How long can you stay celibate before you implode

[Journey.]

I am a very apathetic person and although I am trying to change that it is a core part of my personality that I cannot change, I do not feel the need or care to love or be loved, it actually confuses me that people care about "being loved" or "wanting to love something" and I usually dismiss it as something weird even though I would be the minority I guess.
I don't know if you need to have feelings to have a successful marriage although I have never been married so I wouldn't know

You said yourself those wanting to love and be loved are the majority so most likely you'll marry someone who desires a loving partner. Not being able to fulfil that will no doubt cause problems in your marriage.

 

[Taij4an]

You said yourself those wanting to love and be loved are the majority so most likely you'll marry someone who desires a loving partner. Not being able to fulfil that will no doubt cause problems in your marriage.

Well then I won't get married

 

[Sophisticate]

For those people, as it wouldn't come as much of a surprise to you, difficulty emotionally connecting to women isn't even something they would care about, in fact they would see it as a positive.
I am still on the fence as to whether I care about emotionally connecting with a women myself.

That's unfortunate.

Yes all men are on a spectrum (not on the spectrum[or are they?]) but in general compared to women men have a much higher need for sex, an average mans hypothalamus is 2.2x bigger than a woman's, so he has around twice the need for sex than an average women.

Take some chaste berry like Monks used to and call it a day.

 

[Goodbye ✌]

Does this account to when u have kids aswell?
Because when you have kids most definitely your life is over

The sister in the podcast finished uni while pregnant, memorized the Quran while raising young children and started a business mashallah. Who says you’re life is over? Don’t limit yourself because nothing is impossible to Allah (swt).

 

[Aegon]

Don't worry bro, go smash some snowbunnies and when you are done and want to settle, stop the relationship and ask your mom to find you a spouse

 

[Taij4an]

memorized the Quran while raising young children and started a business mashallah.

Did she have help raising the child or did she do it by herself?

 

[Taij4an]

Don't worry bro, go smash some snowbunnies and when you are done and want to settle, stop the relationship and ask your mom to find you a spouse

I don't commit zina like a nacas I have standards

 

[Journey.]

Well then I won't get married

Would it really be so difficult/impossible to tolerate love in a marriage?

 

[Goodbye ✌]

Did she have help raising the child or did she do it by herself?

Her mother, mother in law, and husband would help her.

 

[Taij4an]

Her mother, mother in law, and husband would help her.

Mashaallah thats nice

But especially in the west alot of the time we don't have anyone to help raise the kids, Idk If I will have anybody to help it may be my wife doing it by herself

 

[Odious Delirium]

Yh thats not for me.
Too expensive aswell

It's doesn't have to be expensive you can just take her out and stuff that's up to you

 

[Cosmo]

For those people, as it wouldn't come as much of a surprise to you, difficulty emotionally connecting to women isn't even something they would care about, in fact they would see it as a positive.
I am still on the fence as to whether I care about emotionally connecting with a women myself.

I think people like you are the most vulnerable to temptress charms. Because you’re used to being apathetic you will struggle to handle your newfound emotions when you fall in love with a woman

 

[Basra]

Don't have money or time, or mental energy to deal with a woman.

Well work hard when u r single, save money and go find a xaliimo in somalia-- marry her there and let her live with her parents, send her $ 100 every month. I think u can handle that right?

 

[Odious Delirium]

Ur not really married then are u, ur like boyfrienda and girlfriend who meet every 6 months

That's still a marriage you don't want to be celibate so this os the way to do it after your studies you can be around each other everyday and you can still get here to live with you if your family is OK with it and she's also OK with it.

Look at the end of the day if you want to do something you will find a way I know people in worse situations than what you described or similar and there happily married for a couple of years now if you want it to work you will make it work.

I also have a few friends that got married in the last few days in the same situation as me so it's all possible.

 

[Basra]

I think people like you are the most vulnerable to temptress charms. Because you’re used to being apathetic you will struggle to handle your newfound emotions when you fall in love with a woman

 

[Taij4an]

I think people like you are the most vulnerable to temptress charms. Because you’re used to being apathetic you will struggle to handle your newfound emotions when you fall in love with a woman

who sed im going to fall in love with a women?

 

[Taij4an]

That's still a marriage you don't want to be celibate so this os the way to do it after your studies you can be around each other everyday and you can still get here to live with you if your family is OK with it and she's also OK with it.

Look at the end of the day if you want to do something you will find a way I know people in worse situations than what you described or similar and there happily married for a couple of years now if you want it to work you will make it work.

I also have a few friends that got married in the last few days in the same situation as me so it's all possible.

True but for me its just too much effort and hard work to put myself in

 

[Taij4an]

Not really you can grow in marriage. Example https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-digital-sisterhood/id1562999893?i=1000525198059

Jazakallah khair listened to it very benficial

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Islamically there is nothing wrong with divorce. It’s better to be divorced than to have X number of sexual partners/relationships. As long as you are financially capable to support a wife and/or children then go ahead. Some people enter the trades right away and have stable jobs at 22. Of course who you are at 22 is going to be very different from who you are at 28. But if you’ve found your person, and you could provide for them then why not go ahead?

Divorcing is one of of the worst things you can do. It should only be done in extreme cases. There is everything wrong with divorce even if the deen doesn't say so.

 

[Goodbye ✌]

Divorcing is one of of the worst things you can do. It should only be done in extreme cases. There is everything wrong with divorce even if the deen doesn't say so.

Agreed that it should never be done unless all else has failed but sometimes divorce is the only option especially in cases of abuse, and infidelity.