Hooyo explains how modern women are too materalistic

If I was a man, I'd marry 1 wife and if for some reason the marriage wasn't good for me I'd:

Option 1. Ask for a divorce + shared custody
Option 2. Tell my wife I'm planning to remarry in future once the children are out of the house, thus giving her an option to either leave or to prepare to be a 2nd wife in future.
So, her time isn't wasted and she can decide to stay or remarry herself if she wants.

Once the first batch of children are out of the house and working, I'd have more money and can afford to remarry. Also, I'd feel happy as I didn't betray and mislead my first wife.

It's not hard to be a good, decent man. SMH

Polygamy is a big responsibility.
polygamy is basically impossible unless you're in somalia, and even there its a big burden, the men there are not exemplary in any way
 

Pwyneth Galtrow

๐’๐’š๐’’ ๐Ÿ’™โ˜†๐Ÿ’š ๐’‚๐’˜๐’‚๐’—
VIP
Thank you Basra this is the true imaan todayโ€s broke man can be tomorrow rich man and vice versa. Have faith in Allah and try your best and he will provide :rejoice:

What are the chances of a broke man becoming rich by marrying multiple women and having multiple children? Will he strike Oil whilst digging in his garden?

Luckily for you, a lot of women buy into these dreams. It's a man's world.
:stressed:
 

TekNiKo

โ€œI am an empathic and emotionally-aware person.
VIP
Islam also tells us to fast, if we cannot afford to marry. Providing for your wife is one of the biggest rights she has over you and marrying more than one when you cannot afford to do so, is frankly haram.

Its easy to say that as a man, but when you marry and even worse marry multiple women without being able to do so, its women and children that suffer the most.
Nope Islam encourages men to get married as its sunnah

Get the unmarried ones among you married, as well as the righteous slave men and slave women. If they are poor, Allah will make them independent by his graceโ€

(Surah Nur, verse: 32)




Sayyiduna โ€˜Umar Ibn Al Khattab (radiyallahu โ€˜anhu) would say:

โ€œI am surprised at the person who does not search for wealth by means of marriage, whereas Allah Taโ€™ala has stated โ€œIf they are poor, Allah will make them independent by his graceโ€

(โ€˜Abdur Razzaq, Refer: Al Maqasidul Hasanah, pg. 83, Hadith: 162)

Nabi (sallallahu โ€˜alayhi wa sallam) said:

โ€œMarry women, for verily they will bring wealthโ€ [through the blessing of nikah]

(Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah, Hadith: 16161, mursalan- ู…ุฑุณู„ุง- , with a reliable chain)

This is how our Prophet and sahabah taught, poor people will become more rizq with marriage
 

Pwyneth Galtrow

๐’๐’š๐’’ ๐Ÿ’™โ˜†๐Ÿ’š ๐’‚๐’˜๐’‚๐’—
VIP
polygamy is basically impossible unless you're in somalia, and even there its a big burden, the men there are not exemplary in any way

You're right, I mean, life is not that cheap there either. It's just that people are happier to live in worse conditions because they are surrounded by poverty.

If they had one wife and several children, they'd be more likely to afford decent food, clothing, education and healthcare for their babies and spouse. Instead they are more concerned about sleeping with multiple wives and bragging about having a lot of children. If they focused on quality parenting and quality marriage, they'd be happier and wealthier in the long-run.

This tells me a lot of Somali men love their base desires and ego more than their children and their legacy. Children are livestock to them, smh.
 

Pwyneth Galtrow

๐’๐’š๐’’ ๐Ÿ’™โ˜†๐Ÿ’š ๐’‚๐’˜๐’‚๐’—
VIP
I've noticed a disturbing trend with women in polygamous marriages, some of these men convince their wives to work and become providers and thus they turn their wives into worker bees and baby factories at the same time.

At some point, we have to blame women for falling for these tricks, they have agency of their own and are not being forced into being played like a fiddle.

There was a TV documentary about a Muslim man who did this, he had multiple wives and all of his wives worked. What part of Islam is this? What is his purpose if he doesn't provide? :mjlol:
 
You're right, I mean, life is not that cheap there either. It's just that people are happier to live in worse conditions because they are surrounded by poverty.

If they had one wife and several children, they'd be more likely to afford decent food, clothing, education and healthcare for their babies and spouse. Instead they are more concerned about sleeping with multiple wives and bragging about having a lot of children. If they focused on quality parenting and quality marriage, they'd be happier and wealthier in the long-run.

This tells me a lot of Somali men love their base desires and ego more than their children and their legacy. Children are livestock to them, smh.
true, they love making kids and counting them later
 

Pwyneth Galtrow

๐’๐’š๐’’ ๐Ÿ’™โ˜†๐Ÿ’š ๐’‚๐’˜๐’‚๐’—
VIP
true, they love making kids and counting them later


I do think that Somali men from previous generations were more responsible with polygamy, not like they had a choice, but at least they were usually the sole providers whereas women were relegated to the home sphere.
There is a modern perversion of polygamy where women are actually working as they are in polygamous marriages and some women are actually agreeing to be hidden and forego their rights.

But like I mentioned before, I don't blame men for women abandoning their own rights and choosing to be neglected just to say they have a husband, smh.
 
I do think that Somali men from previous generations were more responsible with polygamy, not like they had a choice, but at least they were usually the sole providers whereas women were relegated to the home sphere.
There is a modern perversion of polygamy where women are actually working as they are in polygamous marriages and some women are actually agreeing to be hidden and forego their rights.

But like I mentioned before, I don't blame men for women abandoning their own rights and choosing to be neglected just to say they have a husband, smh.
they were never the sole providers, kids were working, herding the livestock from an early age, and there was poverty too from having big families
 
Islam also tells us to fast, if we cannot afford to marry. Providing for your wife is one of the biggest rights she has over you and marrying more than one when you cannot afford to do so, is frankly haram.

Its easy to say that as a man, but when you marry and even worse marry multiple women without being able to do so, its women and children that suffer the most.
Itโ€™s a lack of common sense. If you canโ€™t afford it then keep the money for the kids you already have, they probably need it. Maybe consider it in the future when you have the ressources. Men with this mentality are so weird. How can you be the leader of a family if you canโ€™t even be logical.
 
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Nope Islam encourages men to get married as its sunnah

Get the unmarried ones among you married, as well as the righteous slave men and slave women. If they are poor, Allah will make them independent by his graceโ€

(Surah Nur, verse: 32)




Sayyiduna โ€˜Umar Ibn Al Khattab (radiyallahu โ€˜anhu) would say:

โ€œI am surprised at the person who does not search for wealth by means of marriage, whereas Allah Taโ€™ala has stated โ€œIf they are poor, Allah will make them independent by his graceโ€

(โ€˜Abdur Razzaq, Refer: Al Maqasidul Hasanah, pg. 83, Hadith: 162)

Nabi (sallallahu โ€˜alayhi wa sallam) said:

โ€œMarry women, for verily they will bring wealthโ€ [through the blessing of nikah]

(Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah, Hadith: 16161, mursalan- ู…ุฑุณู„ุง- , with a reliable chain)

This is how our Prophet and sahabah taught, poor people will become more rizq with marriage

The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to us: โ€œO young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding oneโ€™s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a shield for him


This is an authentic hadith. Lets not deny hadiths please. As a man you need to be able to provide the basics of marriage. That is one of the biggest rights a Muslim wife has.

Also, it is categorically haram for you to marry more than one if you cannot afford to do.

Islam is a religion of moderation. You can be poor, but may be able to provide food and a roof over a woman's head with a job, even if its low paying then of course you should try to marry, however in such a situation you cannot marry more than one.
 
Also, entire clans help feed poor families, every diaspora somali sends money to his grandfathers cousins daugers brother, remote relatives also receive money
 

Pwyneth Galtrow

๐’๐’š๐’’ ๐Ÿ’™โ˜†๐Ÿ’š ๐’‚๐’˜๐’‚๐’—
VIP
they were never the sole providers, kids were working, herding the livestock from an early age, and there was poverty too from having big families
I stand corrected! They weren't better in the past.

Also, entire clans help feed poor families, every diaspora somali sends money to his grandfathers cousins daugers brother, remote relatives also receive money

Yep.

Unlike other Muslim ethnic groups, Somali men are content with receiving remittances and also with their daughters being providers. Somalis are in fact, among the only Muslim ethnic groups who allow their daughters to be maids in Khaleeji countries, thus exposing their daughters up for abuse and being in the presence of non-mahrem males. SMH

All of this is done, whilst they marry multiple women, they think society and their own children are responsible for footing the bill for them and their multiple women.
 
Itโ€™s a lack of common sense. If you canโ€™t afford it then keep the money for the kids you already have, they probably need it. Maybe consider it in the future when you have the ressources. Men with this mentality are so weird. How can you be the leader of a family if you canโ€™t even be logical.

Sis,

They have common sense. It's xaasidnimo and lack of proper responsibility that is missing. As a man you're meant to care about the well-being of your family, but these men go into marriage based on how they can use a woman. All they care about is what a woman brings to the table rather than being a good husband and father. Hence, why even if they hardly have anything they'll marry another wife when they feel their first one doesn't benefit them anymore and that is usually when the wife is 45+ and has given birth to 8 kids along with sacrificing her youth cooking and cleaning for a man that hardly provided the bare minimum and then they wonder why the younger generation of women are more cautious when it comes to marriage.
 

Pwyneth Galtrow

๐’๐’š๐’’ ๐Ÿ’™โ˜†๐Ÿ’š ๐’‚๐’˜๐’‚๐’—
VIP
I know a girl in the diaspora who sends money back to her father who remarried and has multiple children. He is wholly reliant on her paycheck. He better pray she never stops working and doesn't take a break, because imagine if she has to ask her husband to send money to her father and he has to pay their bills and pay for his own parents also. They will go broke quickly and resentment may hurt their marriage.

This is why a lot of Somalis will not climb the economic ladder. The entire community is financially hostage to irresponsible males. Instead of being able to save and invest, Somalis have to send money back because lazy males back home are allergic to working and being responsible for their own women and children.
 
I stand corrected! They weren't better in the past.



Yep.

Unlike other Muslim ethnic groups, Somali men are content with receiving remittances and also with their daughters being providers. Somalis are in fact, among the only Muslim ethnic groups who allow their daughters to be maids in Khaleeji countries, thus exposing their daughters up for abuse and being in the presence of non-mahrem males. SMH

All of this is done, whilst they marry multiple women, they think society and their own children are responsible for footing the bill for them and their multiple women.

Anyone that has lived in the Middle East knows that many young Somali women go there to be maids, despite it being illegal as Somalis are part of the Arab league. Muslim men are meant to be qawwรขm of women. The protectors and maintainers of women, yet you have poor polygamous men back home waiting for money from their western relatives whilst the women under their care go to Arab nations exposing them to abuse.
 

Pwyneth Galtrow

๐’๐’š๐’’ ๐Ÿ’™โ˜†๐Ÿ’š ๐’‚๐’˜๐’‚๐’—
VIP
Anyone that has lived in the Middle East knows that many young Somali women go there to be maids, despite it being illegal as Somalis are part of the Arab league. Muslim men are meant to be qawwรขm of women. The protectors and maintainers of women, yet you have poor polygamous men back home waiting for money from their western relatives whilst the women under their care go to Arab nations exposing them to abuse.

It's so pathetic.

Meanwhile, Asians will not even think of doing such a dishonourable act as sending their daughters abroad to work for them. They would rather be mistreated themselves and they work as labourers, taxi drivers etc.

Somali men will be upset, but the truth is that many are irresponsible beta males who are very selfish and cannot control their urges. That's why Somali women must be very careful to get an education, save money and be very selective with who they marry.

The worst thing is to be trapped with a beta male who wants you to work and will risk your daughter's safety and send her to clean Arab toilets, so he can drink coffee in hotels and marry multiple women on her paycheck.
 
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we somali men have totally lost our sense of pride and integral manhood responsibility bequeathed to us by the creator. how else do you explain a man willing to look at the struggles and suffering of his beloved womenfolk nonchalantly and still claim the rights to his juvenile and ravaged, libidinous aspirations in the name of noble islam. zip up if you cant put up. women are ready to consider the efforts of struggle of responsible men but not the pretensions of sissy weaklings disguised as ones .for women the motto must be. for my hand richness is not a must but responsibility is.
 
I stand corrected! They weren't better in the past.



Yep.

Unlike other Muslim ethnic groups, Somali men are content with receiving remittances and also with their daughters being providers. Somalis are in fact, among the only Muslim ethnic groups who allow their daughters to be maids in Khaleeji countries, thus exposing their daughters up for abuse and being in the presence of non-mahrem males. SMH

All of this is done, whilst they marry multiple women, they think society and their own children are responsible for footing the bill for them and their multiple women.
its a self-destructive culture, if we belittle manual labor how will anyone work? at least the socialists during Siad Barre forced industrialization and there was hope for little while, this changed the family structure and society, before that we were always herding livestock and had big families.
 

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