Faraax From The UK Has Had Enough And Lets Out His Frustration

[Angelina]

Don't you guys ever get tired from all this? Literally go outside, play some sport or light a joint, anything but this.

Lol its tiring as there isn't a lot of logic and honesty in those conversations. Domestic violence happens in every community, but you also get great men in every community. Positioning IR relationships in a way to suggest that whenever a Somali man/woman marries out is going to be mistreated is not true.

Also, to make things worse, when mistreatment takes place, people behave as though the person that married out deserves it because they married out. That is vindictive and cruel. Also, when it comes to DV cases in Somali-Somali unions all of a sudden people are quiet and don't want to mention it.

My take is, you get scrum-bags and loving people everywhere. But marrying your own gives you an added protection and if unfortunate abuse does take place, you can easily appeal to the elders and your men have people they can hold accountable. It does not mean, a man or woman in your own community can't abuse you, but it does mean that there is a form of answerability which I feel is crucial.

 

[Aegon]

Damn she still getting beaten?

No she get divorced long time ago but no somali in the area want to marry her lol

 

[Kreeper]

Nothing wrong with the collectiveness mentality. It’s literally how millions of our poor Somalis living back home have been surviving off of. I agree there’s some hive mind group think but I don’t think the togetherness is a bad thing

It’s an advantage back home but in the West it’s a disadvantage because we live in liberal countries with a culture of individualism. If you police or worry about random Somali women you’ll go mad bro. I’ve heard some crazy stuff regarding xalimos marrying out - like a madow who xooged the xalimos son and fled the country. But in the end it’s not your or my problem

 

[Kreeper]

Lol its tiring as there isn't a lot of logic and honesty in those conversations. Domestic violence happens in every community, but you also get great men in every community. Positioning IR relationships in a way to suggest that whenever a Somali man/woman marries out is going to be mistreated is not true. Also, to make things worse, when mistreatment takes place, people behave as though the person that married out deserves it because they married out which is vindictive and when it comes to DV cases in Somali-Somali unions all of a sudden people are quiet and don't want to mention it.

My take is, you get scrum-bags and loving people everywhere. But marrying your own gives you an added protection and if unfortunate abuse does take place, you can easily appeal to the elders and your men have people they can hold accountable. It does not mean, a man or woman in your own community can't abuse you, but it does mean that there is a form of answerability which I feel is crucial.

Don’t be disingenuous, domestic violence is a lot less of a problem in Somali marriages when compared to some other demographics. I agree with the rest of your points though.

 

[Aegon]

It’s an advantage back home but in the West it’s a disadvantage because we live in liberal countries with a culture of individualism. If you police or worry about random Somali women you’ll go mad bro. I’ve heard some crazy stuff regarding xalimos marrying out - like a madow who xooged the xalimos son and fled the country. But in the end it’s not your or my problem

It's our problem, because the reputation of your mom, sister, cousins depend on that, what do you think ? it's natural, no one want their women to be easy for other groups of men.

 

[Angelina]

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They're childish. The older you get, the more you realise that men and women are the same everywhere. For every messed up Farax, you see you'll see even more messed up ajnabis and for every eligible ajnabi, you'll also see decent eligible Faraxs, but the plus side is that the Farax actually understands your culture and traditions and if shit hits the fan, there is a level of answerability and accountability you'll not get with a non Somali.

Overall, men are men, just be smart and go for the man you share a lot with.

 

[Jaydaan]

It’s an advantage back home but in the West it’s a disadvantage because we live in liberal countries with a culture of individualism. If you police or worry about random Somali women you’ll go mad bro. I’ve heard some crazy stuff regarding xalimos marrying out - like a madow who xooged the xalimos son and fled the country. But in the end it’s not your or my problem

This 100%. Also constant negative energy will sap the life out of you. Like most minorities in the west we are not individual enough in our thinking in the west. This mentality is holding us back. I seen too many Somalis used by others because of their love for their people. In the west it’s every man for himself

 

[Kreeper]

It's our problem, because the reputation of your mom, sister, cousins depend on that, what do you think ? it's natural, no one want their women to be easy for other groups of men.

Bro I agree but what can you do though?

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. It makes us look like insecure incels when you try policing random women.

 

[Jaydaan]

It's our problem, because the reputation of your mom, sister, cousins depend on that, what do you think ? it's natural, no one want their women to be easy for other groups of men.

Our women are not easy or easier than anyone else. The west is melting point and we are seeing the fruits of groups of people who live together. People will mix, that’s human nature. You can’t expect Somalis to live in the west generation after generation and be an isolated group.

 

[Kreeper]

This 100%. Also constant negative energy will sap the life out of you. Like most minorities in the west we are not individual enough in our thinking in the west. This mentality is holding us back. I seen too many Somalis used by others because of their love for their people. In the west it’s every man for himself

Na somalinimo is important if you see an elder that needs help with language or anything like that you have to help. But somalinimo stops at when you try dictate some random xalimos love life

 

[Angelina]

Don’t be disingenuous, domestic violence is a lot less of a problem in Somali marriages when compared to some other demographics. I agree with the rest of your points though.

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However, culturally what helps is that on a sociatal level, wife beating isn't seen as honorable or acceptable. So, if a Xalimo tells her family, her brothers, fathers and uncles could/ would usually speak to the husband along with his qabil (toll) and the man could/would be shamed for it.
Even his family would be embarrassed.

My overall point is, there is a level of policing that you get within Somalis that you can't get when dealing with a non Somali spouse.

 

[Keep it a boqol]

This 100%. Also constant negative energy will sap the life out of you. Like most minorities in the west we are not individual enough in our thinking in the west. This mentality is holding us back. I seen too many Somalis used by others because of their love for their people. In the west it’s every man for himself

Na somalinimo is important if you see an elder that needs help with language or anything like that you have to help. But somalinimo stops at when you try dictate some random xalimos love life

Maybe I have higher expectations and aims for besshada Somali. After gen z I want us to be like the Jews, insular but still very well connected, supporting each other’s business snd Somali money flowing in our communities. Look at Kenya, Uganda and other African and gulf communities we live in. We help each other out economically and build. I want to keep that with the us living in the west however liberalism and individualism is a mantra Beaten in us since our arrival and sadly this collectivevism that’s very ingrained in our culture will deteriorate with generations to come

 

[Jaydaan]

Na somalinimo is important if you see an elder that needs help with language or anything like that you have to help. But somalinimo stops at when you try dictate some random xalimos love life

100% I would help any Hooyo or aabe who needs help with that. But yeah caring about random girl/boys life decisions

 

[Angelina]

Our women are not easy or easier than anyone else. The west is melting point and we are seeing the fruits of groups of people who live together. People will mix, that’s human nature. You can’t expect Somalis to live in the west generation after generation and be an isolated group.

I just want to know when women were deemed easy for getting into halal marriages. The whole mentality is a case of, if I or men who are like me (other Somali men basically) can't be married to you, then you're an easy ****.

 

[Kreeper]

Maybe I have higher expectations and aims for dadka Somali. After gen z I want us to be like the Jews, insular but still very well connected, supporting each other’s business snd Somali money flowing in our communities. Look at Kenya, Uganda and other African and gulf communities we live in. We help each other out economically and build. I want to keep that with the us living in the west however liberalism and individualism is a mantra Beaten in us since our arrival

You listed African countries - we have to stick together there or we won’t survive it’s that simple. But in the west where everyone is a lot more free I don’t think we’re gonna stick together bro.

 

[Molotoff]

Men of all ethnicities are the same. It is biological. They want to protect their women because the future of the ethnicity depends on it.

 

[Kreeper]

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However, culturally what helps is that on a sociatal level, wife beating isn't seen as honorable or acceptable. So, if a Xalimo tells her family, her brothers, fathers and uncles could/ would usually speak to the husband along with his qabil (toll) and the man could/would be shamed for it.
Even his family would be embarrassed.

My overall point is, there is a level of policing that you get within Somalis that you can't get when dealing with a non Somali spouse.

Never said it doesn’t happen but it’s a lot less of a problem. I’m not stupid I know faraxs when they get into relationships they are very meek/miskeen the worst that is going to happen to you is that you’ll get cheated on or for the older generation an aabo will go on a ‘business trip’ to marry a second wife. A Somali man killing his wife is very very very rare. That case you’re talking I saw on the news and that was a one off.

 

[Kreeper]

Men of all ethnicities are the same. It is biological. They want to protect their women because the future of the ethnicity depends on it.

Some cultures make excuses for domestic violence saxiib. I don’t know about Bosnians but I don’t think you guys do it, same as us.

 

[Juliet]

False equivalence, Somalis are a very recent group of migrants transplanted in the West, what did you expect? For illiterate people fleeing war suddenly becoming doctors/engineers when they had nothing on their backs? Most immigrant groups initially struggle to adapt to other to their host nations, not to mention dealing with xenophobia, racism and being barred from accessing top tier jobs. Cadaans? They own the country, of course they're going to be well set up. East Asians like West Africans are a controlled immigrant group, they pick the best of the best. A better example is the Vietnamese, they fled war and their communities were strife with crime & violence, they're doing much better now.

Millennial Somalis could've done better, but Mash'allah to Gen-Z, they're making moves and getting into solid career paths.

Ah, same old excuse

none of that excuses those huge incarceration rates or disproportionate crimminal tendancies though, try again

 

[Juliet]

Aren’t you like a side chick for some bogan?

1. No
2. I don't deal with disgusting bogans at all