divorcing when wife gets career, good idea?? (only muslim men come in)

That would be boring anyway. She’ll get fat on you and you’ll be angry from being tired cause you were working all day. That’s why you need compromise.

Most women who leave the workforce after having babies go right back because they can’t afford not to work, they’ll go crazy being with their newborn 24/7, and companies already have another woman lined up who can replace them.

The truth is if you forgo work to raise your kids, trying to go back to work after 3-5 years is really hard and employers won’t want to interview you forget hire you.
Excellent point. Hence why i encourage her to work. Being a lazy bum (@Aria ) will not help you with your career. If you get divorced, then the husband has the upper hand in the relationship. Thats why most stay at home wifes obey their husbands orders.


Why are you dieying to pay bills? :gucciwhat:
What a typical bhakti xolooo :susp:
What i meant is that im not busting my ass to support someone who wants to retire on me.
 
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What i meant is that im not busting my ass to support someone who wants to retire on me.
Fair enough :manny: but if you weren't a broke man I am sure you wouldn't bother if your wife worked or not and to be honest if I was a broke man like you I would've faced the same dilemma.
 
Sorry for the long post in advance.

When it comes to marriage, this is how I see it. It's like team work where both parties commit to there particular tasks ultimately to make a stable home. One where the children can grow up with love, security and education with good morals instilled within them. Now what tasks and objectives must be fulfilled and how to separate the work load?

This is how I'll split it up:
1. Household income
2. Maintaining the home (chores, cleaning, cooking, etc.)
3. Upbringing of the kids
4. Education of the kids
5. Health and security of the family

The role of the husband/father:
He is to work and bring money home, essentially he brings in the household income. He is to provide for the family all essential needs, such as food, water, clothes, etc. He is also responsible for the education of his kids, finding a good school (for both general education and Islamic studies) and he is to pay for whatever is needed to continue the education of the children (as well as himself and his wife if need be). Finally he is to secure the safety of his family as well as make sure all health care costs are covered (if the country doesn't have free health care).

The role of the wife/mother:
Essentially her main role is the maintenance of the home, to clean the home and do any household chores. She is to cook for and feed the family. Also, she is to look after and keep the wellbeing of her children at home, making sure they get all the love and care they need. Making sure that good morals are instilled within the children from a young age. Generally, the children tend to love the mother more and her motherly love to her kids is unparalleled.

The role of both the husband and wife:
The main job of the parents is to make sure that their children is brought up in a stable home. For both to show love and compassion to their children as well as discipline them where necessary. They are to try to help each other when the other is struggling (e.g for the husband to help with the chores). Arguments are hard to avoid for any relationship (Even Prophet Muhammad PBUH had the odd skirmish or 2 with Aisha RA) but try to keep them at a minimum to the best of your abilities, and do not ever fight in front of the children.

I may have missed a lot of points but I think you get the general idea. I think these are fair delegations of tasks and if both parties stick to their work without complaint and to the best of their abilities, then I genuinely believe that this will give the best outcome for the children INSHAALLAH
I'm trying to paint the ideal model but alas, this is not a perfect world so really at the end of the day you need to sit with your spouse and see what works best for both of you.
 
Fair enough :manny: but if you weren't a broke man I am sure you wouldn't bother if your wife worked or not and to be honest if I was a broke man like you I would've faced the same dilemma.
by all means im not broke. I actually make decent money and do well for myself. I'm more concerned about my self at this point in my life; like focusing on my retirement, 401k, expanding my stocks, and traveling around the world.

Remember, women get bored easily. If you're not keeping her entertained or worked, she will cheat. Oh and don't pull the "shes somali and muslim she will not cheat" I know numerous of somali women who cheated on their husbands while he was away at work.
 
by all means im not broke. I actually make decent money and do well for myself. I'm more concerned about my self at this point in my life; like focusing on my retirement, 401k, expanding my stocks, and traveling around the world.

Remember, women get bored easily. If you're not keeping her entertained or worked, she will cheat. Oh and don't pull the "shes somali and muslim she will not cheat" I know numerous of somali women who cheated on their husbands while he was away at work.
I am a woman myself :manny: & you don't know what you are talking about.
Entertained? wtf do You think women are ciyaal?
 
I am a woman myself :manny: & you don't know what you are talking about.
Entertained? wtf do You think women are ciyaal?
Damn so we got a gold digger in the house.

Horta, are you good looking? because most successful farahs tend to go for the good looking somali women.
 

Transparent

cismaan maxamuud
If I'm able to provide(all expenses)I would prefer that my wife works part time.That way she still spends quality time to connect with the kids and fulfill her passion.I would also make sure that she gets her maternity leave (which is one year at home whilst still being paid half of her usual wage).Im generally a flexible guy and wouldn't mind if she works or decides to be a stay at home mom,that being said if it happens to be that I'm struggling to make ends meet,I expect her to help out a little.At the end of the day islamically it is obligatory upon me to provide for my wife and my family,whether or not she works is up to her and I prefer what's best for her and ultimately our family.
 

Von

With blood and Iron will we reach the fatherland
It wouldn't come to that since I don't plan on marrying a girl who aims at staying at home all day with no career and isn't on the upper career track. I want a wife who got her own goals and world to focus on. We can have kids but it's going to be the both of us supporting each other, isn't that what marriage is all about, support?
Sidenote: i still haven't met a Somali girl with big dreams and set plan on how to achieve it:mjcry: i cant stand somalis with no big goals and dreams
 

Mercury

Ha igu daalinee dantaada raac
Staff Member
by all means im not broke. I actually make decent money and do well for myself. I'm more concerned about my self at this point in my life; like focusing on my retirement, 401k, expanding my stocks, and traveling around the world.

Remember, women get bored easily. If you're not keeping her entertained or worked, she will cheat. Oh and don't pull the "shes somali and muslim she will not cheat" I know numerous of somali women who cheated on their husbands while he was away at work.
You have a weird view on women She's not a house pet that needs to be entertained caqli ciyaal

:gucciwhat:
 

Mercury

Ha igu daalinee dantaada raac
Staff Member
I wouldn't mind if my wife works it's a plus whatever she makes she can do as she please

I would still work for the family
 
Excellent point. Hence why i encourage her to work. Being a lazy bum (@Aria ) will not help you with your career. If you get divorced, then the husband has the upper hand in the relationship. Thats why most stay at home wifes obey their husbands orders.




What i meant is that im not busting my ass to support someone who wants to retire on me.

@FarahAbdi the kinda nigga to go ask for a girl's hand for marriage with; 'Adeer, I need someone to help me pay my own bills, can I marry your daughter adeer'?

:deadmanny:


Let us know how to that works for you, abowe.
 

Gadiid

So much depends upon a red wheel barrow.
What world do you live in? Where are these immigrants making 6 figures? Very few and far in between.
Right? As if getting 6 figures is an easy task.
"B-b-b-ut they're doing it!? Why can't you?"
Sorry but most aren't so lucky.
 
is it good idea to divorce if wife decides she wants to work and not look after the offspring and maintain the home? if she changes her thinking after a few years and wants western style independence and money, how about the husband who have rights to stable home and being taken cared of, i am speaking to one female about marriage i want to make sure she's mentally fine because changing serious position like this in the future is a mental problem at minimum but can also be kufr.
Why would a female go to
university Only to be a housewife
and ask You for money?

He who holds the purse strings
has The power!

You better find yourself one of
those Weak females who like to
be told What to do and to serve
you!

:mjlol:
 

World

VIP
Why would a female go to
university Only to be a housewife
and ask You for money?

He who holds the purse strings
has The power!

You better find yourself one of
those Weak females who like to
be told What to do and to serve
you!

:mjlol:
So the only purpose of studying is to get plunged into the job market and slave away a 9-5? The entire purpose of seeking knowledge is so you can be reduced into a mere economic unit for some large corporation?
 

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