QUESTION FOR THE LADIES! What does a “submissive wife” mean to you and would you be one for your husband?

I like submissive guys. Something about a guy that wants to please you. I’d probably be submissive right back.
That's not a sub

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Whenever you see a thriving business/org/establishment there is always a clear leader.The leader works alongside their team. They guide, value opinions, appreciate and labour alongside everyone as they are generally a prime example of hardwork. Successful leaders tend to be the ones with the most responsibilities and in turn they would expect to be listened to. If there is no deference, the ship will sink.

We can't fully compare relationships to organizations, but every ship needs a competent captain and honestly that is what women want. The idea of being with a man that wants me to take the burden of leadership and being flipfloppy stresses me out. But what makes the idea of submission so difficult for a lot of women is that lazy, irresponsible men do not want to take the responsibility of leadership and submission but the privileges attached to it. That is clear cut exploitation. Bad leaderships in every venture causes collapse, but marriage seems to be the only institution that many silly men don't think this is true for.

They'll qoute hadiths and Ayahs about submission, but never the hadiths in which the Prophet would labour alongside his wives. Never the hadiths in which the Prophet would take advise from them. Whilst submission is natural for women, submitting to an irrational and irresponsible man is dangerous. You and your kids will go down a dark path, but constantly feeling the need to wear the trousers will also cause resentment as most women need to feel as though their husband is their rock.

Solution? Try to marry a loving man with competent leadership qualities, if you become unlucky, then seriously worry about the future of your happiness.
 
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Whenever you see a thriving business/org/establishment there is always a clear leader.The leader works alongside their team. They guide, value opinions, appreciate and labour alongside everyone as they are generally a prime example of hardwork. Successful leaders tend to be the ones with the most responsibilities and in turn they would expect to be listened to. If there is no deference, the ship will sink.

We can't fully compare relationships to organizations, but every ship needs a competent captain and honestly that is what women want. The idea of being with a man that wants me to take the burden of leadership and being flipfloppy stresses me out. But what makes the idea of submission so difficult for a lot of women is that lazy, irresponsible men do not want to take the responsibility of leadership and submission but the privileges attached to it. That is clear cut exploitation. Bad leaderships in every venture causes collapse, but marriage seems to be the only institution that many silly men don't think this is true for.

They'll qoute hadiths and Ayahs about submission, but never the hadiths in which the Prophet would labour alongside his wives. Never the hadiths in which the Prophet would take advise from them. Whilst submission is natural for women, submitting to an irrational and irresponsible man is dangerous. You and your kids will go down a dark path, but constantly feeling the need to wear the trousers will also cause resentment as most women need to feel as though their husband is their rock.

Solution? Try to marry a loving man with competent leadership qualities, if you become unlucky, then seriously worry about the future of your happiness.
All of what you said is true but the fact is many modern women want to be the leader whether their husband is a responsible man or not. Even if they marry a man who is strong and shows leadership qualities, they seem to take pleasure in challenging him.

Male and female dynamics in the West is not very balanced anymore. The wife is the boss of the house. This hasn't only affected Cadaans but is also now occurring in the diaspora. Only back home and in other similar traditional countries is it still how it was in the past.
 
All of what you said is true but the fact is many modern women want to be the leader whether their husband is a responsible man or not. Even if they marry a man who is strong and shows leadership qualities, they seem to take pleasure in challenging him.

Male and female dynamics in the West is not very balanced anymore. The wife is the boss of the house. This hasn't only affected Cadaans but is also now occurring in the diaspora. Only back home and in other similar traditional countries is it still how it was in the past.

I'd agree, but a lot of women of all backgrounds have been complaining of 'weaponised incompetence' look it up. Basically, its a phenomenon in which a husband acts useless in order to get out of doing things to help. After a while, that really does undermine a man's leadership, especially when you see many women babying their husbands. Its cute at first especially during the honeymoon phase. You know those wives that are like 'Oh my husband is soo messy.. I always have to pick up his socks and get him to put down the toilet seat! They laugh about it in the beginning, next thing you know they're nagging and treating him like a little boy. You see it quickly breeds resentfulness and then disrespect. Those women end up being bitter and wearing the pants.

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Men keep claiming they want a submissive wife but what does it truly mean? Fellas answer this as well
Great question. To be a submissive wife or in this case to be “truly” submissive is to want to help build the legacy of your man by being his peacekeeper, his ying to your yang. Every submissive wife should take care of the home, his needs, and raise the kids to become successful in the eyes of Allah and in this world. As a submissive wife you should obey every sharia compliant command of your husband. If he asks for a foot massage after work you should go the extra mile and give him a full body massage. I know some of this might sound far fetched but what is better than to make the one who you love smile.
 
Men keep claiming they want a submissive wife but what does it truly mean? Fellas answer this as well
the word submissive is like shes ur slave, and the words implications is like u enacting power over her, the same word is the word we use in our servitude to Allah which is to submit to him
Therefore i do not like the word submissive or submission as it indicates that I will be a king or oppresor or godly figure over my wife and she will be my slave and that is not a relationship between a man and women.
I don't know better word to use if I am honest, but In simple terms we want a women who is willing to sacrifice her ego and her own self in order for the better development of the relationship.
This is given that we as men put in the same work for the women for the better of relationship. The problem nowadays is when a man puts in work and his wife essentially sacrifices nothing except in her own self interest and for her own ego.
Men if I articulated this wrong pls correct me
 
It goes both ways so my husband I and are submissive to one another :hillarybiz:
thats literally impossible u do not even understand how basic english terms work, if one submits to someone the other person by definition cannot submit to the other person otherwise neither of them would be in submission
one must be on top and one must be on the bottom
 
Men keep claiming they want a submissive wife but what does it truly mean? Fellas answer this as well
A submissive wife to me would be someone who doesn't get to have her opinion listened to, is never given help other than financially by her husband, and overall just has a husband who treats her like a slave and not his wife. Which is the exact reason why I don't like the word "submissive". I personally would not want to be a submissive wife maybe because being in a marital relationship has rights and responsibilities that are really just as important as each other, and collaborating, consideration and co-operation in each other's responsibilities helps to make good role models for your kids and maintains a good family as well. Honestly, do men think that we would be happy if we just shut up and listened to them? The answer, if you didn't know, is absolutely not, and you would be required to pronounce your Talaq and leave me be, because trust me, no way am I trying to be in a marriage like that, nuh uh!
 

Hodan from HR

Be Kind Online.
Staff Member
the word submissive is like shes ur slave, and the words implications is like u enacting power over her, the same word is the word we use in our servitude to Allah which is to submit to him
Therefore i do not like the word submissive or submission as it indicates that I will be a king or oppresor or godly figure over my wife and she will be my slave and that is not a relationship between a man and women.
I don't know better word to use if I am honest,


This.
I only submit to God.

I don't know how to say this without offending some people but dominant/submissive relationship is a fancy way of people with narcissism and codependency coping imo. The narc is an egomaniac so they need a yes-person and codependant's adoration is borderline shirk.
 

Hodan from HR

Be Kind Online.
Staff Member
We are to seek a spouse whose company allows us to be better version of ourselves. A woman coddling you is not a compliment. She does so because she thinks you are emotionally fragile and incapable of taking a no.

Better question to the guys is, how many no's have you heard in your lifetime from people closest to you like family and friends to complete strangers.. Did it make you a lesser man?



I believe any man with intergrity will not want a kiss ass for a wife. Deep down, you know she is being fake and not her true self.
Afterall, no human is that perfect :)
 
The Prophet treated his wives like his friends and companions and were invested in them emotionally and physically. Take an example from him.
 
Male and female dynamics in the West is not very balanced anymore. The wife is the boss of the house. This hasn't only affected Cadaans but is also now occurring in the diaspora. Only back home and in other similar traditional countries is it still how it was in the past.

I don’t get it, the woman should be the boss of the house. That’s her Islamic duties btw
 
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