Somali Girl Hiding Her African American Boyfriend From Her Family

[Basra]

Hi LSA! I need advice on this situation that I have been in for the past year. I met my boyfriend over a year ago by random chance. To preface, I am incredibly shy and this young man approached me clearly knowing what my religion is. I wear a hijab and he still pursued me. And we have been together ever since.

He's Black American and I am a Black Muslim. We are from two different worlds. My problem is more so my culture. I come from a background that is insular and judgemental. My family has never met my boyfriend. I hate to say this, but I know I would be disowned if I ever brought him over.

In the early stages of our relationship we would go out to the mall and movies and literally the stares we would get from my people made me so incredibly anxious and nervous to the point of throwing up. Even my boyfriend was amazed and didn't understand why all these people were looking at us.

I had to explain to him the situation and he understands it now. He's ok but I am not. This is not a life to live. Where we can only be normal when I am at his house.

I love this man so much and want to be his wife. I know if this were reversed I wouldn't be ok with my man hiding me. But he is which kills my heart. I feel like I am wasting his youth and life. I am 21 and he's 24.

I spent last night with him in tears. You guys do not understand how ruthless and cold-hearted my people can be. The stares are horrible, but it's the judgment and evil things people say that get to me. My boyfriend said to me why don't you just take off the hijab then you can look like a regular Black girl. But it's not that easy. My faith is very important to me. And even without my hijab my people will still clock me.

Any advice?


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