You know you love someone when you get to know all of their bad habits and dark secrets and you still want to be with them.
The thing is, you have to actually know them and not this idea you have of them in your head.
I think men and women often trick themselves into falling in love with a representation of a person and when the person falls short of that fantasy, they end up very disappointed.
If I loved someone, yes I would tell them and I have done so in the past.
Yes. It's called idealizing a partner or potential partner and certain personalities are very prone to doing this. I think that's what causes a lot of heartbreak. People ''falling in love'' with someone they made up in their head and later realizing it was just that, made up.
Nah, gonna have to disagree with the bolded.You know you love someone when you get to know all of theirbad habits anddark secrets and you still want to be with them.
The thing is, you have to actually know them and not this idea you have of them in your head.
I think men and women often trick themselves into falling in love with a representation of a person and when the person falls short of that fantasy, they end up very disappointed.
If I loved someone, yes I would tell them and I have done so in the past.
Nah, gonna have to disagree with the bolded.
You can love someone but not wanna put up with or allow certain things. While the chemistry and genuine feelings might be there, it's just not meant to be; no compatibility.
Not to mention, there are some dark secrets that any normal person wouldn't tolerate. There are reasonable cut-off points. It doesn't mean that you didn't truly know and love them before-- only that, loving someone shouldn't come at the cost of completely sacrificings your values&ideals. Love doesn't have to make you stupid/blind.
Hmm true, but with the case of some less extreme 'dark secrets'...you can still love the person despite that secret, and still not want to be with them. Because, although the secret may not be bad enough to make you disregard the rest of what you know about that person(and thus, your love for them)...it could still be too much for you be ok with in your day to day life (thus, the cut-off).This is a very good point and I agree with most of this.
I believe there is a line between truth and distortion. And when you learn the truth you move towards reality. So for example if you find out your partner is a murderer, you move away from this distorted view you had where you assumed your partner was not capable of committing such a heinous act.
Once you are in reality and you know the truth, if you still love them- then I guess that’s love. But if you acknowledge that your love for them was based on a distortion (they are not capable of killing) then I guess you didn’t love them. You loved an ideal version of them. When this happens to someone you often hear them say “I loved who I thought you were”.
But I can understand where you’re coming from. What do you think the answer to the op’s question is?
I can’t lie it’s happened to me.
This is a very interesting video from Jordan Peterson where he talks about separating your image of the ideal from the actual being. Let me know what you think.
I get what you're saying if the scenario is one where "love for them was based on a distortion"-- but at the same time...it takes time getting to know people, and no one tells their dark secrets right off the bat(heck, some ppl take their secrets to the grave). Unlike bad habits and flaws [which all LTR couples will eventually be forced to confront], dark secrets can remain well hidden...So how can you truly know, or hold off on falling in love with, that person during the intermediateᐩ stage of the relationship/courting? ...It's beyond the concept of 'living in a distorted reality'/ loving an "ideal version" of someone (regardless of whether it was you that created the false representation, or your partner who falsely represented themselves to you). What does it mean to rly "know" someone? What's enough?
You know you love someone when you get to know all of their bad habits and dark secrets and you still want to be with them.
The thing is, you have to actually know them and not this idea you have of them in your head.
I think men and women often trick themselves into falling in love with a representation of a person and when the person falls short of that fantasy, they end up very disappointed.
If I loved someone, yes I would tell them and I have done so in the past.
You don't love him from your attitude.You are thinking of moneytory wealth along with status.Its hard when someone is falling hard for you but you just not there yet and they don't understand that you want them in your life but need time to catch on.
This person is a real dream come true, I'm worried if I don't start proclaiming my love for him, he might assume im not all in. He's already called me immature and thinks I don't know what I want. Mehhh.
You don't love him from your attitude.You are thinking of moneytory wealth along with status.
Women get jealous over everything it's a subconscious bias.Often women want what people have hence of their potential is getting attention you will feel that bias.I don't think you love him.You don't know that.
He has no wealth. He's a poor student actually. I do get jealous often and I'm not the jealous type. For all I know maybe I am in love i dunno because I've never been in love like that. Soo complicated this all is.
Women get jealous over everything it's a subconscious bias.Often women want what people have hence of their potential is getting attention you will feel that bias.I don't think you love him.
I'm sorry but it's 30$ an hour for my advice .Tjat or you pay in...I'm not like other women i don't get jealous like that. This is the first time i feel this way, how do you explain this? Why now? Why him?