I'm NOT anorexic

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I don't think your weight is the issue here but the fact you can't eat in public, try to see someone about that. It does sound like you have "food phobia" although you might think its easy to just not eat in front of people and just avoid it, food phobia can lead to other problems. It is similar to a
Anxiety Disorder and you mental health is as risk if you let it carry on.
Thanks I should probably see someone bc I do have anxiety
 
Thanks I should probably see someone bc I do have anxiety

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, back in the days women were ashamed to eat out in public because it was classless to do so.

I remember more then a decade ago that shame still somewhat existed, they would not lift that spoon while you looked at them, and they would always order very light stuff like soups or get a take away while hiding.

That shame no longer exists today, hence the obesity pandemic among the Xaalimo's. In wretched times like these anyone that is different and maintains some dignity is viewed as a pariah.

If your young and inexperienced while growing up in these filthy immoral shameless times, you can easily fall in to the mistake of thinking that "maybe something is wrong with me"

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! you possesses a superior level of shame that is unparalleled and thank Allah for this
 
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