Hot Selections (Dilemma)

[Sophisticate]

Then I'd go for the one that I have more chemistry with.

I choose the one I vibe with

The one that I like more

Interesting, that you ladies mention chemistry/vibes. What if you had chemistry with #1 but because you have known them longer it might have died down. People tend to favour novelty, but it can be somewhat misleading. Do you think it is ever possible to like both equally?

I agree with desert, I’d take the one I’ve known longer, the one that came with his offer first. Chances that you my lose out on the first one and the second may not come through. But at the end of the day, deep down you know who you want...I say always listen to your gut feeling.

I see what you mean. Since the first one had made his intentions clearly known. While the other has not making them more of a wildcard atm. I suppose it is easier to deal with a known known rather than an unknown known.

 

[Sophisticate]

Then I’d go for the one who has better earning potential. Shared interests and keenness aren’t gonna pay the bills.

Yes, money talks. I just hope that fellow that claimed ‘all women are hypergamous’ will not catch wind of this thread. I see the merit in being self-interested. However, in the case where they are similarly matched, and the differentiator is based on connection then it can be a bit dicey.

Is this hypothetical based on what you've experienced with some SSpotters online, and how you'd imagine they would present themselves to you irl?

AbdiS, what makes you think this hypothetical conundrum is about SSpoters. If anything, I have included them plenty in older sagas.

If their similar enough compare the two families, you could also compare their credit scores.

Why stop there, why not hire a PI?

 

[Lostbox]

Why do you make it so sophisticated? Why can't it be readable for the 68iq People?

My reading comprehension is failing at the moment

 

[Lostbox]

Pick the one with the better family background and better community standing

I still don't know what you said

 

[Ghengis Kaarhis]

Anyway, what would you do in a similar scenario Ghengis if we reversed the genders?

Marry both


In all seriousness, whoever that I feel like I mesh with more, meaning, do we have similar values, goals, interest, whoever is easiest to talk to. I don't know really, honestly I wish you the best. Inshallah it'll work out abayo

 

[Sophisticate]

A seems to know what or rather who he wants. Is the lack of haste/time taken on his part making you second guess the honesty of his commitment? No? Then that's a big plus, he definitely appreciates what he sees in you. What makes you come to the conclusion that B might declare his interest soon? Any (non-verbal) cues that can't be dismissed as vague? Could be a case of once bitten twice shy or in the worst-case disinterest with a veneer of politeness. On the other hand you like him more, so you could nudge him subtly in one way or the other to provoke more telling signs of his commitment being underway.
Could be completely off so take my suugo with a punch of salt.

Well, #1 has known the subject longer so there is more history. It was simply not expected that they would be so forthcoming about their intentions. Whereas #2 seems to show more indicators of interest and appears more attuned. Despite #1 offering a commitment they come off as a bit more aloof relative to #2. That is not to say, they are less interested, or that they do not care they are just more reserved and pragmatic. It is essentially a case of different personalities and approaches in relating.

You've already subconsciously made your decision, it's #2, but you're playing it safe. Go all in or fold!

How can one truly tell what option is better for them in the long run?

 

[BobSmoke]

Meet them up individually in their sweatpants and make them jump. The one that gets your eyes pop the most is the one to go for

 

[Lostbox]

Well, #1 has known the subject longer so there is more history. It was simply not expected that they would be so forthcoming about their intentions. Whereas #2 seems to show more indicators of interest and appears more attuned. Despite #1 offering a commitment they come off as a bit more aloof relative to #2. That is not to say, they are less interested, or that they do not care they are just more reserved and pragmatic. It is essentially a case of different personalities and approaches in relating.



How can one truly tell what option is better for them in the long run?

Forget words

What does there actions say to you?

 

[Sophisticate]

Why do you make it so sophisticated? Why can't it be readable for the 68iq People?

My reading comprehension is failing at the moment

You're perceptive. Don't doubt yourself.

Pick the one with the better family background and better community standing

I still don't know what you said

Interesting perspective. So base it on family rep?

Marry both


In all seriousness, whoever that I feel like I mesh with more, meaning, do we have similar values, goals, interest, whoever is easiest to talk to. I don't know really, honestly I wish you the best. Inshallah it'll work out abayo

Essentially, the one you see as the better fit. What makes you think this is real?

Meet them up individually in their sweatpants and make them jump. The one that gets your eyes pop the most is the one to go for

Is that how you benchmark men?

Forget words

What does there actions say to you?

It seems too soon to tell. There is still incomplete information. Data gathering is a job that's never complete.

 

[Amirah]

Well, #1 has known the subject longer so there is more history. It was simply not expected that they would be so forthcoming about their intentions. Whereas #2 seems to show more indicators of interest and appears more attuned. Despite #1 offering a commitment they come off as a bit more aloof relative to #2. That is not to say, they are less interested, or that they do not care they are just more reserved and pragmatic. It is essentially a case of different personalities and approaches in relating.



How can one truly tell what option is better for them in the long run?

Man! I have a major problem liking aloof men, and I’m also aloof in the love department myself. I find them interesting and charming! They also always seem to know exactly what they want but after dating 2 and 1 almost marriage...never again! I want a guy that is completely open with his feelings, but not too much or needy(hate needy guys too!)but just not soo aloof... if that makes sense. Trust me they never change.

 

[Sloane Ranger]

I'd go with the first guy he's honest with his feelings and upfront with what he wants from the relationship. The second guy is either a coward or dragging you along.

 

[BobSmoke]

Loool I'm not falling for your tricks, girl.

I'm just tryna help sort out this confusion of yours.
@Sophisticate

 

[Ghengis Kaarhis]

Essentially, the one you see as the better fit. What makes you think this is real?

If it doesn't work out then

I never had any issues to just turn my back on situations or people who I felt were not good for me.

Either way, I'm not in the position to give you solid advice, inshallah you'll make the right choice.

 

[Lostbox]

You're perceptive. Don't doubt yourself.



Interesting perspective. So base it on family rep?



Essentially, the one you see as the better fit. What makes you think this is real?




Is that how you benchmark men?




It seems too soon to tell. There is still incomplete information. Data gathering is a job that's never complete.

Forget the family background. I'm was talking more about what the family can provide for you like a wider network that would be useful it they are in the same industry as you. Say real estate, manufacturering and so on.

Probably, what's more important to you is if you are willing to accept their families, if they are functional, stable and supportive of you but that's to early to tell.

Let me throw it back at you

Say, I've met two women we are compatible in many areas say are future ideals, belief an so on but one is willimg to commit to me now while the other isn't sure but shows interest in future commitment.

Plus, having much more history with the ones that want to commit but I'm interested in both

Why advice would you give me?

 

[Hali]

I'd go with the first guy he's honest with his feelings and upfront with what he wants from the relationship. The second guy is either a coward or dragging you along.

Not necessarily...it might be the second has more to offer/ lose hence the caution.

 

[AishaBarri]

If they’re both equally matched the rational choice would be 1 but deep down yearn for 2

Keep both around for as long as possible. If 2 doesn’t make his intentions clear he can bounce. No time for games. If the chemistry is equal or relatively similar between 1 and 2, there’s nothing to lose then

 

[Sophisticate]

Man! I have a major problem liking aloof men, and I’m also aloof in the love department myself. I find them interesting and charming! They also always seem to know exactly what they want but after dating 2 and 1 almost marriage...never again! I want a guy that is completely open with his feelings, but not too much or needy(hate needy guys too!)but just not soo aloof... if that makes sense. Trust me they never change.

I never really thought about it like that. I once heard of the heartless husband archetype. This reminds me of it. They have the resources to provide (often times) and can offer commitment but they are low in emotional connection (could be for a number of reasons). It could make a sister feel more like a possession. And that marriage is something to check off on their life itnerary and you just happen to be there at the right time.

I'd go with the first guy he's honest with his feelings and upfront with what he wants from the relationship. The second guy is either a coward or dragging you along.

So, you think #2 is sort of fickle, soomaha?

 

[Sophisticate]

Loool I'm not falling for your tricks, girl.

I'm just tryna help sort out this confusion of yours.
@Sophisticate

What trick? You're just trolling.

If it doesn't work out then

I never had any issues to just turn my back on situations or people who I felt were not good for me.

Either way, I'm not in the position to give you solid advice, inshallah you'll make the right choice.

The situation seems to be in the grey. Again, why do you think this is about aniga.

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

How can one truly tell what option is better for them in the long run?

That depends entirely whether you'll feel like you've settled or not, which seems to be the case with #1. The "what if" shit has nuked a few of my relationships so I wouldn't dismiss it.

Long term, it' doesn't really matter. They could both very well turn out to be complete freaks lol. Regardless of how pragmatic or logical you're trying to be, it's pretty obvious there's more a of a genuine connection with option #2.

 

[Halimo-2018]

Don't waste your time. First come first serve specially for us WOMEN.