Somali lad on YouTube lambasts western Somali women, insults his own sister
- Thread starter SuldaanCabdicaziz
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Not true actually, women like a man who is in charge of his life and also in-tune with his emotions and can be sensitive and share how he feels. Women would also be very flattered that their man trusts them enough to open up and be vulnerable! Only toxic women dislike emotionally healthy men.
It can be a bit of a harsh thing to just say, but most women won't look at a guy that cries or shows a high amount of emotion other than happiness/anger the same way they did before.
They may not leave just because he cried/was emotional before, but she'll never think of him as highly as she did before.
High emotion is different to emotionally open. Constantly crying is not seen as pleasant for men AND women.
I am a woman and I know women, men who are sensitive and also succesful are seen as the 'ideal' for serious relationships. Men who are emotionally closed are seen as short term companions/not serious people.
I was recently talking to a woman who said she felt closer to her husband when he cried in front of her. Women actually bond with each other by being open so they would also feel closer to a man who is healthy and can share how he feels.
I don't know who lied to men about all of this.
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@GemState @AbdiGaalDoon
I'll do a survey with the sisters on here and show you guys the responses.
Toxic masculinity has told men lies and in fact, being emotionally constipated ruins relationships.
Muslim men are supposed to cry to Allah for forgiveness and show emotion when warranted. When you watch Muslim prayers on TV you will see the Sheikh and other worshippers shed tears. So imagine how a woman would feel being privy to her man's feelings? She would be honoured in fact.
It is a sign of emotional sickness and insecurity for a man to not cry or talk about how he feels. As if he is scared of himself and these repressed emotions can show up in harmful ways such as uncontrolled RAGE, thus it is also concerning.
I'll do a survey with the sisters on here and show you guys the responses.
Toxic masculinity has told men lies and in fact, being emotionally constipated ruins relationships.
Muslim men are supposed to cry to Allah for forgiveness and show emotion when warranted. When you watch Muslim prayers on TV you will see the Sheikh and other worshippers shed tears. So imagine how a woman would feel being privy to her man's feelings? She would be honoured in fact.
It is a sign of emotional sickness and insecurity for a man to not cry or talk about how he feels. As if he is scared of himself and these repressed emotions can show up in harmful ways such as uncontrolled RAGE, thus it is also concerning.
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when I say opening up emotionally, I'm talking about serious vulnerabilities like;
Depression, fear of losing a job, concern for the status of your relationship, any conditions/illness, and basically anything that takes away from you being strong and confident. I think women just want to hear acceptable vulnerabilities but nothing that really influence your effectiveness as a man.
IMO women want to feel validated by their partner trusting them, but don't have the capacity to really appropriately manage the specific thing that their partner shares.
No, in fact when a man shares how he feels when things go wrong, this is what mature women think:
1. Trust: my man trusts me to share how he feels.
2. He cares: if he shares how he feels it means he really cares about himself and us.
3. Health: letting out emotions by talking and crying is relieving and makes someone feel better and less stressed.
4. Confidence: this man did not internalise toxic masculinity.
If a man clams up or becomes aggressive ; which are the two ways men are told to behave like, they are not being effective. In fact, a woman would assume he is not doing anything to sort himself out.
Women LOVE talking about emotions, it is the highest form of bonding and trust.
@GemState
Look at how women (and men) love Keanu Reeves for example.
He is seen as strong physically but also very sweet and sensitive. He is not a womaniser and was supposedly grieving for his deceased fiance for years. His latest girlfriend is a woman who looks older than him. Because of his image, he has most people eating out of the palm of his hands. He is not even the best actor but in his 50s he is one of the most popular actors of all time.
Sylvester Stallone, Van Damme and all the other stoic men can never achieve this global level of adoration.
Recently Sandra Bullock shared a story about how Keanu surprised her at home once with food/drink he wanted her to try and women were swooning over it.
Titanic, The Notebook etc, these are the films and male characters women love. It is interesting that men are not seeing what makes women tick. I would suggest men need to spend more time on a therapist couch instead of just lifting weights.
Look at how women (and men) love Keanu Reeves for example.
He is seen as strong physically but also very sweet and sensitive. He is not a womaniser and was supposedly grieving for his deceased fiance for years. His latest girlfriend is a woman who looks older than him. Because of his image, he has most people eating out of the palm of his hands. He is not even the best actor but in his 50s he is one of the most popular actors of all time.
Sylvester Stallone, Van Damme and all the other stoic men can never achieve this global level of adoration.
Recently Sandra Bullock shared a story about how Keanu surprised her at home once with food/drink he wanted her to try and women were swooning over it.
Titanic, The Notebook etc, these are the films and male characters women love. It is interesting that men are not seeing what makes women tick. I would suggest men need to spend more time on a therapist couch instead of just lifting weights.
I can see where you're coming from with Keanu Reeves, I think he comes across as more down to Earth and personable than a Sylvester Stallone which people gravitate to more.
But I just think men kind of have an image to maintain, and trying to talk about real insecurities ruins that image women have built up of men a lot of the time. I've seen it happen a lot.
I agree sis.
But at the same time we need to remember that at times when men have issues the reason why they clam up isn't so that they repress their emotions, its because men deal with stress differently. There are also women who deal with stress in this way as well.
For instance, if a man is dealing with something, in many cases their first instinct isn't to talk about it but its to find solutions. They mind goes into haywire as they're trying to find ways to overcome the challenges. Hence, they might come across as closed off and introverted during that time period. I'm all for men being able to open up and being more emotionally healthy, but at the same time we need to acknowledge that they deal with situations a little differently.
Mozart
You need people like me
The guy has a terrible relationship with his family and was homeless for a while, while documenting it on youtube. If anyone watches his other videos it's fairly obvious he needs help, but posting this clip for reactions is more important to people..I hope the brother has friends that are close to him, I sense he may be alone with his thoughts and sometimes we need a second or third opinion to put things in perspective. He really needs more joyful people around him to bring happiness in his space
i saw this guy's video, he has no shame uploading lol
That's a very good point. I read something similar in 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus', where the author explains that when men are upset or angry they go into their 'cave' to think.
However, it makes me wonder now, if this 'cave' is only so that they don't appear 'weak' as they have been told by society to repress their emotions.
but ...but...he is mentally unstable huuno. Look at the hair cut. The eyes. Seriously?
AbdiFreedom
Staff Member
You should check YouTube comments, Reddit threads and others when it comes to mental health or divorce. There are so many men who say they have opened up to their girlfriends or wives emotionally and were told to "man up" or "be strong" and in some cases laughed at him behind their backs to her friends or lost respect for him or have even left them. These are cadaans too and their culture is the most tolerant and accepting at opening up emotionally.
I think we need clarity on what you mean about opening up emotionally. Do you a man who is touched by a sad video and the woman fines that beautiful or a father who is constantly hugging his children? Or do you mean a man who opens up to his wife about his anxiety and depression? The woman will not tolerate the latter in a million years. Lots of online commentary will prove that. Women say they want a man to open up emotionally but when it happens, she becomes uncomfortable.
The story you said about your friend feeling closer about her husband crying is a rarity.
Speak to women in real life and ask them if they want a man that is closed off about his emotions or a man who speaks freely about them and isn't scared to shed a tear.
Of course there are also a lot of women who have internalised toxic masculinity notions and also think men should be stoic, but these women are not healthy themselves.
