FIELD MARSHAL MENACE STAGED A BLOODLESS COUP IN SOMALia. Announces a caretaker gov. with TEKKNIKO

Grigori Rasputin

“No more your dad” “your mom loofs me”
Staff Member
Wariyaha SomaliSpot
here’s the statement from the coup leader:

Dear fellow countrymen it was forced upon us to intervene in the hopeless circumstances our nation has been put into. The economy is in shatters. The security is in shambles. The unity of the country is Balkanized.

The security is so bad that explosions have became a national sports.

The unity of the country is nonexistent. The northern provinces have practically dispense their authority as if they are a state to themselves. You have another region in the East who practice a confusing separate authority but yet claim to be part of Somalia.

The economy is based on one port in Mogadishu. Where’s the rest of the economy.

Youths are dying in the oceans of the world. The country has became the but of all jokes throughout the world.

Therefore we had to overthrow the rulers of ONE BEDROOM IN VILKA SOMALIA.

We have send a cable to the foreign African sexual invaders to take their soldiers back.

We’ve send messages to the rebels to come to the table to negotiate unconditional peace settlement. This is a Muslim country. If it has to be that it is ruled under Sharia so beat it.

We call upon every able men between the ages of 16-48 to be conscripted into the army for the defense of the nation. We will not negotiate with the renegade provinces. We promise a war of annihliation to gain jurisdiction over these territories.

We also intend to establish diplomatic relationship with Israel. We will also give the Arabian nations sn ultimatum, to deal with us in an equal footing, we will not be used like a condom by them.

I announce the my cabinet.

@Jake from State Farm as the Minister of resources and manpower

@Abdalla Minister of the proliferation of Khamri and vice

@AussieHustler Minister of religion

@Dalmoor minister of anticraft

@Reiko minister of Women ( and providing a nonstop supply of young Xaliimo to the men officials on a nightly basis )

@Basra minister of propaganda

@4head minister of mental illnesses of the nation

@CaliTedesse ministee of war and defense

@Molotoff minister of foreign affairs ( and importing 10k female Bosnians for the purification of the nation and increasing the IQ)

@HIGH PRIESTESS minister of education and ignorance

@Factz minister of IQ of the nation final assessment

@sigmund minister of abolishing lightening creams

@Suldaanka minister of sending back Bantus to the farms in Jubadaha

@SOMALI GENERAL minister of attaining membership in the European Union using the DNA results that the nation is 60% European.

@Nilotufian minister of seceding from the cursed continent of Africa

@Mercury Minister of final solution of Xamar Cadcad/Baraawe people. They must decide if they consider themselves Somali or Persian, Portuguese or Indonesian

@TekNiKo Minister of keeping locals from any high position of the government

I will have the title of DEAR ADEERO SUPEEME CUSTODIAN OF THE SALVATION OF THE NATION.

@Knowles Minister of attending to the needs of the Dear ADEERO SUPREME CUSTODIAN OF THE SALVATION OF THE NATION. With a second portfolio of opening a plastic surgery to operate on geeljires to minimize their forehead and to sculpt them to her liking, even forcibly changing the gender of big butt Geeljires to females, transgender.
 
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Basra

LOVE is a product of Doqoniimo mixed with lust
Let Them Eat Cake
VIP
here’s the statement from the coup leader:

Dear fellow countrymen it was forced upon us to intervene in the hopeless circumstances our nation has been put into. The economy is in shatters. The security is in shambles. The unity of the country is Balkanized.

The security is so bad that explosions have became a national sports.

The unity of the country is nonexistent. The northern provinces have practically dispense their authority as if they are a state to themselves. You have another region in the East who practice a confusing separate authority but yet claim to be part of Somalia.

The economy is based on one port in Mogadishu. Where’s the rest of the economy.

Youths are dying in the oceans of the world. The country has became the but of all jokes throughout the world.

Therefore we had to overthrow the rulers of ONE BEDROOM IN VILKA SOMALIA.

We have send a cable to the foreign African sexual invaders to take their soldiers back.

We’ve send messages to the rebels to come to the table to negotiate unconditional peace settlement. This is a Muslim country. If it has to be that it is ruled under Sharia so beat it.

We call upon every able men between the ages of 16-48 to be conscripted into the army for the defense of the nation. We will not negotiate with the renegade provinces. We promise a war of annihliation to gain jurisdiction over these territories.

We also intend to establish diplomatic relationship with Israel. We will also give the Arabian nations sn ultimatum, to deal with us in an equal footing, we will not be used like a condom by them.

I announce the my cabinet.

@Jake from State Farm as the Minister of resources and manpower

@Abdalla Minister of the proliferation of Khamri and vice

@AussieHustler Minister of religion

@Dalmoor minister of anticraft

@Reiko minister of Women ( and providing a nonstop supply of young Xaliimo to the men officials on a nightly basis )

@Basra minister of propaganda

@4head minister of mental illnesses of the nation

@CaliTedesse ministee of war and defense

@Molotoff minister of foreign affairs

@HIGH PRIESTESS minister of education and ignorance

@Factz minister of IQ of the nation final assessment

@sigmund minister of abolishing lightening creams

@Suldaanka minister of sending back Bantus to the farms in Jubadaha

@SOMALI GENERAL minister of attaining membership in the European Union using the DNA results that the nation is 60% European.

@Nilotufian minister of seceding from the cursed continent of Africa

@Mercury Minister of final solution of Xamar Cadcad/Baraawe people. They must decide if they consider themselves Somali or Persian, Portuguese or Indonesian

@TekNiKo Minister of keeping locals from any high position of the government

I will have the title of DEAR ADEERO SUPEEME CUSTODIAN OF THE SALVATION OF THE NATION.

@Knowles Minister of attending to the needs of the Dear ADEERO SUPREME CUSTODIAN OF THE SALVATION OF THE NATION. With a second portfolio of opening a plastic surgery to operate on geeljires to minimize their forehead and to sculpt them to her liking, even forcibly changing the gender of big butt Geeljires to females, transgender.


@LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL


Excuse me i want to be the Minister of Trolling LOOOL
 

CaliTedesse

I ❤️ Islam & Aabo Kush. Anti-BBB Anti-Inbred
VIP
:salute: Wallahi you made a good choice akhi. Minister of War and defense at your service. I will make sure our military becomes the greatest.

First thing I will do is get rid of BANTUSOM
 

Grigori Rasputin

“No more your dad” “your mom loofs me”
Staff Member
Wariyaha SomaliSpot
:salute: Wallahi you made a good choice akhi. Minister of War and defense at your service. I will make sure our military becomes the greatest.

First thing I will do is get rid of BANTUSOM

Son! I have a plan. It’s called the 15 years leap forward. I will allocate 43% of the budget for the armed forces. I have signed a deal with Russia to supply us with heavy weaponry. I have asked Canada to train our army in exchange for accepting Hennessy faaraxs to be deported back to us. In this 15 years please build the armed forces division by division in preparation of war of conquest of Ethiopia in order to redeem our honor. Concentrate heavily of on the air force. They are numerically more superior than us so we must gain air superiority.

Please also make contact with our rebels. Tell them we are now about the interest of Somalia, we aren’t being used now. They must join us to build the nation. We even will offer them positions in this government. We are willing to give them four homes for their 4 wives and concubines. We will even ban music. We will even ban khat.
 

Sophisticate

Staff Member
I'm staging a counter-coup. I was the first one to name you R. Kelly and this is how you repay me.

Here's the receipt:

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https://www.somnet.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=352296
 
here’s the statement from the coup leader:

Dear fellow countrymen it was forced upon us to intervene in the hopeless circumstances our nation has been put into. The economy is in shatters. The security is in shambles. The unity of the country is Balkanized.

The security is so bad that explosions have became a national sports.

The unity of the country is nonexistent. The northern provinces have practically dispense their authority as if they are a state to themselves. You have another region in the East who practice a confusing separate authority but yet claim to be part of Somalia.

The economy is based on one port in Mogadishu. Where’s the rest of the economy.

Youths are dying in the oceans of the world. The country has became the but of all jokes throughout the world.

Therefore we had to overthrow the rulers of ONE BEDROOM IN VILKA SOMALIA.

We have send a cable to the foreign African sexual invaders to take their soldiers back.

We’ve send messages to the rebels to come to the table to negotiate unconditional peace settlement. This is a Muslim country. If it has to be that it is ruled under Sharia so beat it.

We call upon every able men between the ages of 16-48 to be conscripted into the army for the defense of the nation. We will not negotiate with the renegade provinces. We promise a war of annihliation to gain jurisdiction over these territories.

We also intend to establish diplomatic relationship with Israel. We will also give the Arabian nations sn ultimatum, to deal with us in an equal footing, we will not be used like a condom by them.

I announce the my cabinet.

@Jake from State Farm as the Minister of resources and manpower

@Abdalla Minister of the proliferation of Khamri and vice

@AussieHustler Minister of religion

@Dalmoor minister of anticraft

@Reiko minister of Women ( and providing a nonstop supply of young Xaliimo to the men officials on a nightly basis )

@Basra minister of propaganda

@4head minister of mental illnesses of the nation

@CaliTedesse ministee of war and defense

@Molotoff minister of foreign affairs ( and importing 10k female Bosnians for the purification of the nation and increasing the IQ)

@HIGH PRIESTESS minister of education and ignorance

@Factz minister of IQ of the nation final assessment

@sigmund minister of abolishing lightening creams

@Suldaanka minister of sending back Bantus to the farms in Jubadaha

@SOMALI GENERAL minister of attaining membership in the European Union using the DNA results that the nation is 60% European.

@Nilotufian minister of seceding from the cursed continent of Africa

@Mercury Minister of final solution of Xamar Cadcad/Baraawe people. They must decide if they consider themselves Somali or Persian, Portuguese or Indonesian

@TekNiKo Minister of keeping locals from any high position of the government

I will have the title of DEAR ADEERO SUPEEME CUSTODIAN OF THE SALVATION OF THE NATION.

@Knowles Minister of attending to the needs of the Dear ADEERO SUPREME CUSTODIAN OF THE SALVATION OF THE NATION. With a second portfolio of opening a plastic surgery to operate on geeljires to minimize their forehead and to sculpt them to her liking, even forcibly changing the gender of big butt Geeljires to females, transgender.

The last couple of lines are too much

:russ::russ::russ:

Rkelly you outside yourself
 

Grigori Rasputin

“No more your dad” “your mom loofs me”
Staff Member
Wariyaha SomaliSpot
Minister of education and ignorance? I thought the purpose of education was to expel ignorance! :ftw9nwa:

That’s what you think, I have a different opinion. You’ll wage a two prolonged war. One will be to educate the masses and the other is to fight ignorance. It is your duty to eliminate classicism, certain qabiil alienation and fake marriages.

Speaking of ignorance you outa offer yourself to me as an example. I will pay your meher on the spot. Remember youlll have another portfolio as the First Lady. You will need to get rid of that UK Xaliimo tight skirts that is down to their ankles but they is so tight. They also wear it with a sneaker. As the First Lady you will have a personal tailor from Xamar CadCad people. They’ll fit you into Guntino that you’ll come with me to functionings.
 

Muji

VIP
Loooooooool @Basic he just said UK xalimos wear tight skirts up to their ankles and trainers, how does he know this?

@R.Kelly honourable supreme custodian of the salvation of the nation, I reject my position. I would like to be the minister of education or the female prime minister. Not a plastic surgeon or your nightly comforter. Also, I’m not sure that @Reiko wants to be your pimp. Do you think you are colonel Gadaffi? If so look where he ended up
 

Basic

Passive Aggressive is the new Aggressive
Staff Member
Loooooooool @Basic he just said UK xalimos wear tight skirts up to their ankles and trainers, how does he know this?

@R.Kelly honourable supreme custodian of the salvation of the nation, I reject my position. I would like to be the minister of education or the female prime minister. Not a plastic surgeon or your nightly comforter. Also, I’m not sure that @Reiko wants to be your pimp. Do you think you are colonel Gadaffi? If so look where he ended up
Lmaooo :damn: @R.Kelly explain yourself :patrice:
 

Grigori Rasputin

“No more your dad” “your mom loofs me”
Staff Member
Wariyaha SomaliSpot
Loooooooool @Basic he just said UK xalimos wear tight skirts up to their ankles and trainers, how does he know this?

@R.Kelly honourable supreme custodian of the salvation of the nation, I reject my position. I would like to be the minister of education or the female prime minister. Not a plastic surgeon or your nightly comforter. Also, I’m not sure that @Reiko wants to be your pimp. Do you think you are colonel Gadaffi? If so look where he ended up

I urge you to think twice about otherwise I will have 13 strong soldiers from the Beesha Madowta do what we purposefully trained for :gucciwhat:
You will not walk straight again
 
That’s what you think, I have a different opinion. You’ll wage a two prolonged war. One will be to educate the masses and the other is to fight ignorance. It is your duty to eliminate classicism, certain qabiil alienation and fake marriages.

Speaking of ignorance you outa offer yourself to me as an example. I will pay your meher on the spot. Remember youlll have another portfolio as the First Lady. You will need to get rid of that UK Xaliimo tight skirts that is down to their ankles but they is so tight. They also wear it with a sneaker. As the First Lady you will have a personal tailor from Xamar CadCad people. They’ll fit you into Guntino that you’ll come with me to functionings.

Ah I see, I’ll definitely be up to the task!
And yes, I’ll become your First Lady, but only to get close enough to murder you in your bed and take control of the country for myself and rule with an iron fist. I’m too ambitious and treacherous to remain as a second in command, your days are numbered sxb. :fredo:
 

Grigori Rasputin

“No more your dad” “your mom loofs me”
Staff Member
Wariyaha SomaliSpot
Ah I see, I’ll definitely be up to the task!
And yes, I’ll become your First Lady, but only to get close enough to murder you in your bed and take control of the country for myself and rule with an iron fist. I’m too ambitious and treacherous to remain as a second in command, your days are numbered sxb. :fredo:

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Snakes everywhere....even if you bore me a child you’d still murder me ?
 

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