many kids did she have? I get the vibe that you don’t have a big family. In that situation it gets boring.

But I highly doubt your mother found it easy working when you were a few months old and she was breastfeeding you.

 

[Shimbiris]

But I highly doubt your mother found it easy working when you were a few months old and she was breastfeeding you.

It's fine to be at home during those initial years but she's right that once they're in school and gone 70% of the day and running off with friends on the weekends it gets nauseating. This was true even for the eedos and habos with sizeable families. I've noticed she's right about housewife aunties mentally speaking as well. Most I've met seem overly chatty, depressed and somewhat neurotic. Lot of them are also excessively overweight due to eating their feelings.

 

[Angelina]

@Shimbiris

Shimbiris, the Gulf is a whole different ball game to the West. In the UK, women don’t have that luxury and would have to bath their kids, feed them, get them ready to school, drop them off and then get to work. They’ve already done a mini shift before starting their work shift and probably don’t go back to bed after Fajr prayer. Also, picking them up, cooking after doing a whole work day, helping them with the homework, put them to bed and oh don’t get me started with if you have a kid under 3 who requires extra attention. Someone women don’t even have enough time to take a long shower as if they leave their kids he’d eat everything on the floor and potentially choke.

 

[Angelina]

It's fine to be at home during those initial years but she's right that once they're in school and gone 70% of the day and running off with friends on the weekends it gets nauseating. This was true even for the eedos and habos with sizeable families.

Those Edo’s with sizeable families have been working non stop for at least 10 years. I year pregnant, 1 year breastfeeding and not enough sleep, then maybe a year with off with a toddler who can’t be left alone and you’d feel guilty leaving them with a nanny. And then pregnant again and the cycle continues. I’m sorry, but I’m side-eying you men here.

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[Odious Delirium]

Predatory? It’s a woman’s rights. Men not be able to fulfil that doesn’t make women wanting that regardless of age predatory. @Javelin I’m surprised you’re liking this. I’m sorry but as Muslims whether a woman is a young virgin, widow or divorce doesn’t take away her rights to be provided for similarly to the way a man’s age doesn’t take away his rights to be listened to in a relationship.

This is just downright misogyny at this point and people being so Westernised that women’s most basic fundamental rights are now a threat.

I understand as a man not being able to afford it and wanting help and if you and your partner are able to work together in that regard cool. But don’t you lot dare try to and shame women for the most basic right that they have. You really can’t have any expectations as a man tbh if you can’t provide. Simple as, so let’s not try and change the rule book.

if you read my reply to abdifreedom you would see why i liked his comment and i further elaborated in my own comment. nothing was stated about women demanding the right to be provided for your reading into things that aren't there and you already know i intend to be the sole provider so obviously i don't have an issue with women wanting to be provided for

im talking about those people who are delusional both men and women and that what we do in life will have some effect on our options. some people temper themselves accordingly while others live on in delusion and wonder why they cant get what they want.
this was my reply:

that is the crux of the issue for many.
everyone want it all to go there way. they don't realize what path you choose in life will have an effect on your dream out come of having your caking and eating it. not that its not possible but most aren't that lucky and think just because someone else has done it who just so happens to not be mediocre like themselves then they can do it aswell

to many delusional people out there and there numbers are only going to increase

 

[Shimbiris]

Those Edo’s with sizeable families have been working non stop for at least 10 years. I year pregnant, 1 year breastfeeding and not enough sleep, then maybe a year with off with a toddler who can’t be left alone and you’d feel guilty leaving them with a nanny. And then pregnant again and the cycle continues. I’m sorry, but I’m side-eying you men here.

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Yes, but even with those women they eventually lose their marbles because even with them the kids eventually all go to school and develop social lives and the hooyo isn't as needed anymore. Especially in the Gulf where they delegate so much to housekeepers and nannies. Just my personal opinion from watching my mother and many aunts over the years. Besides, I don't entirely recommend someone have more than 4 if they want to have a functional life and good relationship with their kids anyway unless they're very rich.

It's mentally better for a woman to work if she has too much free-time. Just my opinion. It doesn't even have to be for lacag. Inshallah if things work out for me business wise the wife won't need to financially contribute but I'd still push her to do something with her life. Even become a full-time academic. It's better for the mind. Women were not idle for most of human pre-history and history. They go just as gonzo as men when idle. Idle minds being the devil's playground and all and I do think it's true that we'd understand each other better if we both came home tired at the end of weekdays.

 

[Angelina]

if you read my reply to abdifreedom you would see why i liked his comment and i further elaborated in my own comment. nothing was stated about women demanding the right to be provided for your reading into things that aren't there and you already know i intend to be the sole provider so obviously i don't have an issue with women wanting to be provided for

im talking about those people who are delusional both men and women and that what we do in life will have some effect on our options. some people temper themselves accordingly while others live on in delusion and wonder why they cant get what they want.
this was my reply:

Abdifreedom is pretty clear that if you’re a woman who is older you can’t expect to be provided for. It’s sick entitlement that the West has put into men. They think they can access women’s bodies, labor have children with them and women can’t even have expectations of being looked after. It’s mad when you deep it. That’s literally what he preaches.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

It is reasonable as everyone has different timelines in life. Some people marry at 20, some at 25 and some at 30. It’s life and not everyone is going to marry at the same time.

At the end of the day, as Muslims we believe that regardless of age women have a right to be a housewives. Most women tend to marry within their age group anyways. A woman in her early 20s married to a guy only 3 years older is going struggle with being a housewife due to how young her husband is. I’m calling you out as you’re trying to regurgitate redpill logic when most men in their late 20s and early 30s are marrying women who are only a couple of yours younger and not a decade.

Also, so what if she wants to be saved? Why are you as a man so entitled? So you want a woman to give birth to your kids, cook and clean and she can’t even have expectations that you look after her? That’s misogyny and thank God for Islam. You have 0 rights to have any expectations over a woman if you refuse to provide. That’s our tradition. Is the most basic aspect of the Islamic marriage contract and you have issues with that. It’s literally the cornerstone. Do you have issues with Islamic marriages?

I don't like the red pill anti-women talk. I don't know why you think I am part of them. I find that insulting.

I have no issues with Islamic marriages? My mom was a stay at home mom. You just have to be realistic. There's not going to be that many men in the west who will agree to that arrangement when she initially decided it wasn't for her.

I don't believe in the "marriage timeline" nonsense. A woman can get married at 21 or 22 if she really wants to. They just never prioritized it. That's the easiest time for a lady to get a man and she could look terrible and obese.

 

[Shimbiris]

@Shimbiris

Shimbiris, the Gulf is a whole different ball game to the West. In the UK, women don’t have that luxury and would have to bath their kids, feed them, get them ready to school, drop them off and then get to work. They’ve already done a mini shift before starting their work shift and probably don’t go back to bed after Fajr prayer. Also, picking them up, cooking after doing a whole work day, helping them with the homework, put them to bed and oh don’t get me started with if you have a kid under 3 who requires extra attention. Someone women don’t even have enough time to take a long shower as if they leave their kids he’d eat everything on the floor and potentially choke.

Some of the niggas on here might downvote me but at that point, in that environment, I'd say the saaxiib needs to contribute with the ilmo chores. It is insanity to expect her to work full-time, contribute financially to the household AND take care of all the children related stuff. If I heard one of my female kin was married to a man who put her through that I'd break down their front door and leave with her and her ilmo that same day. If you admit you cannot afford a one provider household then fine, no problem, but since you've already changed the traditional dynamic might as well change it some more and divvy up the housework as well. He better be preparing breakfast while she washes them or else!

 

[Angelina]

Yes, but even with those women they eventually lose their marbles because even with them the kids eventually all go to school and develop social lives and the hooyo isn't as needed anymore. Especially in the Gulf where they delegate so much to housekeepers and nannies. Just my personal opinion from watching my mother and many aunts over the years. Besides, I don't entirely recommend someone have more than 4 if they want to have a functional life and good relationship with their kids anyway unless they're very rich.

In the context of the Gulf and women who only have like two kids you’re right. But these guys here are in the West in which women don’t get any help, are the main caretakers of the home and are expected to work. Women are literally mini shifts before their actual work shifts whilst most us take for granted we can wake up and drink coffee and get ourselves to work without having to shower screaming toddlers before having to face our bosses. It’s things like this that we disregard.

It's mentally better for a woman to work if she has too much free-time. Just my opinion. It doesn't even have to be for lacag. Inshallah if things work out for me business wise the wife won't need to financially contribute but I'd still push her to do something with her life. Even become a full-time academic. It's better for the mind. Women were not idle for most of human pre-history and history. They go just as gonzo as men when idle. Idle minds being the devil's playground and all and I do think it's true that we'd understand each other better if we both came home tired at the end of weekdays.

I agree.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Abdifreedom is pretty clear that if you’re a woman who is older you can’t expect to be provided for. It’s sick entitlement that the West has put into men. They think they can access women’s bodies, labor have children with them and women can’t even have expectations of being looked after. It’s mad when you deep it. That’s literally what he preaches.

I didn't say that. I said it's insincere and not many will take up the offer. They're going to want you to work. They'll just find someone who will agree to work.

 

[Angelina]

I don't like the red pill anti-women talk. I don't know why you think I am part of them. I find that insulting.

I have no issues with Islamic marriages? My mom was a stay at home mom. You just have to be realistic. There's not going to be that many men in the west who will agree to that arrangement when she initially decided it wasn't for her.

I don't believe in the "marriage timeline" nonsense. A woman can get married at 21 or 22 if she really wants to. They just never prioritized it. That's the easiest time for a lady to get a man and she could look terrible and obese.

No, anyone can get married at any age but you need to vet and meet people and sometimes that takes time and not everyone is in the right mind frame to get married at a particular age. So no, you’re wrong. Also, you seem to not understand the concept of Qadr. If it isn’t written for you to marry at a certain age you ever will. Remember that.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Also, so what if she wants to be saved?

 

[Angelina]

I didn't say that. I said it's insincere and not many will take up the offer. They're going to want you to work. They'll just find someone who will agree to work.

A woman doesn’t need a sincere reason to want to be provided for. It is her right as a wife. Men need to understand that especially as a Muslim man. The marriage contract literally hinges upon his provision and you’re saying stuff like that. It’s madness how you think as a Muslim.

 

[Angelina]

Abdifreedoom, remember what you are. You’re a Muslim. Allah specially says the believing husband provides. If you have an issue with that take that up with a scholar and yes I’m aware that as a Muslim woman Im meant to listen to my husband. That’s the way it is. But calling a woman insincere for wanting the most basics of her rights that the marriage contract entails is insane to me.

 

[Shimbiris]

Some of the niggas on here might downvote me but at that point, in that environment, I'd say the saaxiib needs to contribute with the ilmo chores. It is insanity to expect her to work full-time, contribute financially to the household AND take care of all the children related stuff. If I heard one of my female kin was married to a man who put her through that I'd break down their front door and leave with her and her ilmo that same day. If you admit you cannot afford a one provider household then fine, no problem, but since you've already changed the traditional dynamic might as well change it some more and divvy up the housework as well. He better be preparing breakfast while she washes them or else!

@Angelina

I think we generally agree. Kekekekeke. Was one of them unnecessary arguments where you go around and realize there was no actual disagreement to begin with.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Abdifreedoom, remember what you are. You’re a Muslim. Allah specially says the believing husband provides. If you have an issue with that taking you with a scholar and yes I’m aware that as a Muslim woman Im mean to listen to my husband. That’s the way it is.

I do provide. Why do you think I don't? Not only do I provide but I do the majority of the housework.

 

[Angelina]

I do provide. Why do you think I don't? Not only do I provide but I do the majority of the housework.

Im not talking about you personally but what you’re preaching. At the end of the day if people want to do 50/50 and both parties are happy with it or people want a household in which the wife leads, and both parties are happy with it, that’s on them but we need to remember that the default as Muslims is a man that provides and a wife that accepts that the husband is a leader. If a man decides that he wants to be a leader would you say he’s insincere? Of course not. But a woman wanting the most basic thing that the marriage contract in Islam is built upon which is intimacy and provision Abdifreedom is ‘insincere’? Wild shit. By claiming such a thing you’re claiming the whole marriage foundation of Muslims is insincere.