Grigori Rasputin
Former Somali Minister of Mismanagement & Misinfo.
Staff Member
Wariyaha SomaliSpot
here’s the statement from the coup leader:
Dear fellow countrymen it was forced upon us to intervene in the hopeless circumstances our nation has been put into. The economy is in shatters. The security is in shambles. The unity of the country is Balkanized.
The security is so bad that explosions have became a national sports.
The unity of the country is nonexistent. The northern provinces have practically dispense their authority as if they are a state to themselves. You have another region in the East who practice a confusing separate authority but yet claim to be part of Somalia.
The economy is based on one port in Mogadishu. Where’s the rest of the economy.
Youths are dying in the oceans of the world. The country has became the but of all jokes throughout the world.
Therefore we had to overthrow the rulers of ONE BEDROOM IN VILKA SOMALIA.
We have send a cable to the foreign African sexual invaders to take their soldiers back.
We’ve send messages to the rebels to come to the table to negotiate unconditional peace settlement. This is a Muslim country. If it has to be that it is ruled under Sharia so beat it.
We call upon every able men between the ages of 16-48 to be conscripted into the army for the defense of the nation. We will not negotiate with the renegade provinces. We promise a war of annihliation to gain jurisdiction over these territories.
We also intend to establish diplomatic relationship with Israel. We will also give the Arabian nations sn ultimatum, to deal with us in an equal footing, we will not be used like a condom by them.
I announce the my cabinet.
@Jake from State Farm as the Minister of resources and manpower
@Abdalla Minister of the proliferation of Khamri and vice
@AussieHustler Minister of religion
@Dalmoor minister of anticraft
@Reiko minister of Women ( and providing a nonstop supply of young Xaliimo to the men officials on a nightly basis )
@Basra minister of propaganda
@4head minister of mental illnesses of the nation
@CaliTedesse ministee of war and defense
@Molotoff minister of foreign affairs ( and importing 10k female Bosnians for the purification of the nation and increasing the IQ)
@HIGH PRIESTESS minister of education and ignorance
@Factz minister of IQ of the nation final assessment
@sigmund minister of abolishing lightening creams
@Suldaanka minister of sending back Bantus to the farms in Jubadaha
@SOMALI GENERAL minister of attaining membership in the European Union using the DNA results that the nation is 60% European.
@Nilotufian minister of seceding from the cursed continent of Africa
@Mercury Minister of final solution of Xamar Cadcad/Baraawe people. They must decide if they consider themselves Somali or Persian, Portuguese or Indonesian
@TekNiKo Minister of keeping locals from any high position of the government
I will have the title of DEAR ADEERO SUPEEME CUSTODIAN OF THE SALVATION OF THE NATION.
@Knowles Minister of attending to the needs of the Dear ADEERO SUPREME CUSTODIAN OF THE SALVATION OF THE NATION. With a second portfolio of opening a plastic surgery to operate on geeljires to minimize their forehead and to sculpt them to her liking, even forcibly changing the gender of big butt Geeljires to females, transgender.
Dear fellow countrymen it was forced upon us to intervene in the hopeless circumstances our nation has been put into. The economy is in shatters. The security is in shambles. The unity of the country is Balkanized.
The security is so bad that explosions have became a national sports.
The unity of the country is nonexistent. The northern provinces have practically dispense their authority as if they are a state to themselves. You have another region in the East who practice a confusing separate authority but yet claim to be part of Somalia.
The economy is based on one port in Mogadishu. Where’s the rest of the economy.
Youths are dying in the oceans of the world. The country has became the but of all jokes throughout the world.
Therefore we had to overthrow the rulers of ONE BEDROOM IN VILKA SOMALIA.
We have send a cable to the foreign African sexual invaders to take their soldiers back.
We’ve send messages to the rebels to come to the table to negotiate unconditional peace settlement. This is a Muslim country. If it has to be that it is ruled under Sharia so beat it.
We call upon every able men between the ages of 16-48 to be conscripted into the army for the defense of the nation. We will not negotiate with the renegade provinces. We promise a war of annihliation to gain jurisdiction over these territories.
We also intend to establish diplomatic relationship with Israel. We will also give the Arabian nations sn ultimatum, to deal with us in an equal footing, we will not be used like a condom by them.
I announce the my cabinet.
@Jake from State Farm as the Minister of resources and manpower
@Abdalla Minister of the proliferation of Khamri and vice
@AussieHustler Minister of religion
@Dalmoor minister of anticraft
@Reiko minister of Women ( and providing a nonstop supply of young Xaliimo to the men officials on a nightly basis )
@Basra minister of propaganda
@4head minister of mental illnesses of the nation
@CaliTedesse ministee of war and defense
@Molotoff minister of foreign affairs ( and importing 10k female Bosnians for the purification of the nation and increasing the IQ)
@HIGH PRIESTESS minister of education and ignorance
@Factz minister of IQ of the nation final assessment
@sigmund minister of abolishing lightening creams
@Suldaanka minister of sending back Bantus to the farms in Jubadaha
@SOMALI GENERAL minister of attaining membership in the European Union using the DNA results that the nation is 60% European.
@Nilotufian minister of seceding from the cursed continent of Africa
@Mercury Minister of final solution of Xamar Cadcad/Baraawe people. They must decide if they consider themselves Somali or Persian, Portuguese or Indonesian
@TekNiKo Minister of keeping locals from any high position of the government
I will have the title of DEAR ADEERO SUPEEME CUSTODIAN OF THE SALVATION OF THE NATION.
@Knowles Minister of attending to the needs of the Dear ADEERO SUPREME CUSTODIAN OF THE SALVATION OF THE NATION. With a second portfolio of opening a plastic surgery to operate on geeljires to minimize their forehead and to sculpt them to her liking, even forcibly changing the gender of big butt Geeljires to females, transgender.
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