Imaam al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) reported in his Saheeh that Asma bint Abi Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: I got married to al-Zubayr, and he had no wealth on earth and no slaves, nothing except a camel for bringing water and his horse. I used to feed his horse and bring water, and I used to sew patches on the bucket. I made dough but I was not good at baking bread, so my (female) neighbours among the Ansaar used to bake bread for me, and they were sincere women. I used to bring date pits from al-Zubayrs land that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had given to him, carrying them on my head. This land was two-thirds of a farsakh away. One day I came, carrying the date pits on my head, and I met the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who had a group of the Ansaar with him. He called me and made his camel kneel down, for me to ride behind him, but I felt too shy to go with the men, and I remembered al-Zubayr and his jealousy, for he was the most jealous of people. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) realized that I felt shy, so he moved on. I came to al-Zubayr and told him, I met the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when I was carrying date pits on my head, and he had a group of his companions with him. He made his camel kneel down for me to ride with him, but I remembered your jealousy. He said, By Allaah, it bothers me more that you have to carry the date pits than that you should ride with him. Asma said: After that, Abu Bakr sent me a servant to take care of the horse, and it was as if I had been liberated from slavery.
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 9/319).
Ibn al-Qayyim said, concerning the story of Asma: When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw Asma with the date pits on her head, and her husband al-Zubayr was with her, he did not tell him that she did not have to serve him, or that this was unfair to her. He approved of her serving him and of all the women among the Sahaabah helping their husbands. This is a matter concerning which there is no doubt.
This is far beyond simply cooking and cleaning. Why didn’t the Prophet(SAW) condemn this incident if it’s not a woman’s role?