I fell for a guy who’s taken

[Qeelbax]

Disclaimer: This is not a bait thread and I’m being 100% honest. This is kinda embarrassing to talk about but my friends are clowning me and not helping me out, so here I am. I’m not gonna mention how I met him or anything about him or his background so don’t ask.

I’m not gonna write too much but I feel for a guy who’s taken. I met this guy like a year ago but I only actually started talking to him in the summer. Within a few months, I went from liking him to Liking him. now I’m head over heels for him and I found out 3 weeks ago he’s fucking engaged.

I feel shameless but I’m still not over him. I never liked a guy so much. He told me he didn’t want to get married and got pressured to get married but he’s not with it. The last text I sent him was “f*ck off back to your fiance”.

I’m highkey heartbroken for the first time in my life. I blocked him but he’s still at it. I won’t say why but I believe that he was pressured to get married, actually I know it’s a fact but he’s a grown ass men, that doesn’t mean shit.

What’s even worse is that I lowkey told my dad that I had a guy I liked and he told my uncle. My uncle called me yesterday asking me when we’ll meet him. I’m fucking embarrassed. Why can’t my fam act like those other somali fams that pretend there’s no wali! If one of my uncles know then all my aunts and uncles will know. Is this what ceeb is? If I’m gone from sspot for over 2 days then I’ve committed suicide.

What do I do?

@Admin you need to give us an anonymous option

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[SociallyAwkwardFarax]

Wow, I didn’t think our tomboy qeelbax could ever get in her feels like this, are we finally entering your romance arc

 

[Qeelbax]

Wow, I didn’t think our tomboy qeelbax could ever get in her feels like this, are we finally entering your romance arcView attachment 255617

A man is the first reply to a post in the womens den

I’m in my emotional era so give me some space danyeeryahow. I have a lot of pent up anger in me so you better watch it. I’m at my max consumption of BS this year and it’s only February

 

[Dualke]

Aren't you 19?

 

[Qeelbax]

Aren't you 19?

Yes damn it, how is that relevant? My mom tried to get me married to a Saudi guy when I was 18.

 

[Yaraye]

Disclaimer: This is not a bait thread and I’m being 100% honest. This is kinda embarrassing to talk about but my friends are clowning me and not helping me out, so here I am. I’m not gonna mention how I met him or anything about him or his background so don’t ask.

I’m not gonna write too much but I feel for a guy who’s taken. I met this guy like a year ago but I only actually started talking to him in the summer. Within a few months, I went from liking him to Liking him. now I’m head over heels for him and I found out 3 weeks ago he’s fucking engaged.

I feel shameless but I’m still not over him. I never liked a guy so much. He told me he didn’t want to get married and got pressured to get married but he’s not with it. The last text I sent him was “f*ck off back to your fiance”.

I’m highkey heartbroken for the first time in my life. I blocked him but he’s still at it. I won’t say why but I believe that he was pressured to get married, actually I know it’s a fact but he’s a grown ass men, that doesn’t mean shit.

What’s even worse is that I lowkey told my dad that I had a guy I liked and he told my uncle. My uncle called me yesterday asking me when we’ll meet him. I’m fucking embarrassed. Why can’t my fam act like those other somali fams that pretend there’s no wali! If one of my uncles know then all my aunts and uncles will know. Is this what ceeb is? If I’m gone from sspot for over 2 days then I’ve committed suicide.

What do I do?

@Admin you need to give us an anonymous option

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Mashallah sis It’s a good thing you told him to fu*k off. The guy may talk about being pressured and all but if one truly didn’t want to get married, they won’t. That’s why there is the saying: If there is a will, there is a way. That bastard is trying to have his cake and eat it too. He wants both you and the fiancée. Don’t give in. I understand it’s hard, but all wounds heal with time. Read up on Quran and make dua for allah to bring peace to your . Pick up hobbies and you will eventually forget the guy. Remember there is plenty of fishes in the sea. As for you family, just tell them that you found out something bad about him and you don’t like him no more. That’ll stop the talking. To your father tell him that this was something you trusted with him and he ran and blabbed his mouth. Let him know that you aren’t telling him shit anymore. Let him know that he caused you ceeb and he lost your trust. That will guilt trip him into not open his mouth about private shit in fear of you doing something behind his back.

@Admin please fix my notifications. I’m not getting notifications when someone mentions me or @ me.

 

[Yaraye]

Disclaimer: This is not a bait thread and I’m being 100% honest. This is kinda embarrassing to talk about but my friends are clowning me and not helping me out, so here I am. I’m not gonna mention how I met him or anything about him or his background so don’t ask.

I’m not gonna write too much but I feel for a guy who’s taken. I met this guy like a year ago but I only actually started talking to him in the summer. Within a few months, I went from liking him to Liking him. now I’m head over heels for him and I found out 3 weeks ago he’s fucking engaged.

I feel shameless but I’m still not over him. I never liked a guy so much. He told me he didn’t want to get married and got pressured to get married but he’s not with it. The last text I sent him was “f*ck off back to your fiance”.

I’m highkey heartbroken for the first time in my life. I blocked him but he’s still at it. I won’t say why but I believe that he was pressured to get married, actually I know it’s a fact but he’s a grown ass men, that doesn’t mean shit.

What’s even worse is that I lowkey told my dad that I had a guy I liked and he told my uncle. My uncle called me yesterday asking me when we’ll meet him. I’m fucking embarrassed. Why can’t my fam act like those other somali fams that pretend there’s no wali! If one of my uncles know then all my aunts and uncles will know. Is this what ceeb is? If I’m gone from sspot for over 2 days then I’ve committed suicide.

What do I do?

@Admin you need to give us an anonymous option

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As for the aunts and uncles, just tell them that your father and uncle are exaggerating Deny deny deny

 

[Barni]

@Admin please mix my notifications. I’m not getting notifications when someone mentions me or @ me.

Same here @Admin

 

[Barni]

Can’t lie sis the second you told ur abo what’s going on u made some irreversible damage. I must say try and get ur dad & uncle to keep it to themselves, by saying u don’t want this news to come out early & to protect urself from evil eye. It should work considering how superstitious somalis are. As for the guy I get weird vibe. Do u personally know the fiancé? Did he mention her thoughts on their engagement?

 

[Dualke]

Yes damn it, how is that relevant? My mom tried to get me married to a Saudi guy when I was 18.

I was just confused on why you were planning on marriage so early. Feel bad for what happened tho

 

[Garaad diinle]

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[Bundasliga]

Sorry that I didn't tell you I was engaged....

 

[Journey.]

He must've known about the girl and him dragging you along and not disclosing things beforehand is a huge red flag. Also, I'm sure you want to marry a man who is independent and responsible for himself, not one who has no control over his life and is at the mercy of his family.

With time you'll get over this and the red flags will be more and more visible, then you'll be grateful it never worked out إنشاء الله.

In future, when considering a potential make sure both families are aware and on board. This way you don't waste your time or catch feelings for someone who isn't serious/committed or who either your/his family don't approve of.

 

[World]

are u just gonna let another girl take your man? i didn’t expect that from u @Qeelbax

 

[Lowkey]

Disclaimer: This is not a bait thread and I’m being 100% honest. This is kinda embarrassing to talk about but my friends are clowning me and not helping me out, so here I am. I’m not gonna mention how I met him or anything about him or his background so don’t ask.

I’m not gonna write too much but I feel for a guy who’s taken. I met this guy like a year ago but I only actually started talking to him in the summer. Within a few months, I went from liking him to Liking him. now I’m head over heels for him and I found out 3 weeks ago he’s fucking engaged.

I feel shameless but I’m still not over him. I never liked a guy so much. He told me he didn’t want to get married and got pressured to get married but he’s not with it. The last text I sent him was “f*ck off back to your fiance”.

I’m highkey heartbroken for the first time in my life. I blocked him but he’s still at it. I won’t say why but I believe that he was pressured to get married, actually I know it’s a fact but he’s a grown ass men, that doesn’t mean shit.

What’s even worse is that I lowkey told my dad that I had a guy I liked and he told my uncle. My uncle called me yesterday asking me when we’ll meet him. I’m fucking embarrassed. Why can’t my fam act like those other somali fams that pretend there’s no wali! If one of my uncles know then all my aunts and uncles will know. Is this what ceeb is? If I’m gone from sspot for over 2 days then I’ve committed suicide.

What do I do?

@Admin you need to give us an anonymous option

Spoiler

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Shawty tagged every girl on sspot. Never take advice from a woman.

let us boys help you

 

[Somali Saayid]

Wow......

First and foremost you dodged a bullet if this man didn't tell you he was engaged until 3 weeks ago, that's a horrible thing to do but you admit it yourself e "he's a grown ass man and that doesn't mean shit"; If this man cannot stand up to his family to prevent himself from taking one of the most important of his life, ask yourself "is he really the one for me"? If his family for example God forbid did something to your rep or image could you count on him to stand by your side? I've seen this in so many articles, If man can't stand up to you or his family, he isn't ready to get married.

Second,
I think we say this everytime but we MUST always vet the person who you might plan to live your life with forever. Have they ever done anything in the past, how is their relationship with their family, are they still hitting up an ex or a "side", do they have a criminal record. When I say vet I don't only mean personality or tendencies, I mean everything. Inshallah next time you will get someone worthy.

Third;
What your dad did is wrong, try to sit down with him and tell him how you feel but also mention what kind of a social position he put you in. As for your family, tell them it is just our dhaqan to exaggerate small details and then continue peddling that until they accept it

Fourth and Finally,
Don't feel bad there are hundreds, thousands of other people who might be eligible suitors. One of them might be the one who fills that hole, that waiting. Allah has a plan for all of us, you too. Take a break and relax for a little bit, preferably a day. If you do have any other important events coming back make sure to prepare but for the most part try an get some R&R
(Rest and Relaxation).

-The All Wise Supreme Ugaas

 

[a_bilan]

The admin need to fix the @ notification. I didn’t see this in my notifications!

I’m not gonna write too much but I feel for a guy who’s taken. I met this guy like a year ago but I only actually started talking to him in the summer. Within a few months, I went from liking him to Liking him. now I’m head over heels for him and I found out 3 weeks ago he’s fucking engaged.

This whole situation seems like a heartache, I’m sorry abaayo.
I honestly don’t know what you should tell your dad &uncle… hopefully they stop bringing him up.

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[SPMLegend]

If he’s not Ogaden then he’s not worth crying over sister @Qeelbax

 

[SPMLegend]

Can you confirm if this man is either Pakistani or Bengali? I have never heard of a Somali man being forced into a marriage with a partner he dislikes. Usually, it's the females from back home. Somali men tend to make decisions with more tenacity and authority. We dislike being told what to do unless we have already agreed upon and made plans for it. If this so-called man allows his family to have an impact on his marriage, he was a beta male from the start. Stop this nonsense and cut him loose.

 

[Sophisticate]

As long as you are single a man is replaceable.

Time away from him will allow you to psychologically detach from him. Eventually everything you fell for will turn into indifference. Just ride the wave of sadness for a bit. Speak with your friends that are girls. Entertain revenge scenarios in your head (in the short-term). Try to dislike him for a time.

Write a journal entry on everything you can't stand about him. His self-centredness, penchant for lies, pedestalizing, possessiveness, that he never considers your future ambitions but seems keen on speaking about his ad nauseam. Be creative. Cut all threads of communication to him and do not allow him back into your life. He clearly made his decision by choosing to be engaged. He's also passive aggressive by complaining about his lot to you. He is a grown man not an infant guided by others and its obvious he's emotionally unavailable. Don't invite his drama into your life, choose peace and don't confuse intensity with admiration.​