Husband takes on second wife, but lives to regret it. What advice you giving him?

[Angelina]

We all appreciate Barbra the builder. Don't let these stories discourage you.

Unfortunately, these stories are universal. From cadaan women helping husband through law/medical school to Somali habos who even sold their gold as young women to help their husbands start businesses to only find that once their husband has a bit more cash and they can finally put their feet up and relax with hubby after years of financial struggle, he’s married a younger version whom he now wants to spoil instead.

A lot of guys don’t want to hear this, but unfortunately selfishness is rife amongst many men. Many have been raised to put themselves first. It’s a fact of life.

 

[Yaraye]

I agree but at the same time, the easiest way to find a man that will end up doing well is Uni. Getting a medical student, law or economics graduate at a top school ect. But in saying that, it can pose the question, are you truly his real type? People don’t realize this but men can be intimidated by very conveniently beautiful women and whilst he is trying to climb the ladder, be may settle for a whom he believes is simply ‘ok’ attraction wise.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[ina-cilmi]

This is why it’s discouraged in the Quran.

it isn't.

but some scholars do agree with you that it is better for a man to be content with one.

While others say that the principle is polygyny due to Allah's saying in the Qur'an starting with 2 and then 3 and then 4, with 1 being what one must do if he cannot uphold justice.

Either way, not all situations shall be the same. In one case it may be better for the man to be content with one while for another man it may be beneficial to take more wives.

proof for my statement above:

 

[Kisame]

Unfortunately, these stories are universal. From cadaan women helping husband through law/medical school to Somali habos who even sold their gold as young women to help their husbands start businesses to only find that once their husband has a bit more cash and they can finally put their feet up and relax with hubby after years of financial struggle, he’s married a younger version whom he now wants to spoil instead.

A lot of guys don’t want to hear this, but unfortunately selfishness is rife amongst many men. Many have been raised to put themselves first. It’s a fact of life.

The same way y'all tell men to ignore red pill bs you women also need to ignore this red pill foolishness @Yaraye

Stop waiting at the finish line for these niggas.

Give guled the security guard a chance.

 

[Angelina]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

It is common for them to have regret, that's why all those odays always come crying and begging when their first wife leaves or doesn't show emotion. I think for a lot of them, it's just about their ego, and comparing the wives in terms of how they make them feel. It's all ME, ME, ME. Selfish little boys, mac sonkor.

I hope she does remarry and pays him dust.

 

[Mudug_gyal]

it isn't.

but some scholars do agree with you that it is better for a man to be content with one.

While others say that the principle is polygyny due to Allah's saying in the Qur'an starting with 2 and then 3 and then 4, with 1 being what one must do if he cannot uphold justice.

Either way, not all situations shall be the same. In one case it may be better for the man to be content with one while for another man it may be beneficial to take more wives.

proof for my statement above:

Surah 4 ayah 129. Its better to refrain from polygyny because being equal is hard. A lot of houses are broken down because men want polygyny. The prophet forbade Ali from marrying a second wife because it hurt his daughter Fatima.

 

[ina-cilmi]

it isn't.

but some scholars do agree with you that it is better for a man to be content with one.

While others say that the principle is polygyny due to Allah's saying in the Qur'an starting with 2 and then 3 and then 4, with 1 being what one must do if he cannot uphold justice.

Either way, not all situations shall be the same. In one case it may be better for the man to be content with one while for another man it may be beneficial to take more wives.

proof for my statement above:

some more proof for what I said

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Spoiler: !!

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Angelina]

The same way y'all tell men to ignore red pill bs you women also need to ignore this red pill foolishness @Yaraye

Stop waiting at the finish line for these niggas.

Give guled the security guard a chance.

That’s the thing, most don’t, hence why we have a surplus of stories like this.

 

[Yaraye]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[marcellady]

This is why it’s important to be content with what you have. He had a loving wife and he gave that all away for whimsical reasons

 

[ina-cilmi]

Surah 4 ayah 129. Its better to refrain from polygyny because being equal is hard. A lot of houses are broken down because men want polygyny. The prophet forbade Ali from marrying a second wife because it hurt his daughter Fatima.

again, its a matter of difference of opinion. If you incline more towards the opinion that it is better for a man to be content with one woman, scholars have perceded you in this and theres absolutely no issue with you taking this opinion.

there are reasons as to why the prophet ﷺ forbade 'Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) from this. it is not due to plural marriages in general being discouraged.

read this if you are interested:

https://islamqa.info/en/answers/162287/why-did-the-prophet-blessings-and-peace-of-allah-be-upon-him-not-allow-ali-ibn-abi-taalib-to-take-a-second-wife-when-he-was-married-to-faatimah-may-allah-be-pleased-with-them-both

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Spoiler: !!

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Mudug_gyal]

some more proof for what I said

The shafici and hanbali madhab said its preferable to stick to one wife. I think we should take their advice.

 

[Yaraye]

Spoiler: !!

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Spoiler: !!

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Bebsi]

Mac Sokor

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

This is why it’s important to be content with what you have. He had a loving wife and he gave that all away for whimsical reasons

The only reason he's upset is because his first wife didn't care, and left him. If she was the one that was crying, he'd be happy about it. I've noticed this about polygamous men, they get off on the thought of being fought over and desired by multiple women. What they really deserve is cold/indifferent treatment by all the women involved.

I've even seen men that refused to remarry when their first wives suggested it. LMAO
A good number of them, can't take it when there is no jealousy.

 

[Mudug_gyal]

again, its a matter of difference of opinion. If you incline more towards the opinion that it is better for a man to be content with one woman, scholars have perceded you in this and theres absolutely no issue with you taking this opinion.

there are reasons as to why the prophet ﷺ forbade 'Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) from this. it is not due to plural marriages in general being discouraged.

read this if you are interested:

https://islamqa.info/en/answers/162287/why-did-the-prophet-blessings-and-peace-of-allah-be-upon-him-not-allow-ali-ibn-abi-taalib-to-take-a-second-wife-when-he-was-married-to-faatimah-may-allah-be-pleased-with-them-both

So the prophet AS forbade the marriage because she was the daughter of abu jahl not because of fatima getting hurt in the process? What if it was another woman, would the prophet have fobade it?