Should i get married back home?

[Octavian]

Not every muslim has done zina you deviant. There are even white non muslim virgins.

thats a lie everybody sins some are are just better at hiding it then others

 

[Advokaten]

Just marry a top tier western xalimo. They aren't that hard to find.

Extremely few of them are open to even the slightest idea of relocating home. Also they are only somali to the name most of them. I want to raise my kids as culturally somali as possible

 

[psyche]

Unfortunately you are right and even though it pains me to say i am a hypocrite in a sense and a sinner on levels i dont think the almighty creator can even forgive, But i truly want to change and this im foremost mission in this life

Im not trying to make a excuse for myself but i was raised in swedish equivalent of projects, Was surrended by this type of faulty behavior i exhibited until recently. Im not leaving or want to only have sex with a virgin, That has no meaning, I only want to have a life much different then the one i grew up in, I dont want me kids to be like me either. Since i want to change i dnt think it is sound to marry a women who is not on the wavelength i am in. I want a women who is rock in a sense which will make me more controlling of my bad urges and thoughts when i see how she acts or behaves in a way, If i marry a more non traditional girl how will this work out.

It's commendable that you would admit your fault like that.

My advice is to be transparent with your past to any suitors. They have the right to know and I hope you can respect that.

 

[Samaalic Era]

So you never engaged in such things? Almost every young somali male or even culturally muslim has, What stopped you? Did you grew up in a more religious atmosphere or area?

Wont god be able to forgive me. Or has the ship sailed?

I never did Zina by the mercy of Allah swt and changed those around me who did commit zina and cut them off.

Bad company will lead you down such a path. Also repentance is open and Allah swt forgives but that doesn't mean you can escape its worldly consequences

 

[Advokaten]

It's commendable that you would admit your fault like that.

My advice is to be transparent with your past to any suitors. They have the right to know and I hope you can respect that.

Yes of course, That is a most. Im only afraid of them seeing down on me or possibly bringing such things up later in life

 

[Marcus]

Extremely few of them are open to even the slightest idea of relocating home. Also they are only somali to the name most of them. I want to raise my kids as culturally somali as possible

Who cares about that. A waaqist would call me Somali only in name because I behave and think like a westerner who's Muslim.

People adopt the culture they grow up in.

 

[psyche]

thats a lie everybody sins some are are just better at hiding it then others

As a virgin I've gotta disagree with this one.

When you grow up in a good environment or with good morals things like Zina never cross your mind.

 

[Advokaten]

Not every muslim has done zina you deviant. There are even white non muslim virgins.

I dont know where you live, But this is far from the truth in the diaspora these days, Younger dudes like me are so heavily westernised and seem to mostly relish upon the most negative aspects of western culture, thoughts and behaviour

 

[Marcus]

I dont know where you live, But this is far from the truth in the diaspora these days, Younger dudes like me are so heavily westernised and seem to mostly relish upon the most negative aspects of western culture, thoughts and behaviour

This is the case where you superimpose your behaviours on everyone else.

Stop the projection

 

[Octavian]

As a virgin I've gotta disagree with this one.

When you grow up in a good environment or with good morals things like Zina never cross your mind.

not according to reality

 

[Advokaten]

Who cares about that. A waaqist would call me Somali only in name because I behave and think like a westerner who's Muslim.

People adopt the culture they grow up in.

I do care about this because me culture is very important to me and i dislike westerness. My Grandfather had 18 kids 3 wives and fought in several clan wars, I see those type of men as the blueprint my or my children should emulate

 

[Marcus]

I do care about this because me culture is very important to me and i dislike westerness. My Grandfather had 18 kids 3 wives and fought in several clan wars, I see those type of men as the blueprint my or my children should emulate

If Somali culture had any value, they'd have developed by now.

 

[Advokaten]

This is the case where you superimpose your behaviours on everyone else.

Stop the projection

Of course big parts of the somali community does not do these things and there are plently of religous youths, Not kid ourselves and pretend like most somali youths dont engage in such behaviour, In a sense it is not really their fault since there heavily bombarded by such messages and emotionally manipulated in following it as well

 

[المهندس]

He said he's not religious, Zina is so grave that you will suffer its worldly price

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “O mankind! Beware of fornication/adultery for it entails six dire consequences: three of them relating to this world and three to the next world. As for the three that are related to this world, they are the following: it removes the glow of one’s face, brings poverty, and reduces the life-span. As for its dire consequences in the next world they are: it brings down the wrath of Allah upon the person, subjects him to terrible reckoning, and finally casts him in hell-fire” (Al-Bayhaqi).

He said he's not religious, Zina is so grave that you will suffer its worldly price

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “O mankind! Beware of fornication/adultery for it entails six dire consequences: three of them relating to this world and three to the next world. As for the three that are related to this world, they are the following: it removes the glow of one’s face, brings poverty, and reduces the life-span. As for its dire consequences in the next world they are: it brings down the wrath of Allah upon the person, subjects him to terrible reckoning, and finally casts him in hell-fire” (Al-Bayhaqi).

Read thread wrong sxb i thought he was struggling to practice.

 

[Advokaten]

Read thread wrong sxb i thought he was struggling to practice.

I mean barely religious in the sense of me being unable to fullfill what is wanted by me due to our religion

For me someone who is religous is a men who has fullfilled such things, Practicing almost all tenets of islam
Otherwise you are just pretending in my eyes, and this is what i feel like i am doing

 

[Marcus]

I mean barely religious in the sense of me being unable to fullfill what is wanted by me due to our religion

For me someone who is religous is a men who has fullfilled such things, Practicing almost all tenets of islam
Otherwise you are just pretending in my eyes, and this is what i feel like i am doing

Would you prioritise somalinimo over islam?

 

[Radical]

There are good and cultured women everywhere. you mentioned being 19, at that age morales and ambitions tend to shift every month, it may seem conclusive at first but I assure you, those desires won't stay permanent, that is why it's called a period of self-discovery

You should never make life changing decisions during these years as you'll always regret them 99% of the time, and leave sorrow trail of bitterness, depression and maybe a single mother

 

[Nak Muay]

I want to relocate permanently to somalia after the end of coronavirus. Find me a wife and have some children. I dont want to live this worthless decadent western type of life anymore, I want to have a wife a home a kid and something greater then money, weed and *****es to focus on. I already decided that i would move to somalia as young as 14 years old. Im in the works of expanding my business plans there as well so no financial problems i think. This is a very serious post and i serious and quite adamant on achieving this life which i would find fullfilling,

I dont find it fullfilling anymore to f*ck hos, I want a good wife with clear family values, I want to raise kids and have many. I dont find western lifestyle spiritually fullfilling anymore, Fuckin hos , hangin out with bros,smokin weed, discussing worthless and meaningless popular culture such things have lost its appeal to me gradually after my latest journey into somalia 2 months ago. I believe it biologically sound to create a family unit at my age which is 19. Their is greater shit then the worthlessness and despairing behaviour the west puts forward and claims to be happiness

The problem is while i believe this wholeheartedly im 19 and so obviously since im young my mind while have some second-thoughts about this , and im quite afraid to bound myself not in a sexual way since i can control myself easily. Im not fond of fuckin 3 hos who are quite disgusting persons when i have a pretty nice wife at homes whos never been touched by anyone else than me. I dont care if my wife is diaspora or local only if she agrees to live in somalia or other parts of africa but no chance in hell will i raise my kids or live in the western world, Im not particuraly religious truth to be told im barely religious but this shit has played with my mind it doesnt feel like it has any inherent meaning to it. What is the best way of finding a good wife with clear shoulders on her heads in Somalia, I have only talked or pursued ****ty or more decadent types of women, So i dont really know how to talk to a more traditional girl or pursue her, Thanks beforehand for the advice

A man's purity/sexual history isn't a deal break for the most part, as long as you're repentant. Some women will out-right reject you, but the vast majority wouldn't even bat an eye if you're a decent and upstanding man.

I'd be more concerned with making sure if this is something you truly want to go through with. If you change you mind for any reason after you're married, that decision could have a severely negative impact on that poor girl's life.

 

[Advokaten]

Would you prioritise somalinimo over islam?

I believe somalinimo should be at the forefront of our culture. And that we should not import arab behaviour unless it is religiously warranted.

 

[Advokaten]

I will never leave my child alone even if im broke hungry or if something else bad happens. I did a lot of haram things but i have morals and know right from wrong, And if things do not work between me or my childs mother i will still take care of her due to my child being in her womb. I know that a man has responsibilities and im not trying to run away from mine