I married my first cousin

[World]

My parents are 15th cousins and even their sub clans were prohibited from marrying until 100 years ago. Rules like this sort of tell me it's not all that common. And that practices of cousin marriage vary depending on region and change over time.

A study done on the Dhulbahante of 89 marriages, showed that of those who married within Dhulbahante, none of them married within their sub clan. Basically no inbreeding at all. Nomads know the risks of marrying cousins since they can see the effects it has on their herd.

(Ioan M. Lewis, Blood and Bone: The Call of Kinship in Somali Society).

I think that back home, cousin marriages have increased since the civil war though.

 

[Lostbox]

My first female cousins from both my mom and dad side are literary midgets. They all 5'2 or 5'3 and full of energy

Most somali women are taller then average. Why they all so short? Not nice

Thank goodness cousin marriages are rare in my family

 

[Angelina]

My parents are 15th cousins and even their sub clans were prohibited from marrying until 100 years ago. Rules like this sort of tell me it's not all that common. And that practices of cousin marriage vary depending on region, mirco-culture and change over time.

I was reading the 'First footsteps in East Africa' and there was a part in which the author notes that Somalis didn't particularly like cousin marriages like the Arabs. This was Burton's observation of Somalis in the 1850s. Whilst our ancestors may not have completely understood the health issues that could come about with regards to cousin marriages, they didn't like cousin marriages due to the fact that marriage was a lot more beneficial if they were able form ties and connections with other families and clans which strenghned their position in society.

Before the war my family were wary as cousin marriages can break up families in the case of divorce or on-going disputes between couples. However, I've noticed amongst my relatives back home that cousin marriages increased a lot more after the war. I think the war has made people distrusting, so there is this idea that with a cousin, you know he/she's family a lot better and therefore, they will treat you better. In theory, that may seem true but reality shows otherwise.

 

[durwa]

I didnt grow up with my cousins. But I do know their parents and the kind upbringing they had

As for if it doesn't work out... thats why Allah made divorce halal but Alxamdulilah I married a submissive and obedient wife who apologises even if she's in the wrong

And what motivated you to make such a decision? Many people come from good looking families but are not attracted to their relatives. Aren't you afraid of genetic anomalies or causing family rifts if you marry your relative and it doesn't work out.

I have seen problematic outcomes from relative marriages such as kids with a greater likelihood for disability to family feuds and higher rate of physical health problems and mental illness. You essentially reduce reproductive fitness and increase odds of a number of health conditions: cystic fibrosis, thalassemia, down’s syndrome, heart diseases, autism, blindness, deafness, neurodegenerative diseases and rare genetic disorders.

Good thing the generations before me aint related and my wife is half somali my main concern was ruining family relations but those doubts lessen everyday I found the perfect girl and I'm a decent guy, notin can go wrong.

Do you realize Arab societies especially in the Gulf would marry their cousins because they were isolated and would marry who they meet? I doubt access to unrelated individuals was your problem. Also some communities practiced paternal line cross cousin marriage in order to preserve wealth within a family. Their primary reason was being motivated by access and/or finances.

I felt isolated with all the women using me for my money. The last girl I dated tried to extort me to pay for her brothers wedding under the disguise of buying a 5k dress. Istikhara and with the help of Allah all her plans were revealed. And when I cut things off I found out she was a divorcee,its calm, but why would a divorcee ask for 20k mehr. She shouldve also told me this when I asked her if she had xarir. Its a crazy dunya and I decided to settle for my cousin

 

[durwa]

Disgusting.

You are a low life piece of shit. @durwa

So you're the representative of somalispot...Nice to meet you

 

[Champion]

that's like marrying your sister, you grew up with that girl

 

[durwa]

that's like marrying your sister, you grew up with that girl

No I didn't

 

[Champion]

No I didn't

Regardless, they are close blood. Disgusting. You shouldn't tell anyone you know about this because it's honestly shameful.

 

[durwa]

Regardless, they are close blood. Disgusting. You shouldn't tell anyone you know about this because it's honestly shameful.

If Allah made it halal for me then I couldn't careless what his creation finds disgusting

 

[TekNiKo]

Bro how much did you pay for meher and wedding Im sure it was made easy for you. My 2nd cousin offered marriage to me but I rejected since she had a kid from previous marriage. She told she wish she married within the family, divorce is much less unlikely.

Its quite normal in Somalia so I dont know why these people are all in uproar.

 

[Champion]

If Allah made it halal for me then I couldn't careless what his creation finds disgusting

In April 2002, the Journal of Genetic Counseling released a report which estimated the average risk of birth defects in a child born of first cousins at 1.1–2.0 percentage points over an average base risk for non-cousin couples of 3%, or about the same as that of any woman over age 40.

 

[durwa]

Bro how much did you pay for meher and wedding Im sure it was made easy for you. My 2nd cousin offered marriage to me but I rejected since she had a kid from previous marriage. She told she wish she married within the family, divorce is much less unlikely.

Its quite normal in Somalia so I dont know why these people are all in uproar.

Bro I've never gotten an offer below 15k with all the girls I've dated UPFRONT kawaran my cousin was the first who only asked for hajj, thats it.

 

[TekNiKo]

Bro I've never gotten an offer below 15k with all the girls I've dated UPFRONT kawaran my cousin was the first who only asked for hajj, thats it.

Wa mid iman qabo May Allah bless your marriage! Shes a diamond in the dirt. Very rare indeed.

 

[reer]

Something is awfully wrong if A) you’re attracted to your own cousin

nabiga calayhi salatu wasalm his cousin ayuu guursaday. take your toxic feminism and stick it where the sun dont shine missy.

 

[Farahslayer]

It's permitted in Islam and It's not taboo in somalia only in the west.

It’s definitely taboo and looked down upon for the vast majority.

 

[Material]

It’s definitely taboo and looked down upon for the vast majority.

Tell me where.

 

[Mercury]

It’s definitely taboo and looked down upon for the vast majority.

Whats specially taboo with cousin marriage is divorce

 

[Farahslayer]

Tell me where.

Everywhere outside of reer xamar and Madowweyneethnic groups because they practice a more Arab culture.

 

[Farahslayer]

Whats specially taboo with cousin marriage is divorce

I feel so sorry for the women who divorce their cousins. What happens to the relationship btwn your aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents?

Somalis don’t know how to amicably divorce so I know it’s got to be toxic.

 

[Material]

I feel so sorry for the women who divorce their cousins. What happens to the relationship btwn your aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents?

Somalis don’t know how to amicably divorce so I know it’s got to be toxic.

My Awoowe and my Ayeeyo divorced amicably. Sure it was a struggle for a few years but after it was much better