My friend has shown no sadness that his father died and he didn't tell me

Discussion in 'General' started by SOMALIKNIGHT, Nov 8, 2019.

  1. SOMALIKNIGHT

    SOMALIKNIGHT

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    Me and my friend were walking outside the masjid and someone came up to him (I think he was part of his qabiil) saying AUN to his father who passed away last month in Somalia. I was in a state of shock. He didn't tell me. When he left I asked him why did he hide this information from me? He replied he hasn't seen his father since he was 12 or 13 years old and that he is not sad or happy about his death because he never visited the family or spoke to them which I am always suspicious of if a family alleges this. He changed the topic to football.

    How can you not care about your father? I need to be careful who I befriend wallahi imagine my son treated me this way
     
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  2. Jaydaan

    Jaydaan

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    Some people are just damaged. Stay away from him
     
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  3. Siddhartha

    Siddhartha

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    He hasn't seen his father since he was a child. He's a stranger to him.
     
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  4. kickz

    kickz Engineer of Qandala

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    I would leave it alone, people deal with things differently.
     
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  5. RasCanjero

    RasCanjero

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    Would you feel sad for the passing of a stranger?

    If you aren't in your kid's lives then they don't own you shit.
     
  6. IstarZ

    IstarZ Be a mountain or lean on one

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    Why do you think he has an obligation to tell you? Death is personal and people grieve in different ways. I don’t see why you’re making this about yourself. He hasn’t seen his father since he was 12 so the man is practically a stranger to him. He is probably going thru different emotions and doesn’t even know how to feel.
     
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  7. NotMyL

    NotMyL "You are your best thing"

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    People grieve differently, you don’t know what he’s like when he’s a lone. Also maybe it’s a sensitive topic if the man wasn’t in his life?
     
  8. Knowles

    Knowles Staff Member Moderator

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    I think your post tells us exactly why he never told you.
     
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  9. SOMALIKNIGHT

    SOMALIKNIGHT

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    Are you still unmarried with no children?
     
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  10. Dharbash

    Dharbash

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    Don’t bring it up to him again, this will only cause annoyance to him. He’s probably dealing with this loss in a different way.

    I remember when my dads mum passed away he was completely unphased (in public) when the whole community found out (mind you it has been over 20 years since he saw her) but that week for him was completely depressing and he couldn’t eat or do anything.

    Seeing a family member like that who you always regarded as one of the strongest people in your life hurts more than anything.

    In Sha Allah, your friend is coping well now.
     
  11. SilverL

    SilverL Unprofessional Therapist

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    @SOULSEARCHING this is your male counterpart I was telling you about. You guys have the exact same kind of stories down to the writing styles and angry tone :browtf:
     
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  12. Basra

    Basra Like Donald Trump, I like to be Spanked. VIP

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    You are a girl right? Why are u going to the Masjid & more importantly WHY are talking about football???????????????
     
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  13. Somalihustler

    Somalihustler

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    You can't judge him, everyone does not have good/great fathers alot of fathers are absent too...think about it...this guy and his mum/family might have had gone through lot of difficulties, life circumstances, health issues etc on their own! Or he may have not come to terms with reality yet or maybe his father hadn't done anything for him or shown him fatherhood so he might be numb due to disappointment from his dad, we don't know only Allah SWT knows, like he said he is not happy or sad! Let people grieve in their own way and do your job by helping your friend in grieve in their hour of need!
     
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  14. Somalihustler

    Somalihustler

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    AUN your grandparent...I can relate doesn't matter if you haven't seen your parent in a long time or weren't raised by them it still affects you in someway good or bad AUN to all muslims ameen
     
  15. laila

    laila

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    Rather than shunning him. Try to understand or figure out why he’s reacting like this.
    Your friend grew up, transformed, transitioned, made decision, had bad days , good days without his father. maybe they haven’t had a relationship.
    like plants, we need to tend to our relationships to flourish. Otherwise it will whither away.
     
  16. Crow

    Crow Make Hobyo Great Again

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    :ooh:
    No naxariis. He just went straight for the throat.
    :damn:
     
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  17. Nomoregames2019

    Nomoregames2019

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    Ahhh, look here we have another holier than thou immortally blind loving your parent's moron. Why do people expect other people to love their father or mother after they've been wronged for so long?

    Why should he mourn after his father left him and his mother, and he has no relationship with his father's side which isn't his fault at all.

    His father was never in his life so he is entitled to react in any manner he wants. How about you try and be a better friend and mind your own business.

    Stop with this ''oh, but regardless of what they did, they're still your father or mother at the end of the day BS'' if my father walked out on me and I wasn't in contact with him for so long and I heard about his passing, I wouldn't even attend his funeral let alone cry or mourn his death.
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2019
  18. Halimo-2018

    Halimo-2018

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    How do you know he doesnt cry in his sleep at night? You dont seem like a good friend. You're victim blaming.
     
  19. SOULSEARCHING

    SOULSEARCHING

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    There's so many like me in here, it's crazy :ftw9nwa:
     
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  20. Mehmet

    Mehmet

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    Lmfao yes they are and even worse too
     
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