I think my manager wants to sleep w/ me

[Genos]

So, I'm a bit confused and would like someone to help clear this up. My manager (woman, mid-30s) has been VERY touchy-feely lately. Escalated just before Christmas, here's a list of her shenanigans with me:


- Whenever she comes over to talk to me, she always touches me. Either places her hand on my lower back or on my arm, and it's always for a second too long.

- If I show her something on my computer screen, she'll come super close to me to check it. Our faces are like mm from touching.

-Always asking about my personal life. I once told her about a slip up I made during a date and she's constantly reminding me of it. Keeps on calling me a player etc.

- Compared me to her bf physically many, many times.

- Showed me a picture of her when she was around my age and asked me if I would date her (I'm not kidding....this is my manager!)

-Here's the big one. We were working together, sitting side by side. I point to a mistake I found on my laptop, she leans in to look over and rest her HAND ON MY THIGH the whole time she was looking (like 30seconds).

Even my coworker has caught on a bit. He asked me why she treats us different. Things like the way she talks to us and the work allocation (she always gives me work I enjoy, most of the time). Lastly, every time we go to lunch together, she pays (maybe once a week).

So guys, help me out here. Am I being groomed? Or is she just particularly friendly with me?

And about the touching, that's something I can't stand (from anyone). But I'm afraid she'll make my work life hell if I tell her to cut it out.

 

[ALittleBitItalian]

Theres only one thing to do...

Report her for sexual assault

 

[BestCaseScenario]

So, I'm a bit confused and would like someone to help clear this up. My manager (woman, mid-30s) has been VERY touchy-feely lately. Escalated just before Christmas, here's a list of her shenanigans with me:


- Whenever she comes over to talk to me, she always touches me. Either places her hand on my lower back or on my arm, and it's always for a second too long.

- If I show her something on my computer screen, she'll come super close to me to check it. Our faces are like mm from touching.

-Always asking about my personal life. I once told her about a slip up I made during a date and she's constantly reminding me of it. Keeps on calling me a player etc.

- Compared me to her bf physically many, many times.

- Showed me a picture of her when she was around my age and asked me if I would date her (I'm not kidding....this is my manager!)

-Here's the big one. We were working together, sitting side by side. I point to a mistake I found on my laptop, she leans in to look over and rest her HAND ON MY THIGH the whole time she was looking (like 30seconds).

Even my coworker has caught on a bit. He asked me why she treats us different. Things like the way she talks to us and the work allocation (she always gives me work I enjoy, most of the time). Lastly, every time we go to lunch together, she pays (maybe once a week).

So guys, help me out here. Am I being groomed? Or is she just particularly friendly with me?

And about the touching, that's something I can't stand (from anyone). But I'm afraid she'll make my work life hell if I tell her to cut it out.

Well, saxib, There is nothing wrong with her wanting to f*ck you. It is human. People get interested in others and some are bold about it. You should have put this to rest from day one and brought in your girlfriend or a hired Somali beauty, like your cousin who sympathizes with your plight so you can keep your job and the lady manager to back off after she sees her as a guest to your work. Or you could set up a meeting at the parking lot when you know the cougar will walk by. Parked next to her a hug you give to your cousin would have done the trick.

With that said, you are in a quandary. If you don't want to f*ck her as obvious in your post, get your resume updated and play nice until you get a job.


Or, a lecture to her about how sexual relations in the office ruins people's careers when one of them isn't interested anymore can be helpful.

Either way, update resume, GET A JOB, and on your way out, be candid with her.

 

[BestCaseScenario]

Another excellent solution is buying her a book in the pretense of educating her about your culture. And you guessed right .. Translation of the Quran. First chapter she reads and based on her disposition, you will be a nutcase in her mind or someone genuinely religious and she will leave you alone.

I have done this before, the gifting of religious books, and it helps with the conversation. Women in the western culture, at least in America assume you want them or you are into them if you are nice and conversationalist like me. I didn;t understand why they proposed we go to a bar after work or they asked me straight after a while if I wanted them.

Then, I decided no more mr nice and talkative. Salaanta uma dhaafo and now I am that angry black male as usual in their eyes. Works perfect man.

I prefer my job over them although deep down I don't mind using them cougars. Some of them are sexy and dress nice. Perfect tool for good Sex. But then, that Godly contract I carry with me binds me ...

Oh well, we all struggle.

 

[Haji]

Sxb this is funny and interesting but very risky. It could turn out that she reports you for harassment if she gets tired or annoyed with you. If this job is your lifeline, then don't risk it. Tell her calmly that you simply are here to work and that you want to keep your interactions strictly professional. She should get the message from that.

If you don't care if you lose the job and are willing to take the risk, then....

 

[BestCaseScenario]

Sxb this is funny and interesting but very risky. It could turn out that she reports you for harassment if she gets tired or annoyed with you. If this job is your lifeline, then don't risk it. Tell her calmly that you simply are here to work and that you want to keep your interactions strictly professional. She should get the message from that.

If you don't care if you lose the job and are willing to take the risk, then....

This advise but with a smart method of doing it. Not outright rejection as that can turn her into his enemy, and from that moment on where he informs her that he isn't interested, it won't be pleasant working under her anyway.

So ... be smart, be political about it and bring a book of religious nature meant for non-muslims, straight Quranic translation, or just bring a Somali girl to work somehow and introduce etc.

Updating resume is always ideal ..... look for another job of similar profession and pay scale. First week is very important at any job. If you go there with your prayer mat, that sets the record from day one LOL.

Assuming Mr Genos is a muslim that is.. and no disrespect, just covering all angles.

 

[Ricespot]

Call HR and pull a #metoo and get that money

 

[agnes]

And about the touching, that's something I can't stand (from anyone). But I'm afraid she'll make my work life hell if I tell her to cut it out.

Your work life is already hell if you have to bear this much molestation to get paid. Be a man and tell to keep her hands to herself, or better yet report her.

 

[Slowmo]

Your work life is already hell if you have to bear this much molestation to get paid. Be a man and tell to keep her hands to herself, or better yet report her.

Calm down abayo macaan, its not that bad

@Genos
Just be a man and draw a line with her. You go to your job to work, not too make people happy. Therefore be blunt and tell her, that her overly friendly behaviour makes you uncomfortable. No need to mince your words, or nothing will be done sxb.

for most niggas, this a dream come true.

 

[agnes]

Calm down abayo macaan, its not that bad

@Genos
Just be a man and draw a line with her. You go to your job to work, not too make people happy. Therefore be blunt and tell her, that her overly friendly behaviour makes you uncomfortable. No need to mince your words, or nothing will be done sxb.

for most niggas, this a dream come true.

It's bad if he's not enjoying the molestation. He should stand up for himself cause once she's done with him and no longer has any use for him she will discard him.

 

[BestCaseScenario]

Calm down abayo macaan, its not that bad

@Genos
Just be a man and draw a line with her. You go to your job to work, not too make people happy. Therefore be blunt and tell her, that her overly friendly behaviour makes you uncomfortable. No need to mince your words, or nothing will be done sxb.

for most niggas, this a dream come true.

Your last line reminds what I noticed on white dominated discussion forums after articles of female teachers sleeping with their teenage boys gets posted. Almost every guy on the discussion laments why he wasn't the one being raped by the good looking female teacher.

It is a man thing honestly ....

 

[BestCaseScenario]

It's bad if he's not enjoying the molestation. He should stand up for himself cause once she's done with him and no longer has any use for him she will discard him.

He is male, prolly looks good in her eyes and up for grabs. If he doesn't like her advances, he needs to tell her that dealing with the consequences, or be subtle with the rejection and do something smart.

This doesn't require to be raised to the level of rape or molestation. He needs to address his source of anxiety and put it to an immediate stop. And there are easy ways to do it that protects his income as well.

 

[agnes]

He is male, prolly looks good in her eyes and up for grabs. If he doesn't like her advances, he needs to tell her that dealing with the consequences, or be subtle with the rejection and do something smart.

This doesn't require to be raised to the level of rape or molestation. He needs to address his source of anxiety and put it to an immediate stop. And there are easy ways to do it that protects his income as well.

I had to quit my job because of something similar. If you don't stand up for yourself its not going to stop.

It's not worth challenging a manager, If I were him I'd quit.

 

[Haji]

I had to quit my first job because of something similar. If you don't stand up for yourself its not going to stop.

It's not worth challenging a manager, If I were him I'd quit.

Wow, what was your situation like? I never had to deal with a supervisor/manager liking me, but a co-worker which isn't a big deal.

Sometimes quitting is not an option, if the job is his only source of income. There are ways to get the message across in a nice way, and not embarass or insult anyone.

 

[Ferrari]

@R.Kelly come advise this nigga.

 

[BestCaseScenario]

I had to quit my job because of something similar. If you don't stand up for yourself its not going to stop.

It's not worth challenging a manager, If I were him I'd quit.

You are a female sis. Protection comes first for you and I would not suggest you stay there a day more than you should if you were in his shoes. With that said, this is a guy for god's sakes, even courts would have hard time believing him. Must be human bias that guys aren't that at risk and they can solve issues like this from a female with a word or two. It is expected. The judge might burst into a laughter unless he is being politically correct in America. Proving his case will be hard and he will need evidence gathering like e-mails, voice recordings etc. It is not worth it.

So, Mr Lothario above can just suck it up and do something smart. He needs the job so he needs to plan accordingly , update the resume, talk to her subtle ways by letting her know about your culture. She can find someone else to shag, many takers out there. She wants him apparently, so he needs to work on it and he needs to take it easy, this is not big on the scale of tragic things that can happen to a man.


I bet you if he takes Salli/prayer Mat to work tomorrow, and does a prayer while she looks on, she won't even look at him again.

 

[Gibiin-Udug]

That's highly inappropriate. Report her.

 

[BestCaseScenario]

That's highly inappropriate. Report her.

He needs to pay for rent and put gas into his car, or even better, he helps people back home. This is not a case where you dish out advise without thinking about what ifs.

At face value, he is a man and this is nothing more than an issue he can solve. But he needs plan before causing more stress for himself.

 

[NotMyL]

Lol you're screwed either way, you shouldn't have let it go this far. Now all you can do is say you are gay so you don't hurt her ego

 

[agnes]

Wow, what was your situation like? I never had to deal with a supervisor/manager liking me, but a co-worker which isn't a big deal.

Sometimes quitting is not an option, if the job is his only source of income. There are ways to get the message across in a nice way, and not embarass or insult anyone.

It all began with little compliments, then he did something inappropriate. When I refused to meet him for tea he started making me work extra hours. He would also fire all the good looking guys who talked to me at work out of jealousy.