He specified that he's not south asian which makes me think he is
How I got out of my Self hate phase.
- Thread starter Soul Kaizer
- Start date
Khal Mah Oma
Drink shaah
@Gracias
I think you’re being too harsh to op. He makes jokes and a few giggles. I’ve interacted with him in my old account before (way longer you’ve been on this site). . He’s not a self hater at all. I’ve came across a lot of Somalis on this site that claims to be Somali (100%) and say self hating things regarding Somalia and the culture. He ain’t one of those guys that sh*ts on his ethnicity 24/7. He’s more of a jokester user than a self hater but also a smart guy. I don’t think you’d get it since you take everything way too seriously on this site. He’s a chill guy. Does he troll a bit. Sure. But he’s far from being a self hater or ragebaiter.
I think you’re being too harsh to op. He makes jokes and a few giggles. I’ve interacted with him in my old account before (way longer you’ve been on this site). . He’s not a self hater at all. I’ve came across a lot of Somalis on this site that claims to be Somali (100%) and say self hating things regarding Somalia and the culture. He ain’t one of those guys that sh*ts on his ethnicity 24/7. He’s more of a jokester user than a self hater but also a smart guy. I don’t think you’d get it since you take everything way too seriously on this site. He’s a chill guy. Does he troll a bit. Sure. But he’s far from being a self hater or ragebaiter.
Khal Mah Oma
Drink shaah
@Soul Kaizer
I never knew you were mixed. I think is great you’re open with us. Don’t care which parental side you’re from. But I’d recommend to go to Somalia/Somaliland (depending which side your parents are from) and try to get to know the culture.
I never knew you were mixed. I think is great you’re open with us. Don’t care which parental side you’re from. But I’d recommend to go to Somalia/Somaliland (depending which side your parents are from) and try to get to know the culture.
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Jokes aside, don't worry about all this, walaal. Just focus on yourself and life, yeah? You are half Somali no matter what anyone says or does. It's blood and heritage. Can't be changed and nothing at all to be ashamed of. Focus on your studies, career, taking care of your health, building your own family, making good friends, volunteering and being involved in your local community and study your heritage in your free-time in a good-spirited manner.
Don't give any haters the time of day. You only get one life, go live it and stop letting such things take up rent-space in your head. Talk to someone like an Imam and/or a therapist if it gets too hard in terms of bad memories flashing back and stuff. You'll be okay, walaal. Live your life.
Also, proud of you for never playing the jester at your people's expense. Mashallah.
Don't give any haters the time of day. You only get one life, go live it and stop letting such things take up rent-space in your head. Talk to someone like an Imam and/or a therapist if it gets too hard in terms of bad memories flashing back and stuff. You'll be okay, walaal. Live your life.
Also, proud of you for never playing the jester at your people's expense. Mashallah.
Khal Mah Oma
Drink shaah
I wonder if OP goes around and trolls his Chinese or Indian side online or is that only reserved for Somalis? You’re too old to be trolling.
What’s funny about this? I would think it was weird if a full somali said this too. The post above mine is correct, why is he trolling us but not whatever else he’s mixed with?
reer
VIP
the somali race needs you and your knowledge. please marry 4 xalimos and have minimum 20 kids.
Honestly, I used to be a very boisterous and sociable child. Loud and troublesome; the kid who drew a lot of other kids to him and could be friends with every group at school (class clown etc.). Full of life and energy.
I hit puberty and it all went downhill. It's a long story as to why but I went from being a skinny kid to pretty much obese, had developed an overbite due to my habits and diet, suddenly needed glasses at 13 and discovered p*rn around then too. I was still a pretty sociable kid, was never bullied, knew most people around school and still had a stable slew of 4-6 close childhood friends I spent time with but I became reclusive regardless.
Many a weekend was spent not going to the gatherings, events or parties I was invited to and just being on my laptop watching shows, anime and of course reading and watching documentaries. Started with Wikipedia (I was even an editor and know a lot of old Horner wiki editor lore, kekekkee) then perusing books and papers when I discovered the anthropology forums later in my teens.
Became very knowledgeable. Never went down that weird, dark route with p*rn some folks on NoFap forums describe; outlandish shit like watching that crap for hours at a time and developing deeply depraved fetishes. I really was just the "Oh, I'm horny now." *watches for the short duration it takes to orgasm and moves on* sort. Most of my time was honestly spent with all the nerdy shit. But I didn't realize how much p*rn was sapping me and my drive to live life and giving me anxiety and also stealing my innocence and my romantic nature I first had when I first developed an interest in the opposite sex.
In middle of all this at around 13-14 I had gotten myself into shape. I honestly didn't know anything about how to eat correctly. I spent almost a year doing intense cardio and lifting weights but lost pretty much no weight until an oday at the gym asked me what I ate and made me realize I was fighting an uphill battle trying to out-exercise a shitty diet. I cut out all junk food (Burger King, KFC, McD's etc), all juices, all fizzy drinks and just defaulted to only drinking water. Candy and sweets of any kind? Switched out for fruits. Then I just had smaller portions of my traditional bariis iyo basto lunches and switched out my cheese and jam sandwiches for breakfast for omelets or 1 sandwich instead of two and opted for whole wheat over white bread. Dropped 35 kilograms/80 pounds in 6 months and became normal in weight.
That definitely helped with my confidence and such but I didn't clock that my diet was still subpar and definitely feeding my lower energy, my reclusiveness and sudden tendency toward social anxiety which was exacerbated by the internet addiction and p*rn use which I was certainly ashamed of. I was obsessive about the working out and eating, though. I went to the gym every single day for 4 and a half years. Every. Single. Day. I maybe missed 1-3 days a year but I'd double out the next day so that didn't count so for 4.5 years it was every single day.
I did this because I didn't truly know what kept me in shape and leaner. I just habitually ate the same general foods (subway! lol) that were always working and did the same old weight lifting and cardio exercises obsessively. For years I'd be lauded for my "discipline" by adults and peers alike but it wasn't discipline; it was fear. Fear of being fat again. But then I hit my undergrad years and by the middle of my first year I just fell off cos of how busy it got and I developed bad habits like having some subway cookies with my sandwiches for lunch and next thing I knew in a year or so I had gained 22 kilograms/48 pounds. I also had braces on and wore dorky ass glasses.
Beyond this, I realized too late that studying business to run a business (the fam business; long story) was totally unnecessary but I was 1-2 years into the degree and didn't wanna waste my parents' money so I slogged through it depressed-ly. It became too much. The weight gain, the p*rn sapping my energy, the hating my degree program... I was becoming a depressed wreck. Similar to school during my teens; knew a lot of people and was actually quite sociable during my first sem but eventually just became a recluse and didn't participate much beyond 2-4 good friends I'd made and going out with them every few weeks or something. I mostly lived online.
I developed pretty bad anxiety too. So bad that if I saw an elevator take too long at the upper or lower floors I'd run and hide in the staircase and wait for it to sound empty or I'd take an underground parking lot route to the food court. The only good thing I had going for me during this period was running Anthromadness and all the stuff I was learning online. I mostly refrained from dating due to making dumb excuses to myself as to why despite there being clear opportunities. I was wild, wallahi. Would get some girl's number only to never call and get confused looks from her in the halls as to why or somehow subconsciously self-sabotage; deep down didn't feel I was in the right place to see anyone.
Then just 2 years into it I woke up and was like, "I'm doing a disservice to myself and the fam if I graduate a fat, depressed wreck. What am I even gonna do being like this?" so I started trying to dress better, wore contacts over glasses, changed to a similar but somewhat more enjoyable degree program where the credits transferred well-enough for me to finish around the same time and, finally, endeavored to understand nutrition this time around because I wasn't gonna just obsessively eat at subway and eat smaller portions of bariis iyo basto and hope for the best or OBSESSIVELY work out to a point that was utterly neurotic. Human beings were walking around with seemingly washboard abs for 300,000 years; surely it wasn't rocket science to eat and exercise just the right way to be in shape with minimal effort. What paleolithic man was counting calories? Kekekekke.
I eventually stumbled onto low-carb, paleo and later carnivore and just felt amazing once I got to that end-stage diet wise and eventually experimented and factored cardio out completely. Mainly compound lifts and calisthenics (weighted as I grew stronger) mixed with super-sets and full-body training 3-4 days per week. I became a machine quite rapidly in like a year or so. Pull-ups, chin-ups and dips with 45lbs chained to me; all my dumbbell lifts were at 40lbs or more; bench-press, deadlift and leg-press in the 200-440lb range. Veiny biceps, visible abs, 3D delts...
I can't rave enough about this way of eating. I wouldn't be who I am today or have achieved many of the things I have like my Master's without it. Just gives you this insane mental comfort, fortitude and stable energy. Coupled with that I began discovering the NoFap movement and endeavored to quit gooning. That created another weird and insane energy boost and spice for life. I began volunteering, socializing and suddenly I was that little kid again; boisterous, loud, drawing people to me, goofy, funny... I think that kid was always there; I was quite like that on the forums and wiki during my internet recluse days but I just didn't have the energy and self-confidence to be that way in person and my social skills had atrophied.
I became quite popular with the chicas as well, kekekkeke. The physique and my newfound confidence and energy helped for sure. I also regained my childhood innocence; my favorite feature in a woman now (forgive the cheesiness) are her eyes and I love eye-contact, kekekeke. Many a tryst and escapade from 23 to 30 and 5 relationships, one of which was 2.5 years and an engagement that didn't work out. I spent much of those 7 years catching up on life; going to the gatherings and parties, clubbing, dating, driving all around the UAE and seeing as many sites as I could, working my first jobs, trying to start a business with my dad... there were some dark moments but many, many amazing moments as well but in the background the nerd was still there. I just didn't let it take me over like before. I'd read and learn things here and there in my free-time like when I'd shoot the shit on this site. And now I'm back to posting all these years later.
But the point of the long story, @soul Kaizer—if you are not a troll, walaal—is that, believe me, a lot of the anxiety, mental health distress and overthinking just melts away when you take care of yourself. Go out, spend time with friends, eat good food, read books, don't goon, don't drink, don't smoke (pot counts), volunteer, and take care of yourself and believe me... you'll be shocked how much so much of the bullshit melts away. I had some bad things happen to me in those 7 years of adventures. Some life and death, terrible shit but even that melted away mostly. Nothin' some eggs, some steak, a good set of pull-ups, some sleep, some sunshine and not drowning in quick pleasures can't cure.
Live your life, walaal. There's a lion in all of us. Ya just gotta feed it and uncage that motherf*cker.
There's my @The alchemist type essay for the year.
Last edited:
Mohmed
🌠
Respond to the sentence that best resonates with you: @Soul Kaizer
(a) 我是中国人
(b) 私は日本人です
(c) 나는 한국인이다
(d) Pilipino ako
(e) Saya orang Indonesia
(f) मै भारतीय हूँ
(g) میں پاکستانی ہوں۔
(h) أنا عربي
(i) None of the above
Last edited:
Mohmed
🌠
You're right, I've gone too far. Deleted the comment
sweetnya
:3
Nah you're normal
You will be my indayar contact.
sweetnya
:3
Yep I know very real problem
Soul Kaizer
✪𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖊𝖉✪
This thread has become 21 questions all I wanted to do was give you a perspective and now people want to know what my racial makeup is, what is my qabil, what’s the ethnicity of my parents. I’m obviously not going to give more info about myself after all the shit I posted on here.
Didn’t think it was gonna backfire like this
.
Also I’m proud of my somalinimo and me being insecure as a teenager doesn’t change anything about it today. You guys need to be less venomous in your worldview.
Also you shouldn’t be butthurt if I make jokes I take it from my Somali side.
Didn’t think it was gonna backfire like this
.Also I’m proud of my somalinimo and me being insecure as a teenager doesn’t change anything about it today. You guys need to be less venomous in your worldview.
Also you shouldn’t be butthurt if I make jokes I take it from my Somali side.
This thread has become 21 questions all I wanted to do was give you a perspective and now people want to know what my racial makeup is, what is my qabil, what’s the ethnicity of my parents. I’m obviously not going to give more info about myself after all the shit I posted on here.
Didn’t think it was gonna backfire like this
Also I’m proud of my somalinimo and me being insecure as a teenager doesn’t change anything about it today. You guys need to be less venomous in your worldview.
Also you shouldn’t be butthurt if I make jokes I take it from my Somali side.
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sweetnya
:3
You're insecure you can't even say your other half LOL it's not doxxing lil bro just ethnicity why bother when u just keeping your mouth shut?This thread has become 21 questions all I wanted to do was give you a perspective and now people want to know what my racial makeup is, what is my qabil, what’s the ethnicity of my parents. I’m obviously not going to give more info about myself after all the shit I posted on here.
Didn’t think it was gonna backfire like this
Also I’m proud of my somalinimo and me being insecure as a teenager doesn’t change anything about it today. You guys need to be less venomous in your worldview.
Also you shouldn’t be butthurt if I make jokes I take it from my Somali side.
sweetnya
:3
Soul Kaizer
✪𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖊𝖉✪
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