In case of divorce, who should hold custody of the children? Mother or Father?

[jabsveg276]

The world at large still expects women to do the bulk of the parenting. Its more than tradition, but actual human instincts. It is a fact that mothers have a greater bond, make more sacrifices for their children ect than fathers. Western or Eastern.

Okay, fair enough. Let me propose an idea to you then.

Let’s say the mother gets custody of the children and the father pays child support..

The mother gets a debit-card and all the money from child-support is loaded on that debit card. Only things that are meant for the child can be purchased (food, clothing, water, certain bills etc). Anything outside of that would get canceled and the money spent would be monitored. Does that sound good? The U.S and U.K are trying to implement that.

 

[Amirah]

I wonder if Somali moms know the kinda boys they’re raising these days. Do they know they’re raising boys who resent them and everything they stand for. Boys use to love their moms in the past, this little faraxs now think their mothers aren’t fit to be a parent. They’re grossed out by their mother’s body and gender. They demean and advocate for her abuse. Complete contrast to the past. It’s sad really esp when at least 50% were raised by a single mother.

 

[4head]

I'd say that it depends on the cases.
There's no general agreement that it's the mother's job to raise her children.

We leave it to Societal Norms. As many women on this site complain about societal norms,
a few of them here defend it.

From my perspective, as a child of divorced parents.
I can say that a father HAS to be present for his children and to rule out of his presence while the child is growing, that's absurd.

Just because the mother birthed the kid it doesn't mean that she'll have enough resources (physically, financially, and mentally) to raise a child alone. The solution will be (potentially),
shared-parenthood. Alternating visits. A week with his dad, another one with his mom. Ideally, they'd have to have a good relationship between them (though divorced, the parents shouldn't fight in front of their children, nor dispute aggressively).

Some "mothers" are not fit to be mothers. Same with "fathers". As Stromae (the Belgian singer), " anyone can make babies, not everybody can be a dad". Becoming a dad or a mother is a skill to have (inherited and learned), and depending on the case, custody should be given to the fittest one.

I'm personally sorry for all the dads who wanted to have their child's custody, but because of a rigged system, they couldn't see their own babies.

 

[Macalin dheerow]

Islamically what I remember the case is that children under the age of 9 or 10 should stay with their mother while children older than these ages should stay with their father.

If I am correct, this is good ruling. I love my hooyo, but after the age of 9 I completely morphed in to a copy of my father, same manners, behaviour, thinking etc. My siblings even say I sound like my father

 

[Lady Whistledown]

As if the dad wants custody.
A Somali dad goes 2 places after divorce. Either to raise another man’s kids or to be a roommate with other Somali dads living the bashaal life

 

[adventurequestworlds1.0.2]

As if the dad wants custody.
A Somali dad goes 2 places after divorce. Either to raise another man’s kids or to be a roommate with other Somali dads living the bashaal life

Not all some but i think majority want their Kid or Kids custody

 

[Lostbox]

You really think these part time dad's will take full responsibility for their own kids?

I'm not convinced

 

[Xaruun]

You really think these part time dad's will take full responsibility for their own kids?

I'm not convinced

Warya stop preaching and go look after your own kid.

 

[Amal Hassan]

if the dad has more resources/makes more money, dad should have the kids

But if this person has more resources but always working? How can he look after kids or would she pay cold support

 

[Farahslayer]

Somali dhaqan the man gets the child and gives it away to his sister so most of the time the children of divorce are robbed of the mother and the father.

 

[Lostbox]

Warya stop preaching and go look after your own kid.

I bet 70% of guys where are struggling to take care of themselves. You expect to believe they look after another tiny human?


Women will get a fast track to government benefits and housing. You lots on the other hand...

 

[4head]

As if the dad wants custody.
A Somali dad goes 2 places after divorce. Either to raise another man’s kids or to be a roommate with other Somali dads living the bashaal life

My dad wanted custody (and fought to the end).

There are some good Somali fathers tbh

 

[Xaruun]

I bet 70% of guys where are struggling to take care of themselves. You expect to believe they look after another tiny human?


Women will get a fast track to government benefits and housing. You lots on the other hand...

Don’t try and change the subject. Your garac needs a father

 

[Farahslayer]

There’s research that shows taking a child from their mother causes biological trauma and poor brain development. Mothers and fathers are not and will never be the same.

HOWEVER death withstanding, every child has a right to both parents. But only Somalis believe that children of divorce can only be with one and never speak to the other. It’s just sick and all these petty parents will have to pay for this on the day of judgement. Including those who did not fulfill their obligations to their children!

 

[Lady Whistledown]

My dad wanted custody (and fought to the end).

There are some good Somali fathers tbh

That’s good. I’m just going by what I’ve seen growing up

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

Defiantly mother. I knew some mixed Cadaan-Paki guy who was raised by his dad in school and the guy was an absolute nut-case. He used to carry around a hammer and he started hitting some guy he had beef with ( knees/shins) on a crowded bus

 

[adventurequestworlds1.0.2]

There’s research that shows taking a child from their mother causes biological trauma and poor brain development. Mothers and fathers are not and will never be the same.

HOWEVER death withstanding, every child has a right to both parents. But only Somalis believe that children of divorce can only be with one and never speak to the other. It’s just sick and all these petty parents will have to pay for this on the day of judgement. Including those who did not fulfill their obligations to their children!

Tht research is not true lol same can be said about child tht has been taken from his father and also the mother have right to visit her kid or kids everyday spent time with her kid or kids while the father have the custody no one is not denying

 

[Macalin dheerow]

There’s research that shows taking a child from their mother causes biological trauma and poor brain development. Mothers and fathers are not and will never be the same.

HOWEVER death withstanding, every child has a right to both parents. But only Somalis believe that children of divorce can only be with one and never speak to the other. It’s just sick and all these petty parents will have to pay for this on the day of judgement. Including those who did not fulfill their obligations to their children!

Only if the child is young, I don’t think being separated after age of 9 or 10 would be bad granted if the father had connection with the kids.

 

[Macalin dheerow]

Im taking the kids when they are old enough, ages 9 or 10. Younger than that is the mother. Good deal.

 

[Farahslayer]

Only if the child is young, I don’t think being separated after age of 9 or 10 would be bad granted if the father had connection with the kids.

You don’t know much about family courts then. Children of that age are giving the choice of where they prefer to live full time or joint custody. Neither men nor women are given preference. It’s what’s in the best interest of the child.

Full custody is only awarded to women in the cases where the father wants nothing to do with the child. Even in the case of rape of the mother (yes A RAPIST) the father always gets access and right to the child.

this isn’t the 50s