So my sister is getting married this weekend and I'm officially not invited. She's marrying this Jamaican dude who recently reverted and that she met at work, and I kid you not - but she's paying for her own wedding. Thats what made me so pissed off. She's getting married not only to an ajnabi, she's getting married without a mehr, and is actually paying all her wedding expenses out of her own pocket.
I tried to stop this madness. But my hooyo seems desperate to send her daughter off since she's getting too old, and seems to be more concerned with sending her daughter off to any man thats willing to marry her. My abo passed away three years ago of diabetes, his last words was to look out for my sisters.
I'm conflicted because on the one hand I don't want to make her wedding about me, and my feelings. Its her big day, and truthfully I don't have anything against the Jamaican dude. My only issue is how fast everything has transpired with virtually no checks and balances, how she's financing her own big day all by herself with absolutely no contributions from the guy who's suppose to be paying. Is mehr a Somali-only thing?
Anyways, me and my sister had an argument today about driving her to town to get her fitting done. I had plans with my boys and didn't anything to do with her pre-festivities so I digressed. She went on telling me how I'm not a decent brother and how she doesn't even want me to come to her wedding. I fell silent in total fustration. Did she think proper brotherly conduct meant bending the knee and dancing playfully along with everything she wants to do in life, even if its rational? Why do our women blame us for being to protective over them and when we don't we're also blamed for being enablers of gender based violence against them.
In short, I really miss my Abo. And my sister's wedding is fast approaching. I don't have an outfit either cause I really haven't been planning to go.
I tried to stop this madness. But my hooyo seems desperate to send her daughter off since she's getting too old, and seems to be more concerned with sending her daughter off to any man thats willing to marry her. My abo passed away three years ago of diabetes, his last words was to look out for my sisters.
I'm conflicted because on the one hand I don't want to make her wedding about me, and my feelings. Its her big day, and truthfully I don't have anything against the Jamaican dude. My only issue is how fast everything has transpired with virtually no checks and balances, how she's financing her own big day all by herself with absolutely no contributions from the guy who's suppose to be paying. Is mehr a Somali-only thing?
Anyways, me and my sister had an argument today about driving her to town to get her fitting done. I had plans with my boys and didn't anything to do with her pre-festivities so I digressed. She went on telling me how I'm not a decent brother and how she doesn't even want me to come to her wedding. I fell silent in total fustration. Did she think proper brotherly conduct meant bending the knee and dancing playfully along with everything she wants to do in life, even if its rational? Why do our women blame us for being to protective over them and when we don't we're also blamed for being enablers of gender based violence against them.
In short, I really miss my Abo. And my sister's wedding is fast approaching. I don't have an outfit either cause I really haven't been planning to go.
