Marriage tips for the brothers

[Dualke]

My abti cooks for his family and my other abtis make fun of him lmao. If you're doing house duties as a man other men will call you a housewife

Does his wife work?

 

[Abdisamad]

Sxb, how do you think Western young married Somalis should divide duties? Most likely the man and woman are both working. Do you think it should be 50/50 or 70/30 naag/nin? Most likely, the woman will know how to cook since she's probably done this for her family

Im interestd in hearing your point of view

Cooking and cleaning is not even that difficult especially if you plan or schedule the tasks in a systematic manner.

 

[En_Sabah Nur]

Sxb, how do you think Western young married Somalis should divide duties? Most likely the man and woman are both working. Do you think it should be 50/50 or 70/30 naag/nin? Most likely, the woman will know how to cook since she's probably done this for her family

Im interestd in hearing your point of view

My view is based on diinta and our culture which says it’s a woman’s job to cook, clean and take care of the kids and home. There are certain duties a man can do maybe like taking out trash, changing light bulb,grocery shopping etc. but cooking cleaning and rearing the kids is the woman’s duties

 

[Wervelwind]

Does his wife work?

Yes I think he cooks when she's working

 

[Wervelwind]

My view is based on diinta and our culture which says it’s a woman’s job to cook, clean and take care of the kids and home. There are certain duties a man can do maybe like taking out trash, changing light bulb,grocery shopping etc. but cooking cleaning and rearing the kids is the woman’s duties

From your personal experience, how do married Somalis you know live? Both young and old couples

 

[Dualke]

Yes I think he cooks when she's working

Does he work as well? Seems like he's getting cucked I'd make fun of him too if that was my brother

 

[Wervelwind]

Does he work as well? Seems like he's getting cucked I'd make fun of him too if that was my brother

He works as well. But I'm not sure who works more between them

 

[En_Sabah Nur]

From your personal experience, how do married Somalis you know live? Both young and old couples

Same as me. Both man and woman work. But the woman does the house work. I also have a side job driving Uber. My wife pays half the rent, but I pay everything else. I think that’s reasonable and fair

 

[Angelina]

My view is based on diinta and our culture which says it’s a woman’s job to cook, clean and take care of the kids and home. There are certain duties a man can do maybe like taking out trash, changing light bulb,grocery shopping etc. but cooking cleaning and rearing the kids is the woman’s duties

Lets not bring diinta into this, when the deen is very clear that a man has to fully provide, yet in the Shafi school of thought women cooking and cleaning isn't even seen as a religious obligation, but something that is good for her to do.

 

[Wervelwind]

Same as me. Both man and woman work. But the woman does the house work. I also have a side job driving Uber. My wife pays half the rent, but I pay everything else. I think that’s reasonable and fair

Wife is making hella bank if she's only paying half rent

 

[En_Sabah Nur]

Wife is making hella bank if she's only paying half rent

Yup. If I’m paying mehr and working two jobs, the least a woman can do is the housework and accept her husbands request not to see certain toxic friends and limit interaction with toxic family members. Very reasonable

 

[Bundasliga]

My view is based on diinta and our culture which says it’s a woman’s job to cook, clean and take care of the kids and home. There are certain duties a man can do maybe like taking out trash, changing light bulb,grocery shopping etc. but cooking cleaning and rearing the kids is the woman’s duties

Changing the light bulb kulaha

 

[BobSmoke]

If you know your woman can be influenced that easily by others, why make her yours?
But that's besides the point.

The real question is Why are you getting married as a remedy to loneliness?
But then again, who am I to speak? I've been single for too long

 

[Amk]

If you know your woman can be influenced that easily by others, why make her yours?
But that's besides the point.

The real question is Why are you getting married as a remedy to loneliness?
But then again, who am I to speak? I've been single for too long

every woman can be easily influenced and so can men
Abu Musa reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, the parable of good company and a bad company is only that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith. The seller of musk will give you some perfume, you will buy some, or you will notice a good smell. As for the blacksmith, he will burn your clothes or you will notice a bad smell.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5534, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2628

 

[Sophisticate]

If you know your woman can be influenced that easily by others, why make her yours?
But that's besides the point.

The real question is Why are you getting married as a remedy to loneliness?
But then again, who am I to speak? I've been single for too long

Exactly. Who takes kindly to someone who forbids their association with someone as though they are a 'disobedient child' and not an adult capable of making their own decisions and exercising discernment. I question those who try to isolate you from friends/family.

 

[Amk]

Exactly. Who takes kindly to someone who forbids their association with someone as though they are a 'disobedient child' and not an adult capable of making their own decisions and exercising discernment. I question those who try to isolate you from friends/family.

Im ngl alot of womens friends have broken up marriages.
Key example, my parents split bc of my mums friend giving her bad advice, then I had to recieve the consequences of living with a single mother for most of my life.
A women should make sure her husbands friends are not giving him bad advice and vice versa,
alot of women give bad advice nowadays.
I will assume that in en_sabah_nurs envirement the woman are not good influences, therefore his statement being justified, A majority of woman donot have good muslim friends despite wat u might think. U shouldnt just disregard his statement as if its stupid, Insan are very easy manipulated by their envirement, if u hang out with non-muslims all day u are bound to be effected by it whether u like it or not, if a womans friends are not a good influence then u shouldnt let her hang out with them.
Also friends are not a requirement of life

 

[BobSmoke]

Exactly. Who takes kindly to someone who forbids their association with someone as though they are a 'disobedient child' and not an adult capable of making their own decisions and exercising discernment. I question those who try to isolate you from friends/family.

Some guys may wanna isolate their girls but there's far more guys merely advicing because they can see her friends snakey ways that isnt blinded by shared history with her friends.

I'm all about looking for the objective truth in anything. If my woman lets me know a friend of mine got snakey ways, I'mma look for the truth of it, but I won't reject just cause my ego felt some type of way.

But if its all about control, clashing egos and just stubbornness from both genders like how most people be, I can't speak on that.

If I keep breaking shit down to my woman in a sensible tone and manner, and yet she keeps going against the grain just for the sake of it, I'mma refunding her back to her father's place with kindness n gentleness.

 

[Angelina]

Im ngl alot of womens friends have broken up marriages.
Key example, my parents split bc of my mums friend giving her bad advice, then I had to recieve the consequences of living with a single mother for most of my life.
A women should make sure her husbands friends are not giving him bad advice and vice versa,
alot of women give bad advice nowadays.
I will assume that in en_sabah_nurs envirement the woman are not good influences, therefore his statement being justified, A majority of woman donot have good muslim friends despite wat u might think. U shouldnt just disregard his statement as if its stupid, Insan are very easy manipulated by their envirement, if u hang out with non-muslims all day u are bound to be effected by it whether u like it or not, if a womans friends are not a good influence then u shouldnt let her hang out with them.
Also friends are not a requirement of life

Yes and its the same for men, yet a lot of men never consider how their friendships ruin their marriage or mindset. Look how many are called whipped, simp and are given xaasid advice by men which drives a wedge between men and women? People male or female are given bad advice at times, your own blood parents can give you not so great advice at times. Does that mean people shouldn't have family?

Also, what proof did you have that your parents split because of your mum's friend? Men love to blame the 'friend' despite mistreating their other half and once that person leaves all of a sudden the woman's family and friends are the bad guy. I literally know a man who used to hit his wife and no kidding when she left, he was like its because of her friends! Authobillah.

 

[Amk]

You

Yes and its the same for men, yet a lot of men never consider how their friendships ruin their marriage or mindset. Look how many are called whipped, simp and are given xaasid advice by men which drives a wedge between men and women? People male or female are given bad advice at times, your own blood parents can give you not so great advice at times. Does that mean people shouldn't have family?

Also, what proof did you have that your parents split because of your mum's friend? Men love to blame the 'friend' despite mistreating their other half and once that person leaves all of a sudden the woman's family and friends are the bad guy. I literally know a man who used to hit his wife and no kidding when she left, he was like its because of her friends! Authobillah.

My parents told me. It wasnt the only reason, but it was a part of the reason.

I said it works for both men and women.
If men have bad friends then that man shouldnt have those friends, if he cant find good friends then he should have no friends.
Sabah is wrong about family part cos u cant break ties with family

 

[Angelina]

My parents told me. It wasnt the only reason, but it was a part of the reason.

I said it works for both men and women.
If men have bad friends then that man shouldnt have those friends, if he cant find good friends then he should have no friends.
Sabah is wrong about family part cos u cant break ties with family

So your hooyo told you that her friend split her marriage or it was your abo?