Real Talk- How to find the One - Give your tips

It is a question that everyone struggles to answer, but this is my take on it:

1. Fix your intention, because every action starts with intention

2.
You attract those who are at your own level in most cases. It is important to be honest with yourself. You can not expect a woman who uses the abaya and has memorized the Quran, when you struggle with Al-fathia and you not praying 5 times a day.
likewise, you can not expect a brother who is dalibul 'ilm when you do not offer anything in deen.
You get what you offer and of course all this is in the knowledge of Allah.

3.
If you are not able to attract the people you want, then take a break and improve yourself.
It does need to take long time, give yourself half a year maybe to change your circle of friends and environment.

4.
This point is important:
Find one in your local area. A person from a family you know. As human beings, we want to be in the best possible environment and circle of friends. If you are in a good environment, example mosque. Why will you look outside?

The most stable marriages I have seen is where families who know each other marry internally. By that I do not mean that you should know the women, but perhaps you know their uncle or brother. You have some knowledge of each other

5) Ask your brothers/friends.

One thing I love about Somalis is that they will help you. Those you know want Kheeyr for you, so do not be embarrassed to ask


6.
Make a lot of duca

7.
Ask if she can cook :).
If se say no, then you know what to do

Xalimos, Take out a note-book and write down my tips
 
niggas are here horny but can't do one night stands without feeling ashamed so they talk about marriage lool
 
It is a question that everyone struggles to answer, but this is my take on it:

1. Fix your intention, because every action starts with intention

2.
You attract those who are at your own level in most cases. It is important to be honest with yourself. You can not expect a woman who uses the abaya and has memorized the Quran, when you struggle with Al-fathia and you not praying 5 times a day.
likewise, you can not expect a brother who is dalibul 'ilm when you do not offer anything in deen.
You get what you offer and of course all this is in the knowledge of Allah.

3.
If you are not able to attract the people you want, then take a break and improve yourself.
It does need to take long time, give yourself half a year maybe to change your circle of friends and environment.

4.
This point is important:
Find one in your local area. A person from a family you know. As human beings, we want to be in the best possible environment and circle of friends. If you are in a good environment, example mosque. Why will you look outside?

The most stable marriages I have seen is where families who know each other marry internally. By that I do not mean that you should know the women, but perhaps you know their uncle or brother. You have some knowledge of each other

5) Ask your brothers/friends.

One thing I love about Somalis is that they will help you. Those you know want Kheeyr for you, so do not be embarrassed to ask


6.
Make a lot of duca

7.
Ask if she can cook :).
If se say no, then you know what to do
Xalimos, Take out a note-book and write down my tips




"Ask if she can cook".

Can you cook first of all? Or are you looking for something you are not?

Some of you just want surrogate mothers or maids and then you complain when your wife starts to hate you.
 
Please become the person you wish to marry.
Learn how to do the basics, cook, clean, laundry, be kind, gracious, find some interesting hobbies and always be willing to learn.

I am talking to men and women!


I encourage ladies to never marry a man who refuses to cook or clean because if you die in labour or due to sickness/disease, he won't be able to care for your babies. He may even dump your babies at other people's houses and they end up being molested/neglected!!!

The prophet Muhammed SAW did household chores whilst being a prophet, businessman etc, etc. Who are these worldly "males" to tell you they are too good or too "busy" to be productive at home.
 
Please become the person you wish to marry.
Learn how to do the basics, cook, clean, laundry, be kind, gracious, find some interesting hobbies and always be willing to learn.

I am talking to men and women!


I encourage ladies to never marry a man who refuses to cook or clean because if you die in labour or due to sickness/disease, he won't be able to care for your babies. He may even dump your babies at other people's houses and they end up being molested/neglected!!!

The prophet Muhammed SAW did household chores whilst being a prophet, businessman etc, etc. Who are these worldly "males" to tell you they are too good or too "busy" to be productive at home.
That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?
 
That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?

Sadly, it isn't.

When useless males lose their wives, they don't know how to cook, clean or take care of the children. Because they never bothered to learn how to be a functioning adult (are selfish/lazy).

So what do they do? They try to find a surrogate mother and if that's not possible, they literally dump the babies at homes of relatives who can take care of them.

It's happened to relatives of mine.
 
@Bronco

Have you never heard of children being raised by their aunts/grandparents? This is a very common issue in the world. There are many men who cannot or refuse to take care of their babies so if the mother dies/goes crazy/sick etc.. BYE BABIES



 
Sadly, it isn't.

When useless males lose their wives, they don't know how to cook, clean or take care of the children. Because they never bothered to learn how to be a functioning adult (are selfish/lazy).

So what do they do? They try to find a surrogate mother and if that's not possible, they literally dump the babies at homes of relatives who can take care of them.

It's happened to relatives of mine.
I am aware that the girl or the male's family is expected to help out heavily or in some cases completely take over. I think that's more to do with cultural practice and less so the literal inability to cook or clean.
 
I am aware that the girl or the male's family is expected to help out heavily or in some cases completely take over. I think that's more to do with cultural practice and less so the literal inability to cook or clean.

They use culture as an excuse. There are many Somali men with dignity who would never let someone else raise their babies. Obviously a single parent need help, but that should only be for babysitting whilst he is at work or he needs some time alone.

Shout out to all the good single-fathers/widows, may they be blessed with another wife that is as loving to their babies as they are.
 
They use culture as an excuse. There are many Somali men with dignity who would never let someone else raise their babies. Obviously a single parent need help, but that should only be for babysitting whilst he is at work or he needs some time alone.

Shout out to all the good single-fathers/widows, may they be blessed with another wife that is as loving to their babies as they are.
I disagree. I think what you're describing makes sense in the west. But it doesn't make sense in where the practice originated from. If I'm a single father I won't be able to hover over my child 24/7, but more importantly it's not good for the child. My childhood friend was in a position like that. His mother got ill and passed away while fleeing Somalia. They were stuck in Ethiopia for a few years and had him before she passed. He practically got raised by his father's sister and her 5 children. He was bang on in the middle and ate/slept/played with them. I remember his father would spend long hauls abroad trying to relocate and find work. Eventually he found a decent job on the other side of the country and room his kid. Eventually ended up coming back to his eedo's house within a year. He ended up staying 4-5 whole years up until his 16th when his father moved abroad and asked him to come with. He's 26 now and still lived with his dad, just them two.

In my opinion he came out much better thanks to the generosity of his aunt and her husband.

I'm not saying there aren't many, if not most, that would just dump that child as means of getting rid of them. I'm just saying the practice in itself absolutely as a worthwhile use case.
 
I disagree. I think what you're describing makes sense in the west. But it doesn't make sense in where the practice originated from. If I'm a single father I won't be able to hover over my child 24/7, but more importantly it's not good for the child. My childhood friend was in a position like that. His mother got ill and passed away while fleeing Somalia. They were stuck in Ethiopia for a few years and had him before she passed. He practically got raised by his father's sister and her 5 children. He was bang on in the middle and ate/slept/played with them. I remember his father would spend long hauls abroad trying to relocate and find work. Eventually he found a decent job on the other side of the country and room his kid. Eventually ended up coming back to his eedo's house within a year. He ended up staying 4-5 whole years up until his 16th when his father moved abroad and asked him to come with. He's 26 now and still lived with his dad, just them two.

In my opinion he came out much better thanks to the generosity of his aunt and her husband.

I'm not saying there aren't many, if not most, that would just dump that child as means of getting rid of them. I'm just saying the practice in itself absolutely as a worthwhile use case.


I get what you're saying, you're describing a man in financial hardship who needed to find stable work. Of course in that case, it's best to leave the child in the care of a sibling.

I am referring to men in stable employment, they have no excuse.
 

Calaf

Obergruppenführer in Command (OIC)
VIP
Or easier, ask Hoyo to set you up with a girl. Worst luck, go back home and ask a family member to set you up

Guessing its Mating season, cause this is the 4th thread in the past 24 hours i've seen on Mating.
 

Rastavelli-67

GEELJIRE FIRST
Why am I getting this strange feeling this sole purpose of this thread are for SSPOTTERS concealing their horniness ,
for the love of God , go seek out the one he/she are few miles of your area and not faraway .

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Imisa jeer baad ku celcelineysiin mowduucaan kkkkkk
 

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