does somali culture consider overly soft/feminine traits as weakness

[Juliet]

Ignore her, she contributes nothing to this forum but unnecessarily vile insults and unhinged jabs at people she finds unattractive, usually madow women.

I get what you're saying though, some people genuinely enjoy a mix of both stereotypically gendered traits.

How about you just put me on ignore and stop reacting to my posts if i contribute "nothing" in your view?


I don't care about madow women, only when they come for Somalis will I "jab" at them.

I know you're on the spectrum, so I'll go easy on you and put you on ignore. Bye love.

 

[DojaKhat]

How about you just put me on ignore and stop reacting to my posts if i contribute "nothing" in your view?

I don't care about madow women, only when they come for Somalis will I "jab" at them.

I know you're on the spectrum, so I'll go easy on you. Don't push it.

"I kNoW yOu'rE oN tHe sPecTrUm sO I'Ll gO eAsY oN yOu."

Who told you you're intimidating? They lied to you, babes.

 

[Khanderson]

"I kNoW yOu'rE oN tHe sPecTrUm sO I'Ll gO eAsY oN yOu."

Who told you you're intimidating? They lied to you, babes.

It’s kinda ironic in the way she’s typing. You can tell she has a very masculine hot temperament.

Sounds like she’s projecting:

 

[Juliet]

It’s kinda ironic in the way she’s typing. You can tell she has a very masculine hot temperament.

Sounds like she’s projecting:

View attachment 328366

You don't know me irl. Can I ask what you're doing in the women's den, sir?


Ironic of you accusing me of having traits of the opposite gender when you're in a ladies space bickering with women

 

[Khanderson]

You don't know me irl. Can I ask what you're doing in the women's den, sir?


Ironic of you accusing me of having traits of the opposite gender when you're in a ladies space bickering with women

Men are allowed to contribute to the Women den it’s not highly restricted against men. This isn’t a NSFW women dens only. I was contributing to the discussion up until you started insulting me and other female user.

Take your sexist remarks else where and be respectful next time.

 

[Juliet]

View attachment 328367

Men are allowed to contribute to the Women den it’s not highly restricted against men. This isn’t a NSFW women dens only. I was contributing to the discussion up until you started insulting me and other female user.

Take your sexist remarks else where and be respectful next time.

I only got really mad when that b1tch started talking trash about me , cause this isn't the first time I've seen her do that, but whatever. Have a nice day.

 

[DojaKhat]

View attachment 328367

Men are allowed to contribute to the Women den it’s not highly restricted against men. This isn’t a NSFW women dens only. I was contributing to the discussion up until you started insulting me and other female user.

Take your sexist remarks else where and be respectful next time.

By "talking trash", she means the one time I called her out for crossing the line from standing up for ourselves as Somali women to making fun of type 4 hair.

She can't handle the slightest fraction of the negative energy she gives to others on here, miskiinad.

 

[Khanderson]

I'm not talking about a little masculine traits, I mean women who idenitify with men too much

@empressjamila have given a good answer on this. It depends on the culture and upbringings.
The women are placed in a situation where they can’t keep their guard down and have to contribute collectively. In the west women have their own solitude and depends on modern day technology. So the environment becomes way too easy for them. This basically excludes all natural obstacles.

 

[Sophisticate]

@empressjamila have given a good answer on this. It depends on the culture and upbringings.
The women are placed in a situation where they can’t keep their guard down and have to contribute collectively. In the west women have their own solitude and depends on modern day technology. So the environment becomes way too easy for them. This excludes all natural obstacles.

'Somalis' seem to portray being battle-hardened and stoic as some virtue. This includes the women. Even some of the men seem to enjoy being cayd by them. It reminds them of home. I could never understand why.

 

[empressjamila]

Umm, no. In fact that’s the complete opposite.
A women that shows a bit of a masculine traits are more likely to be independent than a women that have a feminine traits.
e.g
Submissive women for example have a higher feminine traits than a women with a masculine traits.
Submissive women are weak minded and shows dependent traits; which makes them highly feminine.
But a women with bit of a masculine traits shows more of independent traits and are less submissive.
But characteristics on a women vary on cultures and upbringings.
As a gentleman (and non sexist. kkk) there’s nothing wrong with this. But biologically women aren’t meant to be masculine anyways so there’s no reason to get masculine on me.

Yea I can understand what you mean.

A woman who is too submissive is gonna be submissive to everyone, not just her man. Also likely to be gullible, weak minded, lacking a backbone and the ability to defend herself. Which won’t be a good model for your children. But at the same time, a woman who is too headstrong can cause a lot of buuq in a household. There needs to be a healthy balance.

 

[DojaKhat]

'Somalis' seem to portray being battle-hardened and stoic as some virtue. This includes the women. Even some of the men seem to enjoy being cayd by them. It reminds them of home. I could never understand why.

Now why is Somalis in quotation marks, sis? Are we not real?

 

[Khanderson]

'Somalis' seem to portray being battle-hardened and stoic as some virtue. This includes the women. Even some of the men seem to enjoy being cayd by them. It reminds them of home. I could never understand why.

Nostalgia runs through our dhiig. I have a grandma (in northern Somalia) who has the most ultra hot temperament. She’d insult me in every name of the book. I’d always ask her “why are you so rude?”. But she responded: you guys don’t know my words are solely banter. Is who I am and who we are. You’re raised in the west. So you wouldn’t know if it’s banter or not. because you can’t tell the difference between your culture and mines. Because your culture are soft”.

 

[Khanderson]

Yea I can understand what you mean.

A woman who is too submissive is gonna be submissive to everyone, not just her man. Also likely to be gullible, weak minded, lacking a backbone and the ability to defend herself. Which won’t be a good model for your children. But at the same time, a woman who is too headstrong can cause a lot of buuq in a household. There needs to be a healthy balance.

That’s what I meant by “bit of masculine traits.” Too much masculine traits in a women is not gonna create a stable environment for two partners. Biologically and culturally women are meant to feminine but because of different times, environments and cultures it vary .
I wouldn’t want a women that’s too submissive. The relationship is gonna appear superficial. And I wasn’t raised in a traditional upbringing. So it would be harder to relate to the culture. The latter of your post is spot on. Both seems to work if they’re in a balance.

 

[Sophisticate]

Now why is Somalis in quotation marks, sis? Are we not real?

For emphasis. Geeljire courtship is surreal. It is like watching the Discovery Channel.

Nostalgia runs through our dhiig. I have a grandma (in northern Somalia) who has the most ultra hot temperament. She’d insult me in every name of the book. I’d always ask her “why are you so rude?”. But she responded: you guys don’t know my words are solely banter. is who I am and who we are. You’re raised in the west. So you wouldn’t know if it’s banter or not. because you can’t tell that difference because your culture are soft”.

I suppose to her, that was her baseline or seen as kaftan, while to a diaspora kid, it may be misperceived and thought to be offensive. Bear in mind that Somalis born or brought up in the West are bicultural—they are both Somali but influenced largely by their host nation. Even the diaspora Somali communities clash based on their varied ways of being and interacting. For instance, compare a Finnish-Somali. The Finns do not appear to interact too much, so to what extent would that influence a Somali from there? In contrast, a more gregarious Somali from America might consider them aloof or cold.

 

[Juliet]

By "talking trash", she means the one time I called her out for crossing the line from standing up for ourselves as Somali women to making fun of type 4 hair.

She can't handle the slightest fraction of the negative energy she gives to others on here, miskiinad.

Many of her opinions are sick, she bases her much of her identity on the racial hiearchy favouring Somali beauty over typical black beauty from AA/West African/African-Americans, and takes glee in making fun of their struggles unprovoked. It's a pattern with that user.

I think Somalis who do that reek of just as much low-esteem as the ones who try to be loved by xenophobic madows who don't like Somalis, because why are you tying your self-concept to racist ideals white people have instead of cultivating it from within?

Not gonna let you slander me.

Do you think you know me? I base my identity on my blood origins, NOT by a stupid hierarchy, again - I don’t care about madows in my day to day life - they literally don’t exist to me since I don’t hang around them or their areas , only reason I come for them is cause they’re always dunking on Somalis, and making fun of OUR struggles. Unprovoked where? I only have issues with groups who hate my people, they’re the biggest culprit from what I’ve been exposed to on here. Before I joined, i had literally no opinion on these people. You’re describing me like some lunatic who always hated them for no reason.

I will admit my opinions can be too much influenced by my anger on what I see what they say about us online.

 

[Moon-]

Ignore her, she contributes nothing to this forum but unnecessarily vile insults and unhinged jabs at people she finds unattractive, usually madow women.

I get what you're saying though, some people genuinely enjoy a mix of both stereotypically gendered traits. Nothing to be ashamed of.

i don't want to get on your bad side

 

[DojaKhat]

Not gonna let you slander me.

Nice change of opening statement.

I saw it say, "This is what you said about me, you stupid b1tch!" before changing it a mere few minutes later. Have you forgotten that we're both Aussie Xalimos living in the same east coast time zone, same age range with your average uni student schedule? You should have kept me on ignore for your own sake.

Do you think you know me? I base my identity on my blood origins, NOT by a stupid hierarchy,

If you could utilise the context clues you would have learnt in primary school, 'racial hierarchy' here carries the same connotation as the heavily Eurocentric 'beauty hierarchy'. I take full responsibility for the misnomer, but it should have been obvious by the direct comparison between madow and Horner beauty rankings in the West.

Furthermore, most users on here also identify by their Somali "blood origins" before applying the Western concept of race to themselves, without having to resort to borderline Nazi rhetoric so this is a moot point.

But I'm the stupid b1tch apparently.

I don’t care about madows in my day-to-day life - they literally don’t exist to me since I don’t hang around them or their areas

Aren't you from white-ass QLD? I would wager that outside of the relatively small African-Australian diaspora in Brissy, you wouldn't have as many naturally occurring encounters with them on top of your deliberate avoidance of them.

only reason I come for them is cause they’re always dunking on Somalis, and making fun of OUR struggles.

As much as I respect your tenacity when it comes to clapping back at anti-Somali ajnabis who diss us, you can't tell me calling their darkskins 'dhuxul' and mocking their type 4 hair while you're at, is respectable by any means, considering that many in our community also possess those traits.

Are you seriously going to tell me this is a healthy response from someone with self-esteem that doesn't rely on madow chicks being seen as uglier by Somali women in the West? This is what I mean by you 'taking glee' from their struggles as a broader collective (including the ones who are unaware or unconcerned with Somalis). It's not slander if it's true.

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I only have issues with groups who hate my people, they’re the biggest culprit from what I’ve been exposed to on here. Before I joined, I had literally no opinion on these people. You’re describing me like some lunatic who always hated them for no reason.

I will admit my opinions can be too much influenced by my anger on what I see what they say about us online.

What you've described here is classic radicalisation via social media.

I would advise you to practice compartmentalization of what Somali-Australians have to put up with in real life from the atrocious rhetoric Somalis internationally have to deal with online. It's not about being blind to what our enemies are doing but keeping a level head, so we fight back effectively while living healthily.

I can tell you the bulk of the African-Australian population and its influence amongst Gen-Z and Millennial Aussies is much larger and all-encompassing in Melbourne compared all other Australian cities, and yet, while Somalis are sidelined by madows here in terms of numbers, there is barely any hostility between us and them. I've had a few negative run-ins myself, but the atmosphere is broadly positive, and you won't really hear much of Somalis being demonised for being anti-black towards the rest of them like our UK counterparts often report on here.

Let's not allow internet anonymity make us lose our grasp of on-the-ground realities.

 

[a_bilan]

From what I've seen, the women in/from Somalia are stereotypically feminine but a lot more confrontational.
Being a passive person doesn't really make you more feminine

 

[a_bilan]

Does Somali culture view soft feminine traits as weakness? I guess... but femininity as it is popularly understood seems to mean weakness or even a passive existence.
This construct of femininity people have created relies on tropes that don't make sense. For example a woman is not in her 'feminine' if her life isn't a series of her being taken care of, poor..not in her feminine, labour....not in her feminine....any sign of struggle....not in her feminine. If femininity requires that many conditional boxes to be ticked for it to be reached, is it really meant to be a thing?

We are living in a time of the most convenience and ease... so most women who existed before us were not "living in their feminine". How does this entire thing work?

 

[DojaKhat]

@Juliet

You've been strangely quiet for the last 24 hours.

Where's that same energy you had making fun of my disability, you fulay? I knew you weren't shit.