Dilemma- this is serious 😭

[Miina]

Hello,

Hey everyone, this is my first time posting. I’m not sure if I’m in the right thread, but I need advice on how to move on from this—just the aftermath, I guess.

Since 2021, I’ve been dealing with chronic stomach issues. After a couple of years of going in and out of the hospital, including a choking incident that required an ambulance, we finally figured out it was H. pylori. I also had a lot of throat issues alongside my stomach problems.

I took the antibiotics and felt better, but a few months later, I got really sick and had to take a leave of absence from work. Around that time, my relationship with my childhood friend started to change. Her uncle passed away, and I couldn’t be there for her for the janaza because I was too unwell myself.

I couldn’t go to the janaza, but I called her and sent a message to all three sisters to offer my condolences. Her sister kept telling me to be there for her, that she needed me, but I couldn’t be there because I was sick. I later got admitted to the hospital and was there for eight days due to excessive vomiting and nausea—I couldn’t keep food down or eat.

During this time, I was told that she started talking about me, saying she was done with our friendship because I’m “very selfish” and that she didn’t want to talk to me anymore. I found this extremely upsetting because how could I be selfish when I was seriously ill myself?

On a side note, her brother was subletting my apartment because the rent was cheap. An incident happened with the electricity—I dropped the ball because I was sick and missed two payments, so it got disconnected. While I was working on getting it reconnected, he was impatient and pressured me, even though I had just gotten out of the hospital.

I am not speaking to my sister—I haven’t spoken to her in years. They called my sister to reach me and wanted access to my account, but I said no. I didn’t want to give my personal information to people who don’t like me.

Long story short, my mutual friends all cut me off in addition to this. When he exhibited extremely hostile behavior, I decided to tell him he needed to move out and that I no longer wanted him staying in my apartment—I wanted nothing to do with him.

The hardest part is how they portray me as selfish, and that my other mutual friends don’t want to be friends with me anymore—all while I was seriously sick.

Has something like this ever happened to anyone? How do you overcome it?

 

[Abu Hesi]

this whole thing seems childish unless you are not divulging the whole story.

ok, so you missed the Janaza of their unlce, was their father dead at that time?

 

[Miina]

this whole thing seems childish unless you are not divulging the whole story.

ok, so you missed the Janaza of their unlce, was their father dead at that time?

That’s the crazy part!! It was not her father! Wallahi it’s actually serious and I’m 26 . Idk how to process this… I have no friends. I’m super sad.

 

[dhaxabaay]

the girl was probably group leader cringe as it is to say but thats how friend groups move, if they're cutting you off and painting your character in that way knowing you were ill then they weren't good friends anyway. Most of the time they'll end up coming back to you to reconcile but you have already seen their true colors. The reason why she's painting you out to be selfish is probably deflection on her own part for not being there for you while you were sick and in the hospital. Cut off any loose ends and focus on getting you health back.

 

[Miina]

the girl was probably group leader cringe as it is to say but thats how friend groups move, if they're cutting you off and painting your character in that way knowing you were ill then they weren't good friends anyway. Most of the time they'll end up coming back to you to reconcile but you have already seen their true colors. The reason why she's painting you out to be selfish is probably deflection on her own part for not being there for you while you were sick and in the hospital. Cut off any loose ends and focus on getting you health back.

She was angry that I told her lil brother to move out of the apartment that I was subletting. She kept on saying she forgives me? I didn’t even do anything wrong. Man this whole situation was a trip.

 

[dhaxabaay]

She was angry that I told her lil brother to move out of the apartment that I was subletting. She kept on saying she forgives me? I didn’t even do anything wrong. Man this whole situation was a trip.

Did you apologize? If you didn’t apologize and she’s saying “I forgive you” then she’s trying to make you grovel at her feet it’s good that you stood your ground you have no reason to apologize since you were bedridden in hospice care.

 

[Soul Kaizer]

Hello,

Hey everyone, this is my first time posting. I’m not sure if I’m in the right thread, but I need advice on how to move on from this—just the aftermath, I guess.

Since 2021, I’ve been dealing with chronic stomach issues. After a couple of years of going in and out of the hospital, including a choking incident that required an ambulance, we finally figured out it was H. pylori. I also had a lot of throat issues alongside my stomach problems.

I took the antibiotics and felt better, but a few months later, I got really sick and had to take a leave of absence from work. Around that time, my relationship with my childhood friend started to change. Her uncle passed away, and I couldn’t be there for her for the janaza because I was too unwell myself.

I couldn’t go to the janaza, but I called her and sent a message to all three sisters to offer my condolences. Her sister kept telling me to be there for her, that she needed me, but I couldn’t be there because I was sick. I later got admitted to the hospital and was there for eight days due to excessive vomiting and nausea—I couldn’t keep food down or eat.

During this time, I was told that she started talking about me, saying she was done with our friendship because I’m “very selfish” and that she didn’t want to talk to me anymore. I found this extremely upsetting because how could I be selfish when I was seriously ill myself?

On a side note, her brother was subletting my apartment because the rent was cheap. An incident happened with the electricity—I dropped the ball because I was sick and missed two payments, so it got disconnected. While I was working on getting it reconnected, he was impatient and pressured me, even though I had just gotten out of the hospital.

I am not speaking to my sister—I haven’t spoken to her in years. They called my sister to reach me and wanted access to my account, but I said no. I didn’t want to give my personal information to people who don’t like me.

Long story short, my mutual friends all cut me off in addition to this. When he exhibited extremely hostile behavior, I decided to tell him he needed to move out and that I no longer wanted him staying in my apartment—I wanted nothing to do with him.

The hardest part is how they portray me as selfish, and that my other mutual friends don’t want to be friends with me anymore—all while I was seriously sick.

Has something like this ever happened to anyone? How do you overcome it?

To be fair I don’t think they ever saw you as a friend. A friend you see them in some what equal to yourself. They saw you more as an emotional support toy. Whenever you couldn’t provide your “use” the whole dynamic changed. Instead of realising you are a whole human being who has their own struggles and shortcomings and you can’t be there all the time.

It’s a good lesson to learn sooner than later.

 

[Miina]

Did you apologize? If you didn’t apologize and she’s saying “I forgive you” then she’s trying to make you grovel at her feet it’s good that you stood your ground you have no reason to apologize since you were bedridden in hospice care.

I didn’t apologize to her but she kept on telling my mutuals that she forgave me. I was soo confused when she said that because what did I do?

 

[Sophisticate]

Sorry to hear about that.

You reached out to your friend and clearly offered condolences, but unfortunately, you were unable to attend due to illness. That should be enough. You cannot do anything about her response. Merely keep your distance and prioritize your physical and mental health.

 

[New World]

Hello,

Hey everyone, this is my first time posting. I’m not sure if I’m in the right thread, but I need advice on how to move on from this—just the aftermath, I guess.

Since 2021, I’ve been dealing with chronic stomach issues. After a couple of years of going in and out of the hospital, including a choking incident that required an ambulance, we finally figured out it was H. pylori. I also had a lot of throat issues alongside my stomach problems.

I took the antibiotics and felt better, but a few months later, I got really sick and had to take a leave of absence from work. Around that time, my relationship with my childhood friend started to change. Her uncle passed away, and I couldn’t be there for her for the janaza because I was too unwell myself.

I couldn’t go to the janaza, but I called her and sent a message to all three sisters to offer my condolences. Her sister kept telling me to be there for her, that she needed me, but I couldn’t be there because I was sick. I later got admitted to the hospital and was there for eight days due to excessive vomiting and nausea—I couldn’t keep food down or eat.

During this time, I was told that she started talking about me, saying she was done with our friendship because I’m “very selfish” and that she didn’t want to talk to me anymore. I found this extremely upsetting because how could I be selfish when I was seriously ill myself?

On a side note, her brother was subletting my apartment because the rent was cheap. An incident happened with the electricity—I dropped the ball because I was sick and missed two payments, so it got disconnected. While I was working on getting it reconnected, he was impatient and pressured me, even though I had just gotten out of the hospital.

I am not speaking to my sister—I haven’t spoken to her in years. They called my sister to reach me and wanted access to my account, but I said no. I didn’t want to give my personal information to people who don’t like me.

Long story short, my mutual friends all cut me off in addition to this. When he exhibited extremely hostile behavior, I decided to tell him he needed to move out and that I no longer wanted him staying in my apartment—I wanted nothing to do with him.

The hardest part is how they portray me as selfish, and that my other mutual friends don’t want to be friends with me anymore—all while I was seriously sick.

Has something like this ever happened to anyone? How do you overcome it?

In 2019, I was diagnosed with H. pylori. I had made smash burgers at home, and I wasn't sure if I had cooked them thoroughly or if the meat was spoiled. I experienced very painful stomach issues, gas, and a burning sensation most of the time, which made sleeping difficult. I went to the doctor and the ER three times before they requested a stool sample. They found H. pylori and prescribed antibiotics to eliminate the infection. My symptoms improved, but then, for some reason, it came back. I returned for another test, but they couldn't find the bacteria, even though I still had stomach issues.

After 1 to 2 years, the symptoms completely disappeared.

 

[Ghengis Kaarhis]

You've lost nothing of value tbh. Leave them behind.