Do you think it's okay to date?

[paramedic]

Yea, basically; the whole Mahram thing is too awkward for me.
As for what I consider the concept of "dating" to be, it would depend on what I was looking for I guess (i.e. what stage of life I'm in). If I was allowed to date in my teens, I obviously wouldn't be doing it with the intention of marriage but I'd still be preparing myself for future 'marriage life': understanding my boundaries, knowing what kind of personality I'm compatible with, knowing what I want/don't want in relationships [some things require first hand experience], being comfortable around non-Mahram men, developing communication skills in an intimate relationship setting, non s-xual romantic enjoyment/companionship, etc.

Also, dating doesn't necessarily have to be exclusive...you can date multiple guys simultaneously in order to cut the "interview" time and narrow down the serious options. And personally, I'd want to live with the person for at least a year as well before I make "forever" vows. Meeting a couple times is not enough to "discuss your compatibility" imo.

I see. But if they've already got you then what's pushing them for marriage? Living together without the hassle of paperwork and risk of repercussions from divorce can be very appealing for the guy.

 

[HollandaiseSauce]

Fucking amazing.Them boys know how to treat a woman.
Though non muslim somali men are just as sexy,if not more at times

Props to you

Where do you find these non muslim somalis like how. I want to see how they play :siilaanyolaugh:

 

[paramedic]

Voted: Yes, I need to date to know the person.

Dating is essential. It's actually not enough to know what you're getting into. IMO, anything less is carelessness TBH.

It's common for people who date to find that they don't know much about the person until they're living with them. Are you also of the opinion that you have to live together before marriage too?

 

[merka]

Ah ok, I see, you're approaching it from a religious perspective then.
That personally wouldn't work for me.

The friend zone doesn't exist
(also, I said non-platonic lol)

Oh yeah I forgot you're Christian. You can just to do the regular "I'm saving myself for marriage" excuse

Are you open to dating muslims?

 

[Noir]

Props to you

Where do you find these non muslim somalis like how. I want to see how they play :siilaanyolaugh:

As long as you live in the west you will come across them atheist somali men
You can instantly tell from their style and behavior.They don't act like Arab savages.

 

[paramedic]

You know I would (celibately) date an cadaan for the sake of it because you know, I live around them

But

I'd later marry a Somali because I find them most attractive

Abayo you don't have to date someone because they're near you. By that logic, I'd better start smoking weed bc my neighbours do.
Reer Roger isn't worth it esp if you want to end up with a Somali guy.

 

[TooMacaan]

I see. But if they've already got you then what's pushing them for marriage? Living together without the hassle of paperwork and risk of repercussions from divorce can be very appealing for the guy.

Lol, what do you mean by "already got you"? We'd be living together but it'd still be a celibate relationship until vows are made. And I guess I should clear up that I don't believe in the 'paperwork' aspect either...that's my main reason for wanting to thoroughly vet the guy; the matrimony would be based on faith/trust-- no legal repercussions for divorce.

 

[paramedic]

Lol, what do you mean by "already got you"? We'd be living together but it'd still be a celibate relationship until vows are made. And I guess I should clear up that I don't believe in the 'paperwork' aspect either...that's my main reason for wanting to thoroughly vet the guy; the matrimony would be based on trust-- no legal repercussions for divorce.

Oh my bad, missed the post where you mentioned saving yourself for marriage.

That's interesting, the point of this thread is to see how Somalis look at dating and the process of marriage anyways.

 

[paramedic]

I still haven't gotten an answer for my previous question:

For those who date for the sake of getting to know each other more, is it for asking the hard questions or to build up romantically to see first and foremost if you're compatible?

 

[HollandaiseSauce]

As long as you live in the west you will come across them atheist somali men
You can instantly tell from their style and behavior.They don't act like Arab savages.

I feel so haram right now :siilaanyosmile::siilaanyolaugh:

Abayo you don't have to date someone because they're near you. By that logic, I'd better start smoking weed bc my neighbours do.
Reer Roger isn't worth it esp if you want to end up with a Somali guy.

When in Rome, do as Romams do but then I'm exotic you know so it feels great mixing with Farahs and Matthews.

Moving away to a far city for a Farah so even better, my dear

 

[Noir]

I feel so haram right now :siilaanyosmile::siilaanyolaugh:

If you live in the gaalo west instead of an Islamic state,you are already commiting haram a long time ago.The christian god blocks Allah's vision in Gaalo countries.

 

[TooMacaan]

Oh yeah I forgot you're Christian. You can just to do the regular "I'm saving myself for marriage" excuse

Are you open to dating muslims?

Haha yea, culture seems to carry more influence than religion nowadays though. And it's not an excuse xD
I'd be open to dating Muslims (provided 'dating' is defined in the way I see it)...but apparently, that's the "friend zone" lol.

 

[HollandaiseSauce]

If you live in the gaalo west instead of an Islamic state,you are already commiting haram a long time ago.The christian god blocks Allah's vision in Gaalo countries.

It's pretty clear that I have, not like the ones in Somalia are all crystal clear and innocent :siilaanyolaugh:

 

[paramedic]

I feel so haram right now :siilaanyosmile::siilaanyolaugh:




When in Rome, do as Romams do but then I'm exotic you know so it feels great mixing with Farahs and Matthews.

Moving away to a far city for a Farah so even better, my dear

If you ever do end up dating Bradthaniel lemme know how it goes.

Is the Somali population small in your area? I've never heard of us being called exotic

 

[merka]

Haha yea, culture seems to carry more influence than religion nowadays though. And it's not an excuse xD
I'd be open to dating Muslims (provided 'dating' is defined in the way I see it)...but apparently, that's the "friend zone" lol.

I didn't get what you meant by non-platonic. Does that mean that making out is ok but not intercourse?

 

[Zeus]

Fucking amazing.Them boys know how to treat a woman.
Though non muslim somali men are just as sexy,if not more at times

 

[Noir]

It's pretty clear that I have, not like the ones in Somalia are all crystal clear and innocent :siilaanyolaugh:

Which i use to debunk Islam and Allah's greatness bs everywhere.

 

[Noir]

 

[dr.leorio]

I still haven't gotten an answer for my previous question:

For those who date for the sake of getting to know each other more, is it for asking the hard questions or to build up romantically to see first and foremost if you're compatible?

Both. Back when I used to date I always checked to see if we were compatible first and foremost. After learning the basics about each other you have to make sure you can vibe with the person (gut feelings are crucial in this stage) and should check to see if their life goals are the same as yours. Once you're good there, and are comfortable with each other, that's when you can start asking the hard hitting questions. Your approach when asking these questions is crucial as you want the truth when asking the important stuff. If you come off as judgy or assholish you best believe the Xalimo will lie to you and if you come off as a simp/beta she will run you dry. It's best for all parties to keep it formal and as emotionless as possible until you realize you're compatible, after all the vetting is done is when you can start being romatic/flirtatious.

 

[TooMacaan]

I didn't get what you meant by non-platonic. Does that mean that making out is ok but not intercourse?

Making out is still physical/intimate but yea; that along with holding hands, hugs, watching movies together, cuddling, dancing, even sharing the same bed, and other forms of affection that doesn't go too far. By non-platonic, I'm just referring to the connection/chemistry that you'd have for a significant other (which is clearly more than friendship)...a.k.a a "romantic" relationship. The no intercourse part is just due to the celibacy thing.