Do nice guys finish last

[Zakaria Hussein]

Zak

No, an Alpha makes her pay the entire bill. Zak u cant become an Alpha just because u want to be one. U r too good for that!

I guess what I'm saying is if she likes you more than you like her. Then I don't see nothing wrong with it.

She's still spending time with you and your saving money which is an a way an Alpha move.

 

[Basra]

I guess what I'm saying is if she likes you more than you like her. Then I don't see nothing wrong with it.

She's still spending time with you and your saving money which is an a way an Alpha move.

Zak

True. If the girl Likes u more than u do her, Then u have yourself a keeper

 

[Sultaan]

I think the man should still be paying everything tho until ya'll official, then you could talk about that. In the beginning its more like flexing.

 

[Basra]

I think the man should still be paying everything tho until ya'll official, then you could talk about that. In the beginning its more like flexing.

Sultaan


Exactly. Part of being an Alpha is worrying about "flexing" & your "Macho image"! A nice guy is too relax to worry about that.

 

[Zakaria Hussein]

I think the man should still be paying everything tho until ya'll official, then you could talk about that. In the beginning its more like flexing.

Don't get me wrong I agree , but if she insists to pay or your not feeling her. Going halves isn't the worst scenerio

 

[Sultaan]

Sultaan


Exactly. Part of being an Alpha is worrying about "flexing" & your "Macho image"! A nice guy is too relax to worry about that.

all comes natural to a geeljire like me

 

[Sultaan]

Don't get me wrong I agree , but if she insists to pay or your not feeling her. Going halves isn't the worst scenerio

if she really insisting then she fw u hard !!! but i thought he initiated it.

 

[Sophisticate]

These two answers basically summarize my main opinions on the matter.

No girl is interested in a fake 'Mr. Nice guy' act accompanied with ulterior motives; as long as his kindness is genuine though, it shouldn't be a problem. Ofc it's probably wise to keep in mind that there are malicious/selfish people out there who may interpret his kindness as an invitation to take advantage...I don't think that's a female-specific trait though. Akin to many other circumstances in life, it obviously never hurts to exercise [a reasonable amount of] caution. He should keep a safe distance in the early stages of the courting process imo; better safe than sorry and all.

Authenticity is also important, esp. if he's not willing to drag out the courting for too long.
1) It'd allow both of them to actually get to know each other...and if they do end up together, their minds could be at ease knowing their partner selected them fully aware of both the good and bad (a.k.a, no 'surprises' that could later lead to the rise of deal-breaker issues in post-marriage life), and,

2) I think it could also build trust and a sense of comfort/security. Imo, it reveals the guy is principled and has a clear value system. It's also telling of his strength/ability to make certain judgement calls when necessary; you need someone who you can trust to be reliable. (*The single exception to this, are the guys who hesitate to be fully honest or may even tell white lies -either to be polite or in an attempt to spare their potential partner's feelings-...usually this is due to a certain personality/upbringing style though (introverted, shy, or anxious guys), so I believe most girls would be able to identify that and take an understanding approach).

Wanting to move slowly doesn't make a girl a /[intentional] time-waster either. What do the following three have in common: thirstiness, moving too serious too fast, and constant attention? It's a lot of pressure! and also signals desperation, which then signals RED FLAG (what's the rush??). It also reflects badly on his standards; does he believe every girl he meets is high quality?? What does that say about his discerning abilities?
Girls don't like to be pressured-- most of the time they like to think it's their idea/choice + they like to feel special.

*DISCLAIMER*: It goes without saying, but, not all girls think the same though. You should def. keep their individual personality in mind throughout.

Thank you, that was a great read.

- Authenticity
- Honesty
- Discernment

I should add not being too attached to the outcome (is important). Don't be entirely set on a particular person until you've done enough of your homework. Which requires getting to know the other person. There are plenty of people out there, no need to zero in on just one. In fact, anything you want too badly (or try to force) is something you repel. When you have an open approach that is present, engaging yet nonchalant, you'll be better off.

 

[Zakaria Hussein]

if she really insisting then she fw u hard !!! but i thought he initiated it.

No yeah in his case he should've definitly paid. He initiated the date and equally or even liked her more

 

[Basra]

By the way, did i tell u how my dad proposed to my mom? Dad was 20 plus older than my mom. He asked my ayeeyo for her daughters marriage, and my ayeeyo flat out refused.


On the grounds that my dad had married her cousin. My ayeeyo saw it as a shame.



My dad who was super rich and popular was offended that he was refused. So dad went to my ayeeyo very religious Wabeneeya dad and asked for his grand daughters hands.


My grand pa was so honored that such a distinguished man was seeking his grand daughter, he immediately allowed it. lool



And they lived happily ever after. Mom was 16.


In hindsight, i think his family gave my mom a hard time, so it was not a perfect family. But if asked should the marriage have happened anyway? Hell yeah, because i need to be born, aint no way my existence needs to be suspected or delayed due nonsensical external fights

 

[Zakaria Hussein]

By the way, did i tell u how my dad proposed to my mom? Dad was 20 plus older than my mom. He asked my ayeeyo for her daughters marriage, and my ayeeyo flat out refused.


On the grounds that my dad had married her cousin. My ayeeyo saw it as a shame.



My dad who was super rich and popular was offended that he was refused. So dad went to my ayeeyo very religious Wabeneeya dad and asked for his grand daughters hands.


My grand pa was so honored that such a distinguished man was seeking his daughter, he immediately allowed it. lool



And they lived happily ever after. Mom was 16.

16 was mature in Somalia in the old days. Most of my aunts and mum were married in their teens to men twice their age.

But nowdays it's not as common for girls too marry so early.

 

[Basra]

16 was mature in Somalia in the old days. Most of my aunts and mum were married in their teens to men twice their age.

But nowdays it's not as common for girls too marry so early.

In somalia u can though. Any college educated mali can go to somalia and marry a 20 year old. or even a 16 year bride.

 

[temporaryacc]

Thank you, that was a great read.

- Authenticity
- Honesty
- Discernment

I should add not being too attached to the outcome (is important). Don't be entirely set on a particular person until you've done enough of your homework. Which requires getting to know the other person. There are plenty of people out there, no need to zero in on just one. In fact, anything you want too badly (or try to force) is something you repel. When you have an open approach that is present, engaging yet nonchalant, you'll be better off.

You've removed it now but I was gonna say "adeer"!??that's for the likes of Rkelly; I'm still a young buck tyvm : p

Jokes aside, yh you raise a good point. Fixation can def. lead one to be oblivious to other great potential matches, maybe matches that could've even ended up being better suited than the original choice. It's definitely something keep in mind. &yupp, research is v. important, always-- it's important to know what you're getting yourself into.

 

[Zakaria Hussein]

In somalia u can though. Any college educated mali can go to somalia and marry a 20 year old. or even a 16 year bride.

Thats very true.

Man I'd feel bad for the xalimo lol

 

[Basra]

Thats very true.View attachment 63947

Man I'd feel bad for the xalimo lol

Dont feel bad,. Walaahi i agree with this arrangement. The young malis are not marrying mali women. Let the odeey make babies.

 

[Zakaria Hussein]

Dont feel bad,. Walaahi i agree with this arrangement. The young malis are not marrying mali women. Let the odeey make babies.

True don't get me wrong I don't see nothing wrong with it. Just sad for kids, dude will be a grandpa and a father at the same time too them lol

But if you got wealth and ancient, your both winning.

 

[Sophisticate]

You've removed it now but I was gonna say "adeer"!??that's for the likes of Rkelly; I'm still a young buck tyvm : p

Jokes aside, yh you raise a good point. Fixation can def. lead one to be oblivious to other great potential matches, maybe matches that could've even ended up being better suited than the original choice. It's definitely something keep in mind. &yupp, research is v. important, always-- it's important to know what you're getting yourself into.

Finally, it's the only time I've been afforded the luxury of calling someone adeer, as you are older than me.


It's much easier said than done. When one has a limited repertoire of experiences it becomes very easy to be afflicted with oneitis.

Nothing wrong with that, but unfortunately we don't live in Disneyland. Bad example, their employees are woefully undervalued and underpaid.

 

[temporaryacc]

Finally, it's the only time I've been afforded the luxury of calling someone adeer, as you are older than me.


It's much easier said than done. When one has a limited repertoire of experiences it becomes very easy to be afflicted with oneitis.

Nothing wrong with that, but unfortunately we don't live in Disneyland. Bad example, their employees are woefully undervalued and underpaid.

It's an honor for me as well I'll be sure to cherish it, thank you

Hmm, yh, I can kinda understand that-- would you attribute it more to biological/evolutionary reasons though or to psychological/emotional reasons? If both, which do you think has more influence?

Mistreatment of employees on top of their supposed satanic practices and the degenerate brainwashing of children via subliminals, associated with their brand??

 

[YourBroMoe]

He met the wrong woman. Also, dating is a horrible way to get married if you wanna do it religiously.

 

[4head]

I was watching a hadith on YouTube --the Sheikh said that in the larger scale of Arabian peninsular, u had some tribes of arabs whom they had soft men and very strong women. And other tribes as very strong men and soft women.

I do believe the somalis are descendants of the arab tribes with strong women and soft men.

I don't think Somali men are soft, i've known strong men and they were from my family. It's a matter of how you were raised and by who.