Ladies, you do not think us blokes should react?

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

That could have been her husband though, what made you think he was just a bf?

You are right, they could have been, but my initial instinct, and o erall point, was still spot on. Or so I think.

 

[OhMan]

For the record, I know Somali ladies married to ajnabi: one married to a caddaan living on a nice farm just outside of Madison; they grow organic produce, with a bee farm, their honey being one of the best, a lovely couple; another married to a gentleman from Trinadad, I think, a lawyer, again a lovely couple.

Breh what do you want us to do with this information
What even is this thread?

 

[Odious Delirium]

Quite frankly using that word makes it seem as if they own the women of their ethnicity and the women owe the men something. They don't, please stop using this word.

Oh my bad I didn't make myself clear. I think doing what he did for anyone somali or not is kind of cucked. Why would anyone pay for a strangers date
A friend or a relative is understandable but a random person????

Somalis helping and doing favours for somalis in need is normal and I support that.
However that isn't at all what happened here. She didn't ask him to help her pay for her date. Neither did she need it. He went out of his way to pay.

I'm just calling out the behaviour because that's what it is

 

[Dualke]

6/10. Too many commas and not enough character development.

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

Breh what do you want us to do with this information
What even is this thread?

I was making the point that I am not against ladies marrying ajnabi per se, but have to be selective in their choices, and not sell themselves short.

6/10. Too many commas and not enough character development.

See if you could elaborate, mate.

 

[Waa dhamatay]

What would you do if you saw a xalimo with a BBC?

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

But why would you beat them up that's wild let them live there own life. its still there own choice at the end of the day no point involving ones self in strangers private affairs just because there somali

I must admit, it would be tougher, say in MN, where there are so many Somalis, some doing all the sorts of wrong, but in our case, our elders incl. cousins, uncles etc., did the same. So did the Bangoli, and Indians. I am sure things have changed in East London since then, as I no longer recognise it whenever I visit.

I'm sure those beating did nothing but make those girls hate abdis even more. Where you guys beating up the girls or the ajnabi they where with?

Actually, it is an old Somali kindred tradition, possibly lost on the 20s crowd, where when you meet with other Somalis in a restaurant, whomever gets to the counter, at first, pays for the rest. Have you not ever done so yourself? or been with your elders at a restaurant? Or were you brought up by wolves?

Anyways this all sound fake but if its true why would you pay for a random halimos haram date?

See, in this instance, you are only Somali in name, and not in culture.

You basically voluntarily cucked yourself
and there is no way you guys where going around beating people up for being seen with ajnabis

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

What would you do if you saw a xalimo with a BBC?

Bloody toerag. Now, or then?

Then, I would probably take a Jumbia, and disembowel myself.

 

[Yaraye]

'It is all right darling, enjoy life, you could do better though'.

Was I wrong in saying so?
Remember, no malice on my part, but naturally I have got no filter, and shall say that which no one else shall.

Backdrop:
I was having dinner with an old mate at a Pakistani restaurant, in Devon Ave., Chicago (this is mini Southall for those of you in London), and seated not far away was a young couple, a Somali lady, as I later learnt, with a young caddaan man. She glanced at our direction a couple of times, with that being the clue she indeed was Somali. I popped over to their table, with a smile, introduced myself, said the regular pleasantries, and returned to my mates. Of course, my bloody accent become a topical conversation, as usually happens in the US.

She was a class act, vivacious, stylish, with excellent mannerisms etc., whereas, in my mind's eye, he was well below par. I did not say it aloud then, but was enraged thinking, she could do so much be^tter.

Long story short, we finished before them, so I settled their bill, sort of my xaq al Eid to her.

She came over, thanked me, gave me a hug (I am not a hugger), and said she was a bit frightened when she first saw me thinking I would be nasty to her for being out with an ajnabi.

I said jokingly 'It is all right darling, enjoy life, you could do better though'.

I shared the encounter with my cousin, needless to say, she was livid.

Was I wrong in saying so?
Remember, no malice on my part, but naturally I have got no filter, and shall say that which no one else shall.

Ladies, please, if you must, do upgrade.

I also don't understand marrying/dating down. I've had people tell me that a man character/deen is the most/only important. Granted that it is, his class/ lifestyle/ money is important too

Postscript:
This I consider quite an improvement, for in my younger days, if we saw a Somali lady out with an ajnabi, or even showing interest, at best, we would have a strong word in her good ear, or at worse, beat the hell out of her. We did not even have to know her. This flows from the notion, rightly or not, that our ladies could be a bit naive, and could be taken advantage of. Or so we think.

Tf?! I've heard beating up the ajinabi man but never the somali girl. That's f*cked up if you don't want a girl dating an ajinabi, beat the guy up

 

[Odious Delirium]

Actually, it is an old Somali kindred tradition, possibly lost on the 20s crowd, where when you meet with other Somalis in a restaurant, whomever gets to the counter, at first, pays for the rest. Have you not ever done so yourself? or been with your elders at a restaurant? Or were you brought up by wolves?

See, in this instance, you are only Somali in name, and not in culture.

No I understand that but I wouldn't do that in the case of someone doing something suspect or haram. You described her as if she felt guilty upon noticing you meaning that perhaps that wasn't her husband but a random guy she went on a date with based off what you said.
I'm not gonna pay for someone's haram date.

If you saw a somali order alcohol in a restaurant would you pay for it on there behalf aswell?
Supporting haram openly definitely ain't a part of somali culture and tradition.

 

[Yaraye]

No I understand that but I wouldn't do that in the case of someone doing something suspect or haram. You described her as if she felt guilty upon noticing you meaning that perhaps that wasn't her husband but a random guy she went on a date with based off what you said.
I'm not gonna pay for someone's haram date.

If you saw a somali order alcohol in a restaurant would you pay for it on there behalf?
Support haram openly definitely ain't a part of somali culture and tradition.

I must admit, it would be tougher, say in MN, where there are so many Somalis, some doing all the sorts of wrong, but in our case, our elders incl. cousins, uncles etc., did the same. So did the Bangoli, and Indians. I am sure things have changed in East London since then, as I no longer recognise it whenever I visit.


Actually, it is an old Somali kindred tradition, possibly lost on the 20s crowd, where when you meet with other Somalis in a restaurant, whomever gets to the counter, at first, pays for the rest. Have you not ever done so yourself? or been with your elders at a restaurant? Or were you brought up by wolves?



See, in this instance, you are only Somali in name, and not in culture.

@Javelin you're quite westernized. I've definitely had somali men pay my food/snacks for me, just based on the fact that I'm a somali woman. I've always appreciated that gesture. like
@𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈 said It's not about haram or even religion, its just about a fellow country man/ country woman

 

[Odious Delirium]

@Yaraye why you mehing me

Would you pay the tab for an abdi out on a haram date with an ajnabi because of somalinimo?

You think that's a part of our tradition and culture

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

I also don't understand marrying/dating down. I've had people tell me that a man character/deen is the most/only important. Granted that it is, his class/ lifestyle/ money is important too

Tf?! I've heard beating up the ajinabi man but never the somali girl. That's f*cked up if you don't want a girl dating an ajinabi, beat the guy up

Well, that goes without saying, if we could, there were cases, where we could not, for example a lady, working at the Bayswater Odean, being too cozy with a short, ugly Ghanaian, who was built like a bloody bull, and much older than us. We still had a word with him to stay well away from her, but we had more affinity with her, influence over her, as she was one of our own.

 

[Odious Delirium]

@Javelin you're quite westernized. I've definitely had somali men pay my food/snacks for me, just based on the fact that I'm a somali woman. I've always appreciated that gesture. like
@𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈 said It's not about haram or even religion, its just about a fellow country man/ country woman

I don't have a problem with helping somalis. I do it all the time because there fellow somalis.

What I don't do is help when they are doing something suspect or haram. I'm not gonna help somalis buy vapes and dumb stuff like that. Your basically endorsing there behavior. I don't help out when it comes to things I don't support islamically when I see my fellow country men and women engaged in it.

As for when I see somalis in compromised situations I try my best to help but some people simply don't want to be saved especially in our gen.

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

I agree, they could have been married, and I could have been wrong, but the fact that she was too classy for that plonker got my goat, mate. Call it my inner nomad, or my youth surfacing.

No I understand that but I wouldn't do that in the case of someone doing something suspect or haram. You described her as if she felt guilty upon noticing you meaning that perhaps that wasn't her husband but a random guy she went on a date with based off what you said.
I'm not gonna pay for someone's haram date.

I have done so in the past, Allah may forgive me. I have a simple rule: if you are a Somali, in need of help, I shall come to your aid, and if you are doing something wrong, I shall try to help you out of it. That is how I was brought up.

If you saw a somali order alcohol in a restaurant would you pay for it on there behalf aswell?

Supporting haram openly definitely ain't a part of somali culture and tradition.

 

[Yaraye]

She didn't ask him to help her pay for her date. Neither did she need it. He went out of his way to pay.

@Yaraye why you mehing me

Would you pay the tab for an abdi out on a haram date with an ajnabi because of somalinimo?

You think that's a part of our tradition and culture

This is why I'm mehing you. If you don't want to go out of your way to pay that's fine. Why discourage someone else from doing so or make it seem werid?

 

[Bari🐍]

Man, you British people talk funny.

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

I notice young men in their late teens, and 20s have no Somali culture lacking in more ways than not. No wonder they are always slugging off their ladies online. Bloody fule, the lot of them.

 

[Yaraye]

I don't have a problem with helping somalis. I do it all the time because there fellow somalis.

What I don't do is help when they are doing something suspect or haram. I'm not gonna help somalis buy vapes and dumb stuff like that. Your basically endorsing there behavior. I don't help out when it comes to things I don't support islamically when I see my fellow country men and women engaged in it.

As for when I see somalis in compromised situations I try my best to help but some people simply don't want to be saved especially in our gen.

I'm not endorsing anything. I'm just talking about the somali older men culture. They pay Just on the fact of being somali. They aren't even thinking about haram/religion. I've never said to endorse haram

 

[Odious Delirium]

I agree, they could have been married, and I could have been wrong, but the fact that she was too classy for that plonker got my goat, mate. Call it my inner nomad, or my youth surfacing.


I have done so in the past, Allah may forgive me. I have a simple rule: if you are a Somali, in need of help, I shall come to your aid, and if you are doing something wrong, I shall try to help you out of it. That is how I was brought up.

I understand generally that's how we were all brought up hopefully
but I personally dont support somalis in doing haram because then your basically participating in that sin with them by facilitating it with your money or help when you knowingly do it.

If I knew for example my mate wanted to go on a haram date and he asked me for money to make it happen I wouldn't give him based on principle as opposed to if he just asked me to give him money.