Qudba siro

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Usually thats the case the Guy cant afford meher or wedding expenses other times its because the Guy wont be allowed to marry her simply because of qabiil

Nah, its usually a guy trying to hide his second wife from his first wife. Its only haram if there is no witness and usually there is couple of uncles there who were payed well.

I'll say this tho, any girls who is ok being married in qudbo siro lacks any self worth. Its basicaly being a side chick.
 
@Mercury

Your confusing Misyar with the Shia Mutah, Misyar is basically the women reneging some of her rights (she is able to financially take care of herself) in order to get married to a man who is not "able" to financially look after her.

It's a complete sham in my opinion because it's Allah who provides and he has promised that the person who marries out of fear of falling into Zinnah for his sake, ALLAH makes it a right upon himself that he will assist them.

There is no sin or any rule forbidding a male from getting married because of poverty because as said before Allah provides, I seen in many cases were poor brothers who had nothing for much of their life's got everything once they got married, because they did so out of fear & to protect themselves from shamelessness following the sunnah end-to-end.

This is not to be confused by some among the youths that marry today who have already been dating for years illegitimately, set up extravagant haram shameless mixed weddings and start off on a wicked irreligious footing, such a marriage is bereft of any barakah and most of them end up in ruins unless sincere taubah was made.

Surah Nur Ayah 32
“Get the unmarried ones among you married, as well as the righteous slave men and slave women. If they are poor, Allah will make them independent by his grace”


“There are three types of people whom it is a right upon Allah to help and assist, The Mujahid in the path of Allah, The Mukatab [a slave paying for his freedom] who intends to pay and the one who makes nikah intending chastity”
(Sunan Tirmidhi, Hadith: 1655, Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith: 2518 – Declared sound (hasan) by Imam Tirmidhi and authentic (sahih) by Imam Ibn Hibban; Al Ihsan, Hadith: 4030)

 
It's very prevalent in Somalia but has anyone heard of anyone doing secret marriages in the West?

I have seen a few men that did this, most of these men wouldn't have done this in a patriarchal system, but in the current system we live in today that emasculates the males in order to destroy the social as well as family fabric, power has been handed to the women to take the males to the cleaners.

A lot of them are scared of this, many of them are useless to start with and don't deserve any better, useless men marry useless woman, which results in a dreadful life of perpetual turmoil and torments, to seek solace he has no choice but Qudba siro, so he isn't denied access to his children.

I know of fathers who have reformed and repented but lived turbulent life's with wicked wife's but were patient for more then a decade under a barrage of insults and public emasculation without seeking Qubo Siro, they waited patiently until all of their children grew up well beyond puberty & most of them got married.

They built themselves a nice little home in Somalia and married 16 year old's, they all as a result look decades younger with radiant faces, while that old hag began to develop all sorts of diseases through shock. what goes around comes around.

I spoke to a lot of those men who did this, or married second wife's (or had the desire to), in 90% of the cases it's because of the wretched physical condition of the women primarily obesity which physically repulses them but they were too cowardice to tackle this issue very early on which is their fault.

In 10% of the cases were obesity isn't an issue, it's emasculation and a lack of respect, contrary to popular opinion it has nothing to do with old age, this is a code word for "obesity" when used because no men will openly admit the truth.
 
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