Guys - could you ever walk out on your child?

Status
Not open for further replies.
Muji

Muji

VIP
Cumar said:
You are a good person. But there is a lot of selfish women who punish men who want to remain a strong father figure in their child's lives by denying them access to their children when they divorce purely out of pettiness. I have seen it happen amongst Somalis where the woman basically weaponises the children against the father.

I don't think it applies in this case, but this is a big fear for guys.
Click to expand...

Cumar we are always being told this but this happens in rare cases. Also, the system allows you to work around this if you really want to see your child.

1. The OP is telling us the story from his cousins POV, we haven’t even heard the wifes side and it already doesn’t look good for him.
2. Why is he dropping off groceries and diapers, does he really think this makes up for the time and energy spent on the childcare for his own son?
3. He has been applying for jobs abroad, he wants to get as far away as possible from his own child. How heartless can you be?
 
shabellegal

shabellegal

Cumar said:
You are a good person. But there is a lot of selfish women who punish men who want to remain a strong father figure in their child's lives by denying them access to their children when they divorce purely out of pettiness. I have seen it happen amongst Somalis where the woman basically weaponises the children against the father.

I don't think it applies in this case, but this is a big fear for guys.
Click to expand...

I condemn them as well. Same thing happened with my older cousin, when his bitter ex-wife had cuqbaad and refused to let him see his children. It’s thanks to his relentless effort combined with both families mediating that co-parenting was possible. I feel like in this case OP’s cousin doesnt even care to fight for his kid and want’s nothing to do with him, which is sad. Our generation gets pressured to get married without being emotionally mentally and financially ready which leads to high divorce and overall collapse of our family structures.
 
S

Somali Legend

Kodeen said:
Respectfully, grown Faaraxs only and no derailing pls.

@YourBroMoe @Cumar

Basically title, and what would you honestly do in his position or advice him.

My cousin in his late 20's is getting divorced and my whole family is up in arms. His parents, my father and even some of his siblings are pressuring him to stay married.

I knew shit was rocky almost a year ago when he skyped my brother. We wrongly thought everything was good again. They lived all the way up North, but his wife hated the city they lived in (kinda dead and cadaan) and wanted to move. At the time he already contemplated divorce (though mostly unrelated to the move), but suddenly 'changed his mind'. Instead he agreed, quit his job, downgraded and moved her to Leicester. Most of her family lives there.

Anyway, recently he came down to see us and got ambushed by my parents and his parents when they heard he wanted to divorce her.

After like 6 hours of getting advice and being lectured and him unresponsively nodding with 'sax, waa run, haye adeer' it was just him, my brother, his brother and me left talking. After a while talking, he revealed he took out a 3 month lease on a shitty houseshare bedroom and hasn't even entered his house in almost a month outside of dropping off diapers and groceries. And then he kind of dropped the bombshell and said he was 'leaving'. When we all agreed that he should definitely divorce her, he said 'you don't understand... not just her, I'm leaving all of it.'

Basically he's walking out on his kid which is ... a lot more severe than just a divorce. He says he has no interest in being in and out his child's life because his soon to be ex wife isn't co-operative or interested in co-parenting. He also doesn't want to 'pathetically sit and follow them around for the rest of his life'. He has already applied for work in Qatar and found something in Glasgow, but he's delaying it in hopes of Qatar getting back to him so family pressure is taken off, so he's pretty serious. Says as soon as the divorce is official, he'll leave his car and whatever he saved up for his ex wife.

Ultimately stating his ex wife was a severe mistake among a lot of other things, but she is neither a bad person, nor stupid so the child will be fine and is surrounded by uncles, aunts , grand parents and great uncles and aunts. All on the mother's side ofc. Obviously there's a shit load more to this but damn.

I never thought I'd ever contemplate it. I don't think I'll ever be in his position.. But after hearing him out, I think what he's doing is... okay to be honest. Fucked up, selfish but I can understand. My brother and his brother aren't co-signing him tho lol
Click to expand...

Your not a man if you don't take care of your kids.
 
WarsameXamse

WarsameXamse

Kodeen said:
Respectfully, grown Faaraxs only and no derailing pls.

@YourBroMoe @Cumar

Basically title, and what would you honestly do in his position or advice him.

My cousin in his late 20's is getting divorced and my whole family is up in arms. His parents, my father and even some of his siblings are pressuring him to stay married.

I knew shit was rocky almost a year ago when he skyped my brother. We wrongly thought everything was good again. They lived all the way up North, but his wife hated the city they lived in (kinda dead and cadaan) and wanted to move. At the time he already contemplated divorce (though mostly unrelated to the move), but suddenly 'changed his mind'. Instead he agreed, quit his job, downgraded and moved her to Leicester. Most of her family lives there.

Anyway, recently he came down to see us and got ambushed by my parents and his parents when they heard he wanted to divorce her.

After like 6 hours of getting advice and being lectured and him unresponsively nodding with 'sax, waa run, haye adeer' it was just him, my brother, his brother and me left talking. After a while talking, he revealed he took out a 3 month lease on a shitty houseshare bedroom and hasn't even entered his house in almost a month outside of dropping off diapers and groceries. And then he kind of dropped the bombshell and said he was 'leaving'. When we all agreed that he should definitely divorce her, he said 'you don't understand... not just her, I'm leaving all of it.'

Basically he's walking out on his kid which is ... a lot more severe than just a divorce. He says he has no interest in being in and out his child's life because his soon to be ex wife isn't co-operative or interested in co-parenting. He also doesn't want to 'pathetically sit and follow them around for the rest of his life'. He has already applied for work in Qatar and found something in Glasgow, but he's delaying it in hopes of Qatar getting back to him so family pressure is taken off, so he's pretty serious. Says as soon as the divorce is official, he'll leave his car and whatever he saved up for his ex wife.

Ultimately stating his ex wife was a severe mistake among a lot of other things, but she is neither a bad person, nor stupid so the child will be fine and is surrounded by uncles, aunts , grand parents and great uncles and aunts. All on the mother's side ofc. Obviously there's a shit load more to this but damn.

I never thought I'd ever contemplate it. I don't think I'll ever be in his position.. But after hearing him out, I think what he's doing is... okay to be honest. Fucked up, selfish but I can understand. My brother and his brother aren't co-signing him tho lol
Click to expand...
HE MADE THE MISTAKE OF FOLLOW HIS ES ORDER,

I WOULD NOT HAVE MOVED, I WOULD HAVE TOLD HER DUMB ASS TO SHUT THE f*ck UP AND BE OBEDIENT OR ELSE I WOULD SHOW MY DARK SIDE AND GO CHRIS BROWN ON HER.
 
Crow

Crow

Make Hobyo Great Again
VIP
Even if my wife revealed herself to be a witch after we get married and had children, I would never divorce and abandon my children.

I have already made peace with that possibility in my mind. As long as I have my children, I will be happy.

The guy in op's story is making a huge mistake and committing huge sins.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Trending

Latest posts

Top