I wish remarriage with children wasnโ€™t so common in our cultureโ€ฆ

I resent Somali parents who get remarried especially the ones who get married multiple times and have children with different partners. I remember I lived with this lady who had 3 kids with 2 fathers and was looking for a third husband ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ

She was a struggling nurse whoโ€™s ex wouldnโ€™t financially help at all and she was talking about going to the Middle East to find a husband. I also saw a old man on TIktok who had married 20 WOMEN in his lifetime. Do they not think how messed up the family dynamic might be? Do they not think of how they might neglect some of their children?

Iโ€™m the only kid of my mom and dad and everyone else is just a half sibling. It feels divided into teams walahi and Im just a one man band ๐Ÿ’€ Itโ€™s really a mindfuck growing up with 4+ siblings with the same mom and dad and also having a huge age gap + war trauma ptsd kids who fucking hate my dad and cuss him out all the time.

They treated me well when I was a kid because they like kids but once I grew older and they saw my fathers face I think thatโ€™s when the bitterness and harsh treatment really hit even though they still tried to support me and weโ€™re kind but it was not the same as with each other.

Whenever I would argue with one of my siblings, the rest would band together to defend them as if I were an outsider arguing with their family ๐Ÿ’€ walahi the one thing I really resent my mom for is the fact that she didnโ€™t bother giving me a sibling so at least Iโ€™d have someone.

They all live with each other peacefully even my mentally ill brother who causes so much harm, but I barely graduated high school from how many times I was kicked out of the house ๐Ÿ’€ It got to a point where all of them would band together and when I would argue with one (angsty teenage behavior) they would all grab me from either side and shove me out of the house (hooyo included๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€)

Anyway I wish I could order a rule in Somalia culture that you CANT remarry with more than 2 kids!!!! and cap at only 2 MARRIAGES!!!!!!! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
 
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So young divorced people should just stay celibate/single their whole lives?
Yeah you can but if your remarrying 2 or 3 times with loser people and just producing more kids and fucking up the family dynamic, than yeah please for gods sake stay celibate. Obviously those people donโ€™t make right decisions.
 
Yeah you can but if your remarrying 2 or 3 times with loser people and just producing more kids and fucking up the family dynamic, than yeah please for gods sake stay celibate. Obviously those people donโ€™t make right decisions.
Sounds like their issue is the choice in partner or the speed in which they marry? maybe the solution is getting to know the person better.
 
I resent Somali parents who get remarried especially the ones who get married multiple times and have children with different partners. I remember I lived with this lady who had 3 kids with 2 fathers and was looking for a third husband ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ

She was a struggling nurse whoโ€™s ex wouldnโ€™t financially help at all and she was talking about going to the Middle East to find a husband. I also saw a old man on TIktok who had married 20 WOMEN in his lifetime.

Do they not think how messed up the family dynamic might be? Do they not think of how they might neglect some of their children?

Iโ€™m the only kid of my mom and dad and everyone else is just a half sibling. It feels divided into teams walahi and Im just a one man band ๐Ÿ’€

Itโ€™s really a mindfuck growing up with 4+ siblings with the same mom and dad and also having a huge age gap + war trauma ptsd kids who fucking hate my dad and cuss him out all the time.

They treated me well when I was a kid because they like kids but once I grew older and they saw my fathers face I think thatโ€™s when the bitterness and harsh treatment really hit even though they still tried to support me and weโ€™re kind but it was not the same as with each other.

Whenever I would argue with one of my siblings, the rest would band together to defend them as if I were an outsider arguing with their family ๐Ÿ’€ walahi the one thing I really resent my mom for is the fact that she didnโ€™t bother giving me a sibling so at least Iโ€™d have someone.

They all live with each other peacefully even my mentally ill brother who causes so much harm, but I barely graduated high school from how many times I was kicked out of the house ๐Ÿ’€

It got to a point where all of them would band together and when I would argue with one (angsty teenage behavior) they would all grab me from either side and shove me out of the house (hooyo included๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€)

Anyway I wish I could order a rule in Somalia culture that you CANT remarry with more than 2 kids!!!! and cap at only 2 MARRIAGES!!!!!!! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Sorry walaal, you are still struggling with it. Did your father remarry? I think it is a byproduct of the civil war, as it was rare in pre war in our culture. rabana yasir!
 

NidarNidar

Punisher
It's not common in my family, my Grandparents didn't divorce but have been separated since the '80s, she decided to raise her kids and moved back to her parents, and my grandfather married 4/5 wives since, his a Sheikh.
 

Sophisticate

~Gallantly Gadabuursi~
Staff Member
My parents have been married for 40+ years. Both are educated. The practice of polygamy was not a thing among my parents or maternal grandparents. I don't have any close relatives that are divorced either. Alx.
 
If you have kids already especially 2, they should be your priority not finding a new spouse.
I agree with you. But some people place a huge emphasis on a partner, I think its due to animal lust more than anything else. People need to control their sexual urges, we are not animals.

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A Mean Guy

Minister of Ajanabi Affairs
The reason why so many women remarry so quickly is because in Somali culture, divorced women are not considered undesirable hence they rush into another potentially terrible relationship.
I do agree with what youโ€™re saying to an extent but that that problem is exclusively a older Gen issue. They donโ€™t consider marriage a big deal. Itโ€™s like changing clothes for them.
 
Yeahh Iโ€™ve seen girls with worse fathers so Iโ€™m not complaining too much walahi, I do talk with my dads family alhamdulilah but itโ€™s occasional.
Good to here it is not the worse. Being from one family structure, I am unfamiliar with the dynamics of extended family relations, but to balance things out, if I were in your shoes, I would make the occasional visitations more permanent to lessen the distress on the home front with your siblings, a break of sort, so to speak.
 

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