(Reddit topic) why are Somali guys approach phobic ?

[livinlavish]

Or you could just not speak to anyone and keep your sanity. Marriages arent needed like that nowadays ive never understood marriage or even dating but maybe its because im asexual/aromantic

islamically i get it but ive seen too many divorces and niyad jab for me to even fathom it

You think your asexual but you aint. When you find the right one you will find out

 

[Shakespeare_aabihiis]

It’s not just a Somali male issue. Its a Gen Z issue across all developed countries.

My middle-aged ex-manager once asked me, “What’s going on with younger guys these days?”
I asked her what she meant.
She said that back in the 00s, she and her friends would only take their IDs and leave their wallet at home cause guys would fight to pay for their drinks and food. She couldn’t even take out the trash without getting approached.
Now, her niece(who she says is just as attractive) can go weeks without a single guy saying hi to her. And she and her friends pay for their own food/drinks 8/10.
She asked what changed. I didn’t want to risk saying too much and getting sent to HR, so I just told her “young men lack confidence now.”

Not saying most Gen Z males aren’t indeed bunch of sissies who are more into rating other men than approaching women. But honestly, 80% of the blame falls on women. Older women had their fun and messed things up for the younger ones.


As for Halimo, a lot of them walk around with a resting b1tch face, act very prude/brand new, and carry this fake kibir. Yea, no thank you.

Dating apps took any sort of actual interactions away. Most men and women go to dating apps if they want to date.

 

[El Nino]

We’re prude or we’re “easy desperate dhil0yin” . There’s no winning with these niggas

Guys out here forgetting we are conservative people, of course women should be prude and even little bit hostile if random men approach them.

 

[El Nino]

Back home, guys will get rejected hundreds of times and still keep going.

Thats what is missing from the west. Don’t be afraid, don’t care if you will be talken about in the community if you get rehected. Eventually you will succeed.

 

[Rayaale]

Read my other post. I’ve diagnosed the situation.

American and Canadian Somali men move incredibly different. They’re like night and day compared to UK lot and it’s the same for the women.

Doesn’t this affect the whole of the uk from almost every ethnicity, there’s something in the water over there

 

[Espaa_]

You think your asexual but you aint. When you find the right one you will find out

Nah im genuinely asexual and aromantic ive been questioning this for a long time but its genuinely what I feel. I have no sexual desires nor do I feel romantic attraction toward anyone.

with that being said it doesnt mean I dont want a husband it just means our relationship will be more platonic and more of a deeper friendship rather than a romantic relationship. A friend for life basically

 

[Rayaale]

Why don’t you guys approach each other, here in East Africa it’s common for both genders to interact with each other, some of my friends are females

 

[Keep it a boqol]

Why don’t you guys approach each other, here in East Africa it’s common for both genders to interact with each other, some of my friends are females

The western world is becoming more closed off, individualistic and shut in.

Everywhere in the world you see everyone chilling outside sipping coffee and talking. That’s dying out here everyone is too busy hustling or in their own world to talk to people.

Each generation is becoming worse then before.

 

[Abdirazaq]

Since when was it the norm for Somali men to randomly approach women?

Most marriages happen through some sort of connections with other people in the community, its not part of our Dhaqan to randomly apporch a women on the street or in some other setting. This idea of approaching random women came from modern liberal western culture and also directly contributes to things like Zina.

The sensible Somali man doesn't approach random women but instead talks to family/friends, elders in the community to see if there's options available, maybe if there's a women already in close proximity then he’ll approach her but that's a situation where the two are already familiar.

 

[iley]

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12 episode romcom anime right there

 

[FastBoat300]

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[Globglogabgalab]

The amount of videos online about this topic is crazy. It’s a whole genre on YouTube

 

[Globglogabgalab]

 

[TheManWhoIsAlive]

I'm going to keep it real. It's genuinely laziness for me. I'm successful and have my life in order. I just don't care enough about women to approach them. On my off days at work, the idea of spending a whole day dating a woman doesn't appeal to me. I'd rather chill at home, go for a walk or see if there's anything interesting to do.

My friend dragged me to a speed dating event once. I've found that most people in both genders are socially awkward. I've also been in a meetup event to learn code. Most women are responsive to energy. Show a lot of fun and positive energy and good vibes and if they don't have a lot of that, they tend to want to get to know you more. If they have enough of it, then they're more blasé about it.

The only relationship I think is serious is marriage. I don't see the appeal of getting a girlfriend. You're acting like you're married. You're wasting a lot of time on a person who probably just wants companionship but doesn't want commitment (both sides are guilty of this). 3-5 years past and of y'all broke up, then damn, you really just spent 3-5 with one person for no real reason other than companionship. It's low-key weird when you think about it.

The simple answer to the question is Islam, naturally. Traditionally, we're not supposed to just approach a woman. Of course, people nowadays prefer to get to know each other before tying the knot. I get that and probably agree that it's more sensible than way. But it's the sense of the religious stigma and the sense that men are to initiate that probably leaves both genders in our community rather annoyed about the whole thing.

That's how I see it anyway.