does somali culture consider overly soft/feminine traits as weakness

[bluebird]

I've met a LOT of somali women who have a very masculine front that they put on. [And I understand every women is not super feminine or isnt going to care about her looks. - And there are also several aspects to feminine behavior that go way past vanity, so I'm not even talking about that. ]

The women I'm talking about seem to go out of their way to avoid what could be deemed feminine habits and like to be seen as rough and tough and they make their voices really deep. Usually these women are born in somalia, so is this because in somalia being seen as really feminine is considered weak or silly?

Has anyone else met people like this?

 

[empressjamila]

I think our culture tends to encourage being tough & not being too emotional or soft, even for women. The masculine behaviour you’re seeing may also come about because of the harshness of living in Somalia, you really have to be tough to survive over there and the living conditions can easily take a woman out of her feminine.

That’s why you come across more stereotypically feminine and soft women in the diaspora, because our lives are a lot easier

 

[Angelina]

Somali women back home have been raised to lead a life of labour. Women can’t be soft and light hearted when they have to work from sunrise to sunset.

 

[Mudug_gyal]

The conditions in Somalia are not really ideal for femininity.

 

[bluebird]

I think our culture tends to encourage being tough & not being too emotional or soft, even for women. The masculine behaviour you’re seeing may also come about because of the harshness of living in Somalia, you really have to be tough to survive over there and the living conditions can easily take a woman out of her feminine.

That’s why you come across more stereotypically feminine and soft women in the diaspora, because our lives are a lot easier

the roughness I'm talking about is not just from harsh life. a lot of them lived normal lives in somalia (city, not badiyo) and some actually lived most their lives in west, but are strongly culturally somali. They just act like they idenitify more with men and male problems then other women

 

[bluebird]

The conditions in Somalia are not really ideal for femininity.

not everyone in somalia lives that in terrible conditions. I think they act like that because they think it makes them better

 

[bluebird]

Somali women back home have been raised to lead a life of labour. Women can’t be soft and light hearted when they have to work from sunrise to sunset.

you definitely can. Hard work makes you tough, but it doesn't make you act like a man.

 

[Mudug_gyal]

not everyone in somalia lives that in terrible conditions. I think they act like that because they think it makes them better

True but two things can be true at the same time. I think its social conditioning plus the state of somalia rn that contributes to it.

 

[bluebird]

True but two things can be true at the same time. I think its social conditioning plus the state of somalia rn that contributes to it.

I wrote something to angelina but it deleted. I was gonna say, other groups like say somali bantu who grew up on farms, don't carry that same need to be super masculine. And other people who live back home such as the reer xamar also don't act like that. I think it might just be what the culture values.

 

[bluebird]

And even though I mostly see women from somalia like this even some diaspora raised ones act like this, so its not just the conditions

 

[Mudug_gyal]

I wrote something to angelina but it deleted. I was gonna say, other groups like say somali bantu who grew up on farms, don't carry that same need to be super masculine. And other people who live back home such as the reer xamar also don't act like that. I think it might just be what the culture values.

Yes the lamagoodle culture. Somali culture looks down on whats traditionally considered feminine thats why the women shun femininity. But then one could argue that femininity is a social construct. Every culture interprets femininity differently. Dont get me wrong there are things that are inbuilt in females that is universally considered to be femininity.

 

[Juliet]

Is this a sneak diss? Somali women aren't and will never be masculine.

 

[DojaKhat]

Is this a sneak diss? Somali women aren't and will never be masculine.

Now why would we diss ourselves?

It's more of a reflection of how struggle hardens women and forcibly takes us out of our feminine, something no demographic of women are immune to, sadly.

 

[Khanderson]

Is this a sneak diss? Somali women aren't and will never be masculine.

Nothing wrong in a women that shows a bit of masculine traits. In fact I find a women attractive that shows a bit of that. Same thing about Mens wanting to show emotional traits by crying out.

 

[Ladylike]

Due to the circumstances we had to face being vulnerable was a liability when you’re facing war and unstable conditions being soft can get you killed or used for both genders. However it seems it became a trait that never went away even after arriving in the west it seems like it stuck with most Somalis. When out county was stable women were feminine and the men were gentlemen very respectful to each other you notice this in the documentaries as well. Maybe the next generation will fix this InshaAllah. Many Somalis are very kind in their private lives Although they might portray tough persona in public lol

 

[bluebird]

Is this a sneak diss? Somali women aren't and will never be masculine.

no

thats why I put it here in the women section, so men don't derail it with insults.

 

[bluebird]

Nothing wrong in a women that shows a bit of masculine traits. In fact I find a women attractive that shows a bit of that. Same thing about Mens wanting to show emotional traits by crying out.

I'm not talking about a little masculine traits, I mean women who idenitify with men too much

 

[Juliet]

Nothing wrong in a women that shows a bit of masculine traits. In fact I find a women attractive that shows a bit of that. Same thing about Mens wanting to show emotional traits by crying out.

the fact that you find that attractive means you're just another dustie who needs a woman to be a mule for him

 

[Khanderson]

the fact that you find that attractive means you're just another dustie who needs a woman to be a mule for him

Umm, no. In fact that’s the complete opposite.
A women that shows a bit of a masculine traits are more likely to be independent than a women that have a feminine traits.
e.g
Submissive women for example have a higher feminine traits than a women with a masculine traits.
Submissive women are weak minded and shows dependent traits; which makes them highly feminine.
But a women with bit of a masculine traits shows more of independent traits and are less submissive.
But characteristics on a women vary on cultures and upbringings.
As a gentleman (and non sexist. kkk) there’s nothing wrong with this. But biologically women aren’t meant to be masculine anyways so there’s no reason to get masculine on me.

 

[DojaKhat]

Umm, no. In fact that’s the complete opposite.
A women that shows a bit of a masculine traits are more likely to be independent than a women that have a feminine traits.
e.g
Submissive women for example have a higher feminine traits than a women with a masculine traits.
Submissive women are weak minded and shows dependent traits; which makes them highly feminine.
But a women with bit of a masculine traits shows more of independent traits and are less submissive.
But characteristics on a women very on cultures and upbringings.
As a gentleman (and non sexist. kkk) there’s nothing wrong with this. But biologically women aren’t meant to be masculine anyways so there’s no reason to get masculine on me.

Ignore her, she contributes nothing to this forum but unnecessarily vile insults and unhinged jabs at people she finds unattractive, usually madow women.

I get what you're saying though, some people genuinely enjoy a mix of both stereotypically gendered traits. Nothing to be ashamed of.