How Many Years after Marriage is Ideal to Have Children?

I say give birth as soon as possible when you are physically capable of having children without harm, and have as many children as you possibly can. The more Muslims have children, the better it is since you are growing this Ummah and we need to increase our birth rates to have a powerful influence in any land Muslims reside in. So if you are able to give birth to 14 children then give birth to 14 children. If your body is strong enough to give birth to more children then I would recommend doing that as well.

Abu Dawood (2050) narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yasaar said: A man came to the Prophet and said, “I have found a woman who is of good lineage and is beautiful, but she does not bear children. Should I marry her?” He said, “No.” Then he came again with the same question and he told him not to marry her. Then he came a third time with the same question and he said: “Marry those who are loving and fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers before the other nations.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1784.

This Hadith indicates that it is encouraged to marry women who are fertile, so that the numbers of the ummah will increase, and so the Prophet ﷺ will feel proud of his ummah before all other nations. This shows that it is encouraged to have a lot of children.


Ur answer lacks hikma.
When u have a religious ruling you need to be apply it in different circumstances and situations and understand the different rulings that come about because of that. Although the principle you stated is correct the application is completely wrong, with all due respect leave these questions for people of knowledge to answer as they will have a comprehensive knowledge of the entire religion and state of affairs for our ummah now to apply them properly. Some problems with your reply.
1.Having as many children as possible will hinder other things in your life, like your health, like prioritising time to specific children and raising them properly, and taking care of them.
2.Having alot of children especially in the west makes it more difficult to raise properly,most will be sent to schools to be educated on nonsense and learn manners from non-muslims for a good 20 years of their life, having more children makes it harder to de-brainwash them
3.Not all women have the patience for having that many children nor does the people around them, it may not be feasible to support all their children
4.Woman should try have as many children as they can as long as they can raise them properly, I think it depends on time and place, its specific to each woman, there is an obvious trend of Muslims in west having less and less children which i am completely against, but you still have to understand everyone is different. The ideal birthrate for Muslims should be around 5-6, and there should be proper support for mothers by their family and wider society which right now there is not.
 
advising halimos not to have kids because it will occupy their livelihoods
I advise the opposite.
You do not understand my post. I am preparing them mentally, I am not discouraging it, Im not gonna lie to them so they can have kids and then be exposed to the reality
 
why should a halimo concentrate on a career that on average lasts 30ish years and work hard for a random employer when she can have kids and look after her family instead who will be there for her until she dies?
Never advocated for her to concentrate on her career. u misread my post
 
First year tf.


Off people threads and responses clearly something wrong with alot of you when it comes to relationships lol unrealistic
I think it depends on your age walal. Some of us are just starting our jobs and want to be in a better financial situation before starting a family. Also side note why do people think no children in the first year means lack of/or problems with intimacy? There will be no such thing. In fact, delaying children for one year at least so me and hubby can enjoy all the fruits of marriage sounds better. :banderas:
 
Tbh they acc do stop all of those things. They make everything difficult, u wont even get a proper nights sleep, wont even have any free time for yourself for most of your life let alone for u marriage.
When u have kids u are sacrificing your whole life, U just gotta accept it.
That’s a defeatist attitude. My mentality is different. I don’t see kids taking my time as a sacrifice. On the contrary, I would cherish all the time I have with them.
 

Hodan from HR

Just smile and wave
VIP
Hodan quraxeey, I'm no expert whatsoever just blunt. If a xalimo I'm married to tells me she wanna have her first baby 5years later ..... :kodaksmiley:


Hhhhh.... but I don't understand walaal.

Is this a matter of male ego like raganima daada is not getting acknowledged or a matter of the heart, you would start doubting she loves you if she is not birthing babies as soon as possible? :stressed:
 

mr.overeasy

The most eggcelent member
I shied from dating coz of how quickly somali men propose. I always thought marriage equals to babies esp in our community. So it felt wrong to led on someone's son when I am not ready for motherhood. But I also want to enjoy all the other perks that comes with being in a halal marriage; having a trusted friend, a lover, travel buddy etc you feel me?

Anyways, is 5 years too long to wait having babies? How many years would you say is ideal?
year 1 fam, I need to have my kids grow up fast enough so that what remains of my youth could be used in their youngest years.

I don't want to be having to deal with kids when I get joint pain and low energy.
 

Radical

Joined: Aug 16, 2025
I'll aim for those perfect, critical hits at around 60 years of age. If things take an unforeseen turn, and the good lord takes me away, then all is well.

A bit unfortunate though, as it would be a waste of good genes.
 
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