I might be getting an arranged marriage
- Thread starter Qeelbax
- Start date
The whole point of Mehr is simply a gift a man gives to show his seriousness. The husband is meant to pay/give the mehr upfront in the beginning, NOT at the end when divorcing. Old school Somalis do this, but this isn't part of Islam.
Also, the average Wali is focusing on feeding his own wife and kids. Imagine a middle aged wife with an elderly father who needs to be looked after himself or who might have passed away. Brothers who are struggling to provide for their own wife and kids and might not have any cash left over. That is the reality. All single mothers have to look after themselves or their older children will. Hardly any have brothers that can do that unless they're lucky enough to be from rich families.
My whole point is, women need to put themselves first and try to not 'sacrifice'. Its easier said than done. Also, everything is calaf.
TekNiKo
Loyal To The One True Caliph (Hafidahullah)
No, she does still need a Wali. Its just that her Wali cannot intervene in her next choice of husband as much.
There is nothing in the deen to indicate that a divorced woman can be a Wali over herself. That is merely a Somali myth. A woman's father, brother ect will always be her Wali.
The issue is the laughable lack of reality. The average 'brother' cannot support more than one family. Many are struggling or simply getting by with providing for their own immediate family let alone their sister and her kids ect. Islamically, a single mother should be helped by her male family members, but that isn't feasible in this day and age. In the West Muslim men tend to be from low socioeconomic backgrounds ect.
TekNiKo
Loyal To The One True Caliph (Hafidahullah)
Is that so? That what I was told in Somalia, garoob 'weli maleh' because she is already married before. I even see that qudbo siro is also rife and that many secret marriages are with 'garoobs' who dont want baggage.
Yes I agree we are poor but its better for people to relieve their desires in a halal way than haram. Let whoever wants to marry get married lest they commit zina.
I know Somalis say this. Its an old Somali myth, but wrong and haram on many levels. A widow/divorced woman merely has more control and say tbh and that is it. She still needs her father to give her away.
I think the whole garoob 'Weli maleh' is a manipulation tactic men use to lower the standards of divorced women and to be able to gain access to a woman in a dishonorable way. There is an element of respect, fear and responsibility, when you have to go up to a woman's wali and these men it seems would prefer to bypass that.
TekNiKo
Loyal To The One True Caliph (Hafidahullah)
Islam QA says the opposite and that garoob doesnt need weli, I think you are misinformed, its part of the diin.
There are two angles to your question:
• Wali representation at the nikah ceremony, • Permission to marry from the Wali
It is not necessary for a woman to be represented by her Wali in marriage. She may represent herself at the Nikah (within the confines of Shariah) or appoint someone to represent her.
It is not necessary for a women to obtain permission from her Wali to marry. If she does marry without his permission the nikah will be valid. However, if she does get married to some one outside of her scope of Kufu (compatibility) the Wali in the interest of the child has the right to object and the marriage. (Hidaaya vol.2 Pg. 314 Ilmiyya)
If a divorced woman decides to get married, must she be represented by a -
If a divorced woman decides to get married, must she be represented by a wali or can she give herself to marriage without a wali? I understand it is preferred for her to be represented by a wali but
islamqa.org
That is a Hanafi opinion. Also, that isn't Islam.qa, it's Islam.qa.org. Different websites.Islam QA says the opposite and that garoob doesnt need weli, I think you are misinformed, its part of the diin.
There are two angles to your question:
• Wali representation at the nikah ceremony, • Permission to marry from the Wali<
It is not necessary for a woman to be represented by her Wali in marriage. She may represent herself at the Nikah (within the confines of Shariah) or appoint someone to represent her.
It is not necessary for a women to obtain permission from her Wali to marry. If she does marry without his permission the nikah will be valid. However, if she does get married to some one outside of her scope of Kufu (compatibility) the Wali in the interest of the child has the right to object and the marriage. (Hidaaya vol.2 Pg. 314 Ilmiyya)
If a divorced woman decides to get married, must she be represented by a -
If a divorced woman decides to get married, must she be represented by a wali or can she give herself to marriage without a wali? I understand it is preferred for her to be represented by a wali but
Hanifis even believe a virgin doesn't need permission, let alone a widow/divorced woman.
The other madhabs believe all women need Walis. Somalis are mostly Shafi and Hanbali (recently).
On the actual Islamqa, they argue:
And as for the guardian, it is a must no matter the woman has been married before or not. The prophet (peace be upon him) said: Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is false, her marriage is false, her marriage is false.[Narrated by Al Termithy # 1102, Abou Dawood, Ibn Maga & El Albani said that it is authentic in his book Sahih Al Gamia # 2709 ].
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If you're a single person living alone or with like one pet or something like that then 8-10K AED or 8-15K AED should be more than enough to be comfortable and save up. With that salary you can easily find a studio or even a 2-3 bedroom apartment or one of these smaller community villas if you're willing to compromise on location, you can also afford less expensive cars like a Renault Duster either leased, rented or bought outright after saving for a handful of years, all while still having money for good food, leisure time and savings. It gets more complex, like @Roorigeg points out, if you're married and want kids but most households here are two income anyway so, hopefully, your wife or husband helps make the difference. But it does get more dicey if you want a family, no doubt.
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Even a divorced woman needs a weli in all of the 4 schools of thought in Sunni Islam. Hanafi is a bit lenient and has a room to maneuver for a mature woman who knows her rights and who is well-known in the community - someone who is a leader.
However, a weli is not someone who just gives yes or no to lady's marriage; he is someone who has her best interest at heart - someone who would shoulder her well-being in the event that she needs help. He is expected to be someone who would feed her, cloth her, and defend her in the event that the law is not there to defend her rights. There is more to weli than we actually follow in the Somali society.
The Hanafi school of thought believe even a virgin woman doesn't need a Wali. So, it's all 3 school of thought.
"Hanafi jurists disagreed with the majority of jurists and hold that a mature, sane free woman is capable of contracting her own marriage without a wali (male guardian) albeit it being incomplete if there was no wali. However they stipulated two important conditions which if not fulfilled, the wali has the right to nullify the marriage contract: the woman should marry a kuf' (a man in equal standing and status) and the bride receives the same dowry is usually given to similar brides (mahr al-mithl)."
Why does the Hanafi school not require the Wali Amr for a valid...
In a Nutshell: Hanafi jurists disagreed with the majority of jurists and hold that a mature, sane free woman who contracted her own marriage without a wali (male guardian) albeit it being sinful and...
It is not as simple as you're making it out to be. They qualify it and add conditions in their reasoning. And if we look at it in deep, it is much easier for the woman to go through her wali; otherwise, he has the right to cancel it if he deems it is not for her rights.
Btw what u mean by what somali President did to arab goverment
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I'm a happily taken man but if I wasn't I'm afraid I don't play for your team, bro. You'd have to get a sex change and I mean go all the way because I ain't one of dem "we'll tape it up" niggas. You'd also have to slather yourself in female pheromones because I have a keen sense of smell and would likely have smelt the male on you which would be a definite no-no.
I was referring to how the UAE was trying to pull modern colonialism in Somalia and Farmaajo said "Ka kac, waryaa" and ousted them. Saaxiibs haven't been too happy about that
It's not about his father's wealth but his own. So what does he do for a living? Is he ambitious? Does he have the characteristics of a future monogamous husband and a good father?
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