Question...

[AdoonkaAlle]

@Omnya fyi this site hardly seems befitting to seek advice considering what goes on here

iska ilaali reer ss, intowda badan waa dad taagey !!!!!!!!

Be warned baan ku iri !!!!!!!!!!!

macsalam walaal

 

[Woozie Mu]

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Its better she sticks to her own and Im just being honest. Being Somali is passed down through the father and its always been that way so if she marries out then her children will be considered ajnabi. If they get taken to Somalia they will be bullied for life cause they are not seen as one of us and she will have to live the through that everyday depression. Also if that guy divorces her in the future, not only will she be stuck with ajnabi kids but she cant come back to the Somali community cause no Somali guy will want her. double the depression. Thats the best I advice for her

 

[Inquisitive_]

The problem is in the question itself., there are different levels to this Dayuusnimo game.

The worst form of Dayuusnimo is if you left your daughter to fend for herself of the streets and she brings a guy home regardless what race he is.

This happens 99% of the times today and it's not her fault, it's the fault of both parent but especially the father who is the shepherd.

Together they have a combined century of experience on their daughters, their primary role as shepherds was to guide their adolescent sheep flock the best way possible and prepare them for life.

This is why I hate when someone asks the insulting question whether I would let my daughter marry someone from a different ethnic background.

Because the question itself presumes dayuusnimo and that I would abandon my precious daughter to fend for herself off the streets as is the case today.

 

[Marquis]

I know but as Somalis we have double standards. This same girl has a brother that wants to marry a morrocan girl and her parents are okay with it.

I've honestly never come across this. All the strict Somali families I know have the same rule for both genders when it comes to marrying Somali. I sometimes feel like this is something that wass made up by Xalimos on social media for gender beefs.

Not accusing you of lying sister but just never came across this type of scenario, yet social media makes this seem common.

 

[Nomad2054]

marry whom ever you want go against your parents wishes, to hell with your community.

but, but, but, tomorrow when things dont turn out as you dreamed, have the courage to stand up straight and live with your head high , dont come around begging like a lost dog in desperate need of shelter.

 

[Omnya]

@Omnya
I’m not sure how long they’ve known each other but I know that is she’s very determined she wants to marry this guy. I think the best thing she can do is pray istikhara then inform her parents after.
Asalam Aleikum

Salaanta ka dib

It's a sticky situation tbh but the real reason why the parents are ok with their son marrying out is due to lineage, his children will carry his lineage and will be always be considered somali but with their daughter the children will not, as lineage is passed down through the father in islam. Lineage is one of the qualities that is sought after in marriage and in islam this is allowed.

Correct me if i'm wrong but it seems like the sister has been in touch with the revert brother for quite some time and is only deciding to inform her wali now after she vetted him herself,? enough time has gone by for her to develop feelings for this brother which further complicates this issue all together. Even if the sister had acted according to islam and informed her wali about the revert so as to let the wali do his job chances are he still would never accept him solely on his background never mind the issue with having non-muslim in laws etc


Only solution now is to go ahead and inform her wali about the brother and should they decide to reject him then best thing to do is move forward and forget this brother as it's only going to create more drama down the line tbh. I know it'll be hard but it's better than the alternatives out there

I just hope that she doesn't focus on her parent's rejection due to his lineage and say it's "haram/un-islamic" when she has interactions with a non mahram without the consent of her wali to begin with. Had she cared about what islam says then she wouldn't be talking to the revert brother in the first place, so how come rules didn't matter then but do now ?



We're all walking contradictions, best course of action is to focus on our's before we turn to others.

 

[Kodeen]

Follow your heart bby girl

 

[Omnya]

marry whom ever you want go against your parents wishes, to hell with your community.

but, but, but, tomorrow when things dont turn out as you dreamed, have the courage to stand up straight and live with your head high , dont come around begging like a lost dog in desperate need of shelter.

Nobody’s trying to marry nobody without their family’s consent.

 

[Omnya]

I've honestly never come across this. All the strict Somali families I know have the same rule for both genders when it comes to marrying Somali. I sometimes feel like this is something that wass made up by Xalimos on social media for gender beefs.

Not accusing you of lying sister but just never came across this type of scenario, yet social media makes this seem common.

Walahi I’ve seen it happen walalo.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

Moron, the parents have more authority over their child than the local imam. If they don't wish to marry their child to some stranger Ajnabi, it is their right as waalid. Dumb "muh ummah" fucks like you are the reason Somali females are considered cheap and clean. Handing out Somali females to ajnabi at mosques like popcorn at a fucking carnival.

So your telling me her parents have the Islamic right to deny a potential spouse based on their racist beliefs? that's haram.

I don't give a flying f*ck about this cheap and clean shit. A majority of people don't give a shit about this cheap and clean thing either.
Men and women should both be happy with who they want to marry.

You shouldn't be getting denied a spouse for stupid reasons like race.

 

[Kodeen]

Nobody’s trying to marry nobody without their family’s consent.

Don't let your family stop you from attaining happiness

 

[Shushue]

im diving into that pussy like Michael phelps.


But I seriously don't give a flying f*ck. I always considered marrying a non somali. Spoke to my parents about it before they wouldn't care. as long as the girl was Muslim they would be happy.

I’ve got some mix couple relatives not a big issue here

 

[Omnya]

So your telling me her parents have the Islamic right to deny a potential spouse based on their racist beliefs? that's haram.

I don't give a flying f*ck about this cheap and clean shit. A majority of people don't give a shit about this cheap and clean thing either.
Men and women should both be happy with who they want to marry.

You shouldn't be getting denied a spouse for stupid reasons like race.

I really don’t understand where people got this cheap and clean thing from. Like honestly that’s disrespectful. Not every Somali girl that marries a non is selling herself or is cheap.

 

[Omnya]

Don't let your family stop you from attaining happiness

its not me walalo. But I honestly wouldn’t marry a guy my parents are not happy with. Family is more important. Love comes and goes.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

I really don’t understand where people got this cheap and clean thing. Like honestly that’s disrespectful. Not every Somali girl that marries a non is selling herself or is cheap.

They only say that cause of mehr. Y'all are charging 10k + menr to somakli men. But what about Anjabi men?

Are they paying the same 10k that the Somali dudes had to pay?

 

[Omnya]

They only say that cause of mehr. Y'all are charging 10k + menr to somakli men. But what about Anjabi men?

Are they paying the same 10k that the Somali dudes had to pay?

She said he will pay the amount she asks for. I don’t know how true that is.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

its not me walalo. But I honestly wouldn’t marry a guy my parents are not happy with. Family is more important. Love comes and goes.

its really fucked up if your denied a spouse cause of race issues. Especially if you had a lot in common with the guy you were interested in.

If the guy was Muslim and had a nice well paying job than I don't see why parents would negative towards him.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

She said he will pay the amount she asks for. I don’t know how true that is.

tnis sight makes me wonder though if reverts are actually paying reduced and cheap mehr prices.

Most non Muslims don't even no about mehr. I told my friends about it once and they looked at me like .


They just tried to convice to marry a girl for free.99 like them.

None of them liked the idea of paying thousands of dollars for a chick

 

[guntiino101]

What's the ethnicity of the guy? I'm just curious

 

[Omnya]

What's the ethnicity of the guy? I'm just curious

He’s American Lebanese Syrian.