I'm not OG, but my wife gonna be a 6 feet + tall OG qalanjo who gonna give me kids who go straight to the nba
I fell for a guy who’s taken
- Thread starter Qeelbax
- Start date
Is he somali or not?
Hey sis I never got a notification for being tagged in this thread. I promise I wasn't ignoring you 
First off, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Heartbreak sucks but you have to allow yourself to sit with your emotions for a bit. You will only get stronger from here on out. I think @Sophisticate and @Somali Ugaas gave some really great advice honestly! "If he wanted to, he would" is what you have to remember when you're vetting a man. This phrase may be said a lot but there's a lot of truth in it. I find it weird that this guy didn't let you know that his parents were planning an arranged marriage. Since he's made the decision to go ahead and continue the engagement, then it's best to cut off contact with him. He will only try to lead you on from here on out. As time passes, you will find yourself getting over him. Focus on healing and moving on.
Try to have a sit down with your dad and let him know that you're no longer seeing the guy. I think transparency would be great for this situation. Also let him know that you don't want other family members knowing about your business in the future to prevent this from happening agin.
I hope this helps you
First off, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Heartbreak sucks but you have to allow yourself to sit with your emotions for a bit. You will only get stronger from here on out. I think @Sophisticate and @Somali Ugaas gave some really great advice honestly! "If he wanted to, he would" is what you have to remember when you're vetting a man. This phrase may be said a lot but there's a lot of truth in it. I find it weird that this guy didn't let you know that his parents were planning an arranged marriage. Since he's made the decision to go ahead and continue the engagement, then it's best to cut off contact with him. He will only try to lead you on from here on out. As time passes, you will find yourself getting over him. Focus on healing and moving on.
Try to have a sit down with your dad and let him know that you're no longer seeing the guy. I think transparency would be great for this situation. Also let him know that you don't want other family members knowing about your business in the future to prevent this from happening agin.
I hope this helps you
You got played by a f***boi
, how did your friends not warn you. Either they’re not good friends or they’re really innocent.Hey sis I never got a notification for being tagged in this thread. I promise I wasn't ignoring you
First off, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Heartbreak sucks but you have to allow yourself to sit with your emotions for a bit. You will only get stronger from here on out. I think @Sophisticate and @Somali Ugaas gave some really great advice honestly! "If he wanted to, he would" is what you have to remember when you're vetting a man. This phrase may be said a lot but there's a lot of truth in it. I find it weird that this guy didn't let you know that his parents were planning an arranged marriage. Since he's made the decision to go ahead and continue the engagement, then it's best to cut off contact with him. He will only try to lead you on from here on out. As time passes, you will find yourself getting over him. Focus on healing and moving on.
Try to have a sit down with your dad and let him know that you're no longer seeing the guy. I think transparency would be great for this situation. Also let him know that you don't want other family members knowing about your business in the future to prevent this from happening agin.
I hope this helps you
The guy was dishonest which doesn't bode well for a relationship even if he wasn't engaged. If he could lie about this imagine what else.
Agreed she could just tell her family this prospect did not meet the cut so the questions about him will cease.
The suggestion of taking time out to heal is important. Whatever she feels for him will be transferred over to someone else in the future and ideally to a man that is honest, brave, and unattached.
Some people will use the obstacles they face as bait to hook you. It’s the classic case of the “if only this, then we could be together.” It’s a sign of someone who isn’t mature enough to take personal responsibility for their life and lacks any sense of accountability.
Agreed she could just tell her family this prospect did not meet the cut so the questions about him will cease.
The suggestion of taking time out to heal is important. Whatever she feels for him will be transferred over to someone else in the future and ideally to a man that is honest, brave, and unattached.
Some people will use the obstacles they face as bait to hook you. It’s the classic case of the “if only this, then we could be together.” It’s a sign of someone who isn’t mature enough to take personal responsibility for their life and lacks any sense of accountability.
- Example 1: If only my parents didn’t force me to be in an arranged marriage to someone, and I like you more than her. I hope you don’t mind if I string you along, extract attention from you in the meantime, and we can see where this goes because you are good placeholder material (just in case this falls apart at the seams). These are the words of an emotionally unavailable man and indicative of opportunism.
- Example 2: If only my financial situation were sorted, we could be married, so do you mind waiting a couple of years? With zero guarantees of anything transpiring. Bear in mind these are Just words. No action is backed behind such statements. Essentially, a time thief. And emotionally unavailable.
She should also remain firm and tell him she has zero interest in being involved in an ‘emotional affair’ and to leave her alone indefinitely. No one should want someone like that as a number one let alone a backup plan.
Same here. I don't seem to get every mention and occasionally miss notifications.Hey sis I never got a notification for being tagged in this thread. I promise I wasn't ignoring you
Amber
A blessed human
Insha Allah you'll get over him, you were never meant to be with him <33 You and your soulmate's name was written in the sky together thousands of years ago, be patient and Allah will give you someone that is even BETTER than him
Be the strong and resilient person you are and believe you can do great things alone, I know you have the power to do so
Omine god I'm so sorry that I haven't responded quicker, but walashey I highly advise to get new friends what kind of "friends" will mock you when you're going through such a hard time. I know it's easier said than done, but forget about him the guy obviously doesn't deserve you if he is a grown man that can't even make his down decisions, you're still young and vert smart you can get much better man.
About the family part, just tell them to the truth but don't go in to too much details (you know somalis and their gossips) try to focus on your person life and find new things to enjoy so that you can get distracted in the meantime.
About the family part, just tell them to the truth but don't go in to too much details (you know somalis and their gossips) try to focus on your person life and find new things to enjoy so that you can get distracted in the meantime.
Odious Delirium
VIP
100% not otherwise she would have said so and he's apparently being forced to get married so he's probably some type of south Asian they tend to move like this. Entertaining girls while engaged.
JackieBurkhart
The years don't matter, the life in those years do
Man, I feel bad. Are they really known to be players?
CALMONE20###
Roots in Somaliland + Somali Region ✝️
Basically muslim men. Muslim men two time girls and they also commit zina with kufaar women and look down on them.
Odious Delirium
VIP
Yes some do some don't. I can't speak for every Muslim guy out there but my circle isn't like that. I know literally 100+ guys and can vouch for them so really it's down to the crowd your with and who you gravitate towards or pull towards yourself. If you want to avoid guys who are two timing and committing zina and everything else. You got to curate your environment and meet the standards yourself of what you expect and background checkup is important but that only really works within the community. Unless you have deep connections in other communities it will be hard to know if there legit or not which seems to have been the case here. If the guy was somali I'm sure she would have found out way before hand that he had a fiancée but she didn't because she isn't a part of his community.
CALMONE20###
Roots in Somaliland + Somali Region ✝️
Tbh though most (diaspora) somali men can't be trusted. They either bash us or go around committing zina. They also leave their wives to remarry some girl back home.
Odious Delirium
VIP
That's not true. Your talking of a minority a loud one but still a minority with in the community plus are we talking about our generation or the older ones? Because we can't conflate the two. No one in our generation is married then divorced and getting multiple wives back home. Especially not on a large enough scale were it can be deemed a major issue with and a problem somali men are facing
CALMONE20###
Roots in Somaliland + Somali Region ✝️
I mean older somali men and diaspora ones either insult us or are zaanis. I honestly dislike most somali men.
Odious Delirium
VIP
Are you being insulted by the men around you in your life as in the average somali guy around you goes out of his way to disrespect you or those other somali women around you or is out here committing zina and you know that for a fact?
If that's the case then yeah I don't blame you for feeling that way about somali men but is that the case?
Or are we talking about a few anonymous trolls online who are insulting somali women and dragging somali mens image as a whole through the dirt?
CALMONE20###
Roots in Somaliland + Somali Region ✝️
It's the manchild pricks on here as well as:
My oldest brother would always insult me (call me dumb and a retard) also he would hit me as a teenager. My father insulted me too,calling me stupid and worthless.
Odious Delirium
VIP
The hate is understandable. You have your own personal bad experiences. I hope things are going well for you now.
All I can say is we aren't all like that but your feelings are valid and I can't really change how you want to feel
