I might be getting an arranged marriage

[Qeelbax]

SERIOUS, NO TROLLING!

My mom recently found this Arab-Somali man for me. He’s only seen a picture of me but he fancies me. Apparently it was my grandpa who caused this as he apparently knows his father.
I of course said no but turns out he’s from a wealthy family. In Saudi Arabia. Not like extremely wealthy but his fathers income is 7 figures.

I absolutely have zero interest in this man. But I have interest in his pockets.
Wallahi I thought my mom was exaggerating because why would somali saudi person go for a somali person when I live in the west?

This sounds sketchy to me… Like there’s a catch. Is he an adulterer or something? Does he need a proud Darod gyal like me to retain somali traditions? My mom said something about them spending a considerable amount of time back home when they were younger. Maybe he’s retained his somalinino and wants a somali wife. But I’m very western, so that can’t be it.

 

[Periplus]

What do you mean Somali-Arab?

1. Somali that lives in MENA

2. Member of Carab Salaax

3. Descendant of 20th Century Arab immigrants

 

[Qeelbax]

What do you mean Somali-Arab?

1. Somali that lives in MENA

2. Member of Carab Salaax

3. Descendant of 20th Century Arab immigrants

Now that you ask I’m not sure. His father is puntland. He’s definitely at least half somali, since his father is somali but idk about his mom. He has like wavy hair, I thought he was just one of them puntlanders.
I discovered what carab salaax is today so can’t be that.

 

[Angelina]

I think you should do a lot of research.

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[Periplus]

Now that you ask I’m not sure. His father is puntland. He’s definitely at least half somali, since his father is somali but idk about his mom. He has like wavy hair, I thought he was just one of them puntlanders.
I discovered what carab salaax is today so can’t be that.

Carab Salaax are in PL so it’s probably that.

 

[Periplus]

Marry him, secure the bag and make some investments for yourself.

He wants a Western passport and you want some investments. If he’s good looking and you get along with him, it’s a bonus.

 

[Khanderson]

@Qeelbax

how old are you if I may ask?

 

[Angelina]

Marry him, secure the bag and make some investments for yourself.

He wants a Western passport and you want some investments. If he’s good looking and you get along with him, it’s a bonus.

Marrying the son of rich Farax most of the time isn't securing the bag lol. Other ethnicities? Maybe

 

[Periplus]

Marrying the son of rich Farax most of the time isn't securing the bag lol. Other ethnicities? Maybe

I know too well about rich odays who have no retirement savings spending their lacag on wives and becoming “laandheer”.

But I advice my niece @Qeelbax to asses the situation. If the suitor himself has some cash and he’s good looking and nice, she should consider it.

After all she’s a soon to be Ivy League grad with an American passport. But she is also young and shouldn’t seriously consider it until she has a degree under her belt.

 

[Angelina]

I know too well about rich odays who have no retirement savings spending their lacag on wives and becoming “laandheer”.

But I advice my niece @Qeelbax to asses the situation. If the suitor himself has some cash and he’s good looking and nice, she should consider it.

After all she’s a soon to be Ivy League grad with an American passport. But she is also young and shouldn’t seriously consider it until she has a degree under her belt.

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[Abdisamad]

@Angelina and @Qeelbax

Why are some women so much focused on money? Money doesn't make a man good or bad and it doesn't guarantee you a successful happy marriage with the individual... So why are women soo money focused to the point some wealthy men even take advantage of them?

 

[Angelina]

@Angelina and @Qeelbax

Why are some women so much focused on money? Money doesn't make a man good or bad and it doesn't guarantee you a successful happy marriage with the individual... So why are women soo money focused to the point some wealthy men even take advantage of them?

Women make more sacrifices in marriages compared to men and it is simply due to our biology. Motherhood also effects our own income abilities, whilst men actually tend to earn more as time progresses. Men naturally value nurturing women, the way we value stability . You could argue since they have hands and can do things themselves, they too can have happy successful relationships without women having that nurturing element. But no man would, so don't expect women to not value stability when it literally effects our quality of life and even our offsprings.

 

[Abdisamad]

Women make more sacrifices in marriages compared to men and it is simply due to our biology. Motherhood also effects our own income abilities, whilst men actually tend to earn more as time progresses. Men naturally value nurturing women, the way we value stability . You could argue since they have hands and can do things themselves, they too can have happy successful relationships without women having that nurturing element. But no man would, so don't expect women to not value stability when it literally effects our quality of life and even our offsprings.

But in a relationship it's kinda 50/50 you give some you take some, you are talking like women are doing men a favor by getting into a relationship with them and now they have to pay... You do understand money and wealth is something dynamic you can gain and lose as well.. Personally I would value a woman who would take me even if I was broke, that shows me her true character.. When I see money driven women or suspect her of being money driven I drop her instantly, because I know for sure she'll give me headache a long the way if my financial situation changes etc..

 

[Bluefire]

Is your grandpa handing pictures of you to random men in hopes of getting you married?

or have I read it wrong.

 

[Angelina]

But in a relationship it's kinda 50/50 you give some you take some, you are talking like women are doing men a favor by getting into a relationship with them and now they have to pay... You do understand money and wealth is something dynamic you can gain and lose as well.. Personally I would value a woman who would take me even if I was broke, that shows me her true character.. When I see money driven women or suspect her of being money driven I drop her instantly, because I know for sure she'll give me headache a long the way if my financial situation changes etc..

My whole point is, women definitely make more sacrifices. She gives birth, they go through stark pain and physical complications, they breast feed, many end having health side effects of giving birth. They're in charge of nurturing newborns. So whilst they're focusing on that, who will provide for them? What physical issues does the husband face in marriage? What hormonal issues does he face? Our health at times, hormones, emotions and responsibilities change for ever once we're mothers.Your one main job is to provide and work as a man and its something many have been doing even before marriage. So what sacrifices and major changes do you go through? In fact if you lived alone before marriage, life becomes easier as now you have someone doing most of the cooking and cleaning. Does our life become easier as mothers? Motherhood is wonderful btw, but its definitely hard and filled with sacrifices.

 

[Bluefire]

@Angelina and @Qeelbax

Why are some women so much focused on money? Money doesn't make a man good or bad and it doesn't guarantee you a successful happy marriage with the individual... So why are women soo money focused to the point some wealthy men even take advantage of them?

In general men are more interested in the quantity of women they can get, whilst women are more interested in the quality.

It’s why polygamy is a thing, men want lots of women whilst women want men that perceived to be high status.

Its also why you get men that loathe interracial marriages when it involves a female of their ethnicity but celebrate when men do it (it makes them feel like they can get less women).

Of course those are both extremes men still want women of quality and there are plenty of women who want lots of men but each gender put more weight into one category compared to the other.

 

[Abdisamad]

By whole point is, women definitely make more sacrifices. She gives birth, they go through stark pain and physical complications, they breast feed, many end having health side effects of giving birth. They're in charge of nurturing newborns. So whilst they're focusing on that, who will provide for them? What physical issues does the husband face in marriage? What hormonal issues does he face? Our health at times, hormones, emotions and responsibilities change for ever once we're married. Your one main job is to provide and work as a man and its something many have been doing even before marriage. So what sacrifices and major changes do you go through? In fact if you lived alone before marriage, life becomes easier as now you have someone doing most of the cooking and cleaning.

Well men can also suffer if they marry the wrong woman, the type who are lazy and demanding to be with.. This can actually ruin a man's health and financial status as well.. I imagine in a healthy relationship both parts are supportive of each other, the father of course has to provide for his family if the wife is staying at home taking care of the kids etc.. this is completely expected and normal.. In my above post what I was referring to was why do some women chase rich men or men who they think have money without even considering other characteristics in the man? Most rich guys have soo many options and since they have soo many options they might end up toying with you and in the end leave you broken.. What's more beautiful in my opinion is a woman who meets her man in his humble beginnings, this could be a student in engineering or other types of degrees, then she backs him up all the way to success and most often if the guy is not a dameer he will forever remain loyal to this woman as they grow together and go through life.. I hope you get the point.

 

[Angelina]

But in a relationship it's kinda 50/50 you give some you take some, you are talking like women are doing men a favor by getting into a relationship with them and now they have to pay... You do understand money and wealth is something dynamic you can gain and lose as well.. Personally I would value a woman who would take me even if I was broke, that shows me her true character.. When I see money driven women or suspect her of being money driven I drop her instantly, because I know for sure she'll give me headache a long the way if my financial situation changes etc..

The last part. Moderation is key, expecting a woman not to care about her partners finances is basically expecting her to go against her nature. You expect a woman to go against her self interest and protection. A woman can most definitely care about money, but also believe in qadr and that today we have money and health, tomorrow we might not have both or just one.

You definitely probably care about a woman's health, does that mean that tomorrow if she has a long term chronic health problems you'll leave? Obviously not, well I hope not.

 

[karkaar]

Does he need a proud Darod gyal like me to retain somali traditions? ]

Just here to tell you

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[Abdisamad]

The last part. Moderation is key, expecting a woman not to care about her partners finances is basically expecting her to go against her nature. You expect a woman to go against her self interest and protection. A woman can most definitely care about money, but also believe in qadr and that today we have money and health, tomorrow we might not have both or just one.

You definitely probably care about a woman's health, does that mean that tomorrow if she has a long term chronic health problems you'll leave? Obviously not, well I hope not.

If her chronic disease means she's not able to satisfy my sexual needs, then I'll probably take a second wife and still support her both financially and emotionally.. But anyway young guys who are university students don't have much money and if girls their age are only looking to get with a well off guy then the dating pool be narrow and there will be a gap between the genders, so it's best to also focus on other characteristics, if you marry you don't even need to get kids straight away but you can plan your family together and eventually reach each of your goals as time progresses.