Somali Girl Hiding Her African American Boyfriend From Her Family

[ABG]

Hi LSA! I need advice on this situation that I have been in for the past year. I met my boyfriend over a year ago by random chance. To preface, I am incredibly shy and this young man approached me clearly knowing what my religion is. I wear a hijab and he still pursued me. And we have been together ever since.

He's Black American and I am a Black Muslim. We are from two different worlds. My problem is more so my culture. I come from a background that is insular and judgemental. My family has never met my boyfriend. I hate to say this, but I know I would be disowned if I ever brought him over.

In the early stages of our relationship we would go out to the mall and movies and literally the stares we would get from my people made me so incredibly anxious and nervous to the point of throwing up. Even my boyfriend was amazed and didn't understand why all these people were looking at us.

I had to explain to him the situation and he understands it now. He's ok but I am not. This is not a life to live. Where we can only be normal when I am at his house.

I love this man so much and want to be his wife. I know if this were reversed I wouldn't be ok with my man hiding me. But he is which kills my heart. I feel like I am wasting his youth and life. I am 21 and he's 24.

I spent last night with him in tears. You guys do not understand how ruthless and cold-hearted my people can be. The stares are horrible, but it's the judgment and evil things people say that get to me. My boyfriend said to me why don't you just take off the hijab then you can look like a regular Black girl. But it's not that easy. My faith is very important to me. And even without my hijab my people will still clock me.

Any advice?


https://www.lipstickalley.com/threa...om-the-world-and-its-been-killing-me.2453837/

 

[ABG]

Later in the thread she states she’s Somali and from Minneapolis

 

[ABG]

Someone gave her some good advice ITT

________________________________

I'm going to be as honest with you as I am with my nieces. And you are NOT going to like it, and like with them? I don't care.

Let's see here...

First boyfriend.
First "everything." doesn't go to Church or believe what you believe, thinks wearing a Hijab is stupid and why not just take the damn thing off and be normal?

You, my little butterfly, are living a fantasy. This isn't real. The love isn't real, there is no commitment. This is like playing at being a grownup. You're a child. And happy to remain one. Nothing wrong with that. Don't be in a hurry to grow up I say. But.

You're a "good Muslim girl" who has given her virginity to a man she's not only ashamed of but scared to bring home. And to be honest? If you abandoned your family for this man, has he spoken at all about taking care of you? Providing for you? Making you his WIFE the moment you're free? No? Just sexed you up? Just talked pretty words?

Child. Shaking my damn head at you.:sad

You're basically throwing away your whole life and everything you hold dear for a man who disrespected your beliefs to the point of taking your virginity, something that wasn't his to take, before offering you his protection.

Y'all need to break up and you need to wait till you meet someone you can't shut up about, not someone you have to HIDE. Hiding his hot, but in the end, it's stupid.

Romeo and Juliet KILLED THEMSELVES you know. NOT ROMANTIC.

 

[ABG]

I honestly feel bad for her she needs some guidance

 

[Degmada waaberi]

I honestly feel bad for her she needs some guidance

She says her faith is very important to her but yet she's with this gaal (I'm assuming) and spends time with him smh

She says "He's Protestant and not highly religious. He believes in God but doesn't go to Church. I would say he's traditional as well. I feel like he could be my future, I don't know. He's my first boyfriend and first everything."



May Allah (swt) guide her. If any of this is true

 

[Degmada waaberi]

One user said "Im Muslim too sweetie not sure what sect u are but what ur doing is haram in any sect of Islam.

1. Ur whole relationship is haram if he is a kafr
2. As Muslims we don't seek advice from the kuffar
3. Whatever u do it isnt gonna work bc ur outside of Islamic doctrine by doing any of this
4. Instead of being on LSA seeking advice u should go to the quran and the sunnah...
5. As Muslim women and the men we should keep our gaze lowered. If he is Muslim he should have reached ur wakil or wali.
Not judging over here at all. But as a Muslim its our duty to command the good and forbid the evil...remember ur goal is Jannah... If u seek pleasure in ur own desires which are directly disobedient to Allah... U are essentially trading the joys of the afterlife for this life...and we all kno this life is simply a trial.

Being with a kufr male will only lead u further outside of ur belief system sis...
And if u out here acting like the kuffar...u need to respect the sanctity of the hijab and remove it bc hijab is not simple wearing a kimar.its acting with modesty at all times.

If we are really being real here... No Muslim should be on this site at all bc its gossip which is a major sin but we all struggle with our respective sins.

U r being tested tremendously bc Allah loves u. The love of a man will never compare to the love Allah...nor does the wrath of Allah compare to any broken heart u will experience on this earth. Seek refuge in Allah sis...


May Allah make it easy on u. Ameen"

 

[ABG]

One user said "Im Muslim too sweetie not sure what sect u are but what ur doing is haram in any sect of Islam.

1. Ur whole relationship is haram if he is a kafr
2. As Muslims we don't seek advice from the kuffar
3. Whatever u do it isnt gonna work bc ur outside of Islamic doctrine by doing any of this
4. Instead of being on LSA seeking advice u should go to the quran and the sunnah...
5. As Muslim women and the men we should keep our gaze lowered. If he is Muslim he should have reached ur wakil or wali.
Not judging over here at all. But as a Muslim its our duty to command the good and forbid the evil...remember ur goal is Jannah... If u seek pleasure in ur own desires which are directly disobedient to Allah... U are essentially trading the joys of the afterlife for this life...and we all kno this life is simply a trial.

Being with a kufr male will only lead u further outside of ur belief system sis...
And if u out here acting like the kuffar...u need to respect the sanctity of the hijab and remove it bc hijab is not simple wearing a kimar.its acting with modesty at all times.

If we are really being real here... No Muslim should be on this site at all bc its gossip which is a major sin but we all struggle with our respective sins.

U r being tested tremendously bc Allah loves u. The love of a man will never compare to the love Allah...nor does the wrath of Allah compare to any broken heart u will experience on this earth. Seek refuge in Allah sis...


May Allah make it easy on u. Ameen"

The 2nd to last paragraph makes me feel guilty lol

 

[Degmada waaberi]

The 2nd to last paragraph makes me feel guilty lol

 

[Mehmet]

Hi LSA! I need advice on this situation that I have been in for the past year. I met my boyfriend over a year ago by random chance. To preface, I am incredibly shy and this young man approached me clearly knowing what my religion is. I wear a hijab and he still pursued me. And we have been together ever since.

He's Black American and I am a Black Muslim. We are from two different worlds. My problem is more so my culture. I come from a background that is insular and judgemental. My family has never met my boyfriend. I hate to say this, but I know I would be disowned if I ever brought him over.

In the early stages of our relationship we would go out to the mall and movies and literally the stares we would get from my people made me so incredibly anxious and nervous to the point of throwing up. Even my boyfriend was amazed and didn't understand why all these people were looking at us.

I had to explain to him the situation and he understands it now. He's ok but I am not. This is not a life to live. Where we can only be normal when I am at his house.

I love this man so much and want to be his wife. I know if this were reversed I wouldn't be ok with my man hiding me. But he is which kills my heart. I feel like I am wasting his youth and life. I am 21 and he's 24.

I spent last night with him in tears. You guys do not understand how ruthless and cold-hearted my people can be. The stares are horrible, but it's the judgment and evil things people say that get to me. My boyfriend said to me why don't you just take off the hijab then you can look like a regular Black girl. But it's not that easy. My faith is very important to me. And even without my hijab my people will still clock me.

Any advice?


https://www.lipstickalley.com/threa...om-the-world-and-its-been-killing-me.2453837/

I am black kullah the biggest lie told ever

 

[Degmada waaberi]

I am black kullah the biggest lie told ever

Bro waa qof maskaxda la ka qumeystay

 

[Mehmet]

Bro waa qof maskaxda la ka qumeystay

Sax and it is very tragic

 

[Degmada waaberi]

Sax and it is very tragic

I hope it's a troll

Lkn if it's real

 

[Mehmet]

I hope it's a troll

Lkn if it's real

Mostly a troll

 

[Crow]

Diaspora Somalis are finished. It is better for us all if she and those like her leave our communities and procreate with ajnabis.

 

[Tukraq]

smh

 

[Struggle]

I honestly feel bad for her she needs some guidance

Why'd you feel bad for some ? you guys need to stop wasting your time trying to redpill a roasty.

 

[Lostbox]

She should rent her own place

 

[Jaydaan]

An insecure hijabi who never had a boyfriend finally got some attention for the first time. He tell her sweet nothings and basically become low maintenance pussi for him. I mean aa long as he tells her how much he cares he has constant sex, she dont go anywhere with him because she cant be seen, so he spends no money on her and she sees him twice a week for sex while he can go about rest of his business. The guy has it perfect....he can have whole girlfriend on the side as this one is barely even part time. Offcourse he will tell her i will marry you...when we ready or I will convert for you to keep her happy. Hijabi xalimos like her who never interract with guys become easy targets as adults as they are naive as hell.

She will tell her family, her rep will go downhill and she will be known as the girl who chose a guy over her family and once he leaves her she will be the damaged one as she made all the sacrifice for him and he did nonr. With no family now she will seek men to fill the like of having anyone and her faith will be gone. She will be run through by guys who promise her things and be left over and over. This is a classic sheltered hijabi story thats been happening for ages. There is one on youtube who even left her religion for her first guy and threw the hijab. He is much older than her snd she refuse to say his actuall age but he is in his mid 30s and she is like 22

 

[Libaaxseendheer]

Thats the fate of western somalis . All one can do is watch from the bleachers and suffer the humiliation

 

[Jiron]

She’s young and doesn’t have the experience to deal with this situation properly. I hope to god she figures it out and does not harm her relationship with her family