How Many Years after Marriage is Ideal to Have Children?

[Taij4an]

But at least it's for the sake of Allah, people shouldn't see children as a waste of time or some object that leeching their life away from them, honestly, people should have children for the sake of Allah, and that's when they'll be raised properly.

That's the only reason people SHOULD have children for the sake of Allah, people have children for other selfish reasons though
Cultural pressures
Got a girl accident pregnant
Just something that happened as a result of them living life, didn't put any thought into it
They have a maternal instinct to have children and love something so they have children to fill their internal desire
Very few people have children for the right reason, which is why most people fail to be good parents.
Children are a burden on their parents and suck the life and energy out of them, they require great sacrifice to go through, if you go through with the wrong intention you will ruin yourself and your children.
You need to have children not expecting them to make you happy or be easy, you should do it for the sake of Allah and always remember why you are doing it, it is a sacrifice but with every sacrifice comes a reward, the reward for righteous children is great, it is the sunnah of the prophets to have children, no one should shun having children as they provide great benefit to you in the akhirah.
The problem is most(not all) of you guys and I am not trying to be rude, you are not religiously inclined or care that much about the akhirah so being patient upon doing something difficult is gonna be way more difficult for you.
Correct your intention first.
Imagine you give birth to a child with special needs may Allah protect us all from that, there is a chance it could happen and that is going to suck double the energy out of you than if your child was healthy, you may resent your kids or whoever pressured you into having children. You need to prepare for the worst possible scenario

 

[Hodan from HR]

I heard if family from both sides find your not expecting 3 months in they ask questions.

Especially if your both Somali.

Hhhh.. esp mother in law and habo will be all over your business and assume yall infertile

 

[NordicSomali]

The pressure to have kids would mostly come from grandparents, you can probably make sense of 1 year of postponing.

 

[lilmoon]

That's the only reason people SHOULD have children for the sake of Allah, people have children for other selfish reasons though
Cultural pressures
Got a girl accident pregnant
Just something that happened as a result of them living life, didn't put any thought into it
They have a maternal instinct to have children and love something so they have children to fill their internal desire
Very few people have children for the right reason, which is why most people fail to be good parents.
Children are a burden on their parents and suck the life and energy out of them, they require great sacrifice to go through, if you go through with the wrong intention you will ruin yourself and your children.
You need to have children not expecting them to make you happy or be easy, you should do it for the sake of Allah and always remember why you are doing it, it is a sacrifice but with every sacrifice comes a reward, the reward for righteous children is great, it is the sunnah of the prophets to have children, no one should shun having children as they provide great benefit to you in the akhirah.
The problem is most(not all) of you guys and I am not trying to be rude, you are not religiously inclined or care that much about the akhirah so being patient upon doing something difficult is gonna be way more difficult for you.
Correct your intention first.
Imagine you give birth to a child with special needs may Allah protect us all from that, there is a chance it could happen and that is going to suck double the energy out of you than if your child was healthy, you may resent your kids or whoever pressured you into having children. You need to prepare for the worst possible scenario

And you know what, people genuinely have the nerve to kill children in their wombs with no valid reason. And that disgusts me even more.

 

[Abdisamad]

My 2 reasons;

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When the timing is right, I would love to have my own biological children as well as adopt, inshallah

Fair enough.. It all makes sense

 

[Jungle]

First year tf.


Off people threads and responses clearly something wrong with alot of you when it comes to relationships lol unrealistic

 

[Abdisamad]

Hhhh.. esp mother in law and habo will be all over your business and assume yall infertile

Every 6 months they'll check if you are pregnant and come with hints why your not bearing a child yet.. I hope you are prepared for that

 

[Hodan from HR]

First year tf.


Off people threads and responses clearly something wrong with alot of you when it comes to relationships lol unrealistic

We are clearly inexperienced.
Bestow us your wisdom and knowledge Mr.Expert..

 

[Qeelbax]

2-2.5 years

 

[Hodan from HR]

Every 6 months they'll check if you are pregnant and come with hints why your not bearing a child yet.. I hope you are prepared for that

I'll have to thrown my man under the bus.
Come up with a sob story of how he has ED and we been trying but I love him so much that I'm okay being childless if it means being together for the rest of our lives..

They'll feel soo bad for asking that they'll never bring it up again

 

[Abdisamad]

I'll have to thrown my man under the bus.
Come up with a sob story of how he has ED and we been trying but I love him so much and I'm okay being childless if it means being together for the rest of our lives..

They'll feel soo bad for asking that they'll never bring it up again

Lool.. You are tricky.. Or just gain weight and develop a massive calool and they'll leave you alone

 

[canjeeroiyoshah]

I'll have to thrown my man under the bus.
Come up with a sob story of how he has ED and we been trying but I love him so much and I'm okay being childless if it means being together for the rest of our lives..

They'll feel soo bad for asking that they'll never bring it up again

Meanwhile you've destroyed your husband's reputation as man.

 

[Sheikh Google]

2 years of bashaal and then after that pulling out can be myth. Then again some days one wants kids and then other days it's like Michael Jordan and f*ck them kids.

 

[Hodan from HR]

Meanwhile you've destroyed your husband's reputation as man.

I'll make it up to him.
I wouldn't mind being the sacrificial lamb here but I'm afraid his family will suggest he takes a second wife..

 

[Abdisamad]

Meanwhile you've destroyed your husband's reputation as man.

@Hodan from HR

Thinks they'll give up.. I bet they'll be feeding him habad sowda (black seed) and other kind of natural herbs to give him extra strength and he'll turn into a bull .. Poor Hodan

 

[Jungle]

We are clearly inexperienced.
Bestow us your wisdom and knowledge Mr.Expert..

Hodan quraxeey, I'm no expert whatsoever just blunt. If a xalimo I'm married to tells me she wanna have her first baby 5years later .....

 

[canjeeroiyoshah]

I'll make it up to him.
I wouldn't mind being the sacrificial lamb here but I'm afraid his family will suggest he takes a second wife..

How are you able to think that far ahead? women are something else.

@Hodan from HR

Thinks they'll give up.. I bet they'll be feeding him habad sowda (black seed) and other kind of natural herbs to give him extra strength and he'll turn into a bull .. Poor Hodan

Return of the Dragon, homie will have her on the ropes.

 

[mrlog]

I think married couples should wait at least one year until trying because you never really know your partner fully until you live with them. However, I am 24 Alhamdullilah so I don’t feel pressure. Ideally I’d like to have children in my late 20s (27+) inshallah.

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[mrlog]

Depends what your view on life is.
Do you just want to enjoy life?
Do you have a deeper reason for doing stuff?
Why do you want to get married in the first place?
Are you ready to sacrifice your entire life and luxury and easy life for a child for the rest of your life?

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[Taij4an]

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What do you think happens to woman when they have children, do you live in the real world?
It isn't what you want but its just life, you can't avoid it