kinship in Islam my problem.

Discussion in 'Religion' started by sigmund, Sep 18, 2018.

  1. sigmund

    sigmund sigmood VIP

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    in Islam as you are aware breaking ties with relatives is a major sin that puts you in Allah curse however with me I did not break ties with anyone is just that with my relatives despite being in civil terms we aren't close at all I spoke to them on the fone over a year ago and last saw them in 2014 as it was one of my cousins wedding I am a socially awkward person and me visiting will make things even more uncomfortable for me do you think keeping contact through phone calls is sufficient? I am a practicing muslim and don't want to be cursed by Allah simply because we aren't close with each other and im not vising my relatives despite me having nothing but love for them im scared all my deeds will go to waste because of this any help would be appreciative
     
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  2. gurey

    gurey

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    Sigmun its a problem for me too. I think you should go and it wouldnt be awkward unless words were exchanged in anger.
     
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  3. sigmund

    sigmund sigmood VIP

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    oh I'm not the only one huh. You don't understand how awkward is going to be my mom promised she doesn't want to have anything to do with them since she isn't their blood I have no problem visiting them but who can I go with? my siblings are not religious and don't care to call them or visit them and as I said in socially awkward to visit them unless I have my mom or sisters with me and the girls who are my cousin are all similar age to me so I have to even put more pressure in engaging with them if i was to visit not to mention one of them have birth and I didn't really know till the aunt told my mom over the fone you see how awkward things will be
     
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  4. Kodeen

    Kodeen Guledinho

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    Same. I'm really bad though tbh. I have family living an hour away I haven't seen or literally spoken to in almost 9 years. My uncle who named me had twins 'recently' and my mum sent me a pic of them the other day enjoying their 4th birthday already. I have never seen them in person or even heard their voice.

    :meleshame:
     
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  5. gurey

    gurey

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    Its probably the best time to go now since their has been a birth. Plus your aunty will be very pleased. In my opinion you should contact your aunty and say you will come to visit and she will inform the rest of the family. Waa lagu casumaa
     
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  6. sigmund

    sigmund sigmood VIP

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    I know bro I would love visit them but there is literally no one to go with my mom forbade herself and my siblings don't care for them nor do they want anything to do with them infact they cursed them even though we never got into any arguments before it's not becoming any easy for me
     
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  7. sigmund

    sigmund sigmood VIP

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    try to at least speak to them over the fone especially your blood uncles and aunties and even grandparents do you think that is sufficient considering how much of a grave sin cutting ties with kinship is DESPITE is not really severing ties with them since we don't hold any grudge
     
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  8. Wardheere

    Wardheere Qolana Janno qolana naar

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    Go by yourself. That is your family you dont need company.
     
  9. sigmund

    sigmund sigmood VIP

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    I have been suffering from social anxiety for a long time so when I usually visit places I take someone with me its always been like that so it won't be easy going on my own.
     
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  10. sigmund

    sigmund sigmood VIP

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    I feel like my religious commitment is plummeting because of this I mean if I don't visit or do enough that is required in Islam when it comes to kinship then what's the point doing righteous deeds if I am already cursed
     
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  11. Wardheere

    Wardheere Qolana Janno qolana naar

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    There is simething causing your social anxiety. Fix it.

    Pray alot and make dua.

    I used to be socially awkward too and now i give qutbah at mosques.
     
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  12. YourBroMoe

    YourBroMoe Who the fuck am I? ギくェズー

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  13. sigmund

    sigmund sigmood VIP

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    Not trying to be rude but if you don't have a sufficient answer then don't bother replying smh
     
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  14. Wardheere

    Wardheere Qolana Janno qolana naar

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    You are not cursed. If you have nothing against your relatives you are good to go.

    Make dua for them that way your love for them will increase.
     
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  15. sigmund

    sigmund sigmood VIP

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    thanks and I will ofcourse and I will try to communicate with them for a lifetime especially my aunt and uncle but it would probably every once two years tbh
     
  16. YourBroMoe

    YourBroMoe Who the fuck am I? ギくェズー

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    I was being serious. When it comes to my relatives, I genuinely give them all a chance and act in my best behavior. Sometimes you just don't click with relatives. If you did all you could, I don't see why you should beat yourself up about it. You did nothing wrong in my opinion. It is what it is.
     
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  17. Luna

    Luna

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    You can visit or casually send your congratulations by text or give them a call.
    Meeting them somewhere such as the mall might be more comfortable. Going to people's houses is very uncomfortable when you don't usually interact.
     
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  18. sigmund

    sigmund sigmood VIP

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    thanks for the input sis is not even about the location is about my awkwardness around them we were never close infact I only discovered about them in 2005 and few times visited them because we were children so it was easier maintaining ties but now we are all in our adults one has a child that I haven't seen and they probably would find me and my family weird and suspicious to visit them now when I didn't even visit them when my female cousin gave birth
     
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  19. Crow

    Crow Make Hobyo Great Again

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    It's a difficult situation but there's no way you could get a sin by not talking to them due to awkwardness. I believe the meaning behind the ruling is to prevent cutting off a family member due to anger and hate.

    Still it would be good to re-establish ties with them. I would focus on trying to find an "in". My Somali isn't very good but I actually find it easier to talk to moms and dads. They have low expectations and are easily impressed by my Somali knowledge.

    I have one uncle in particular who I have had some very interesting conversations with. We've talked about his time in the Somali army before the civil war and family history so maybe start with that. Politics is another good topic.

    I don't have any good ideas on how you could approach the mom. Maybe get your full family history from your dad and tell her you want to meet to fill in the gaps.
     
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  20. sigmund

    sigmund sigmood VIP

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    I made a thorough decision an hour ago and decided to meet my dad side of the family on my own I'm just waiting for him to come back from the motherland so I can go with him
     
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