But the issue is that the father has to rely on female family members to take care of the kids. Very rarely is the father doing the hands on everyday caring that a child loses out on when it comes to the mother. What happens when the child is under 5 and needs a mothers/female nurturing like breastfeeding and the like?
Can the mother loose custody of child after Remarriage?
- Thread starter Yaraye
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I’m saying this because according to Madhabs when the mother loses the right, it goes to grandmother and not the father. You’re Hanafi right? Its maternal grandmother and then paternal grandmother and then father. Kids need a female nurturing them.
To the OP, yes the woman upon remarriage can lose the child. However according to
The vast majority of scholars, the child goes to the maternal grandmother and then the paternal grandmother, unmarried sisters ect and then the father. Ibn Taymiyya on the other hand believed the father gets the child after the mother.
The vast majority of scholars, the child goes to the maternal grandmother and then the paternal grandmother, unmarried sisters ect and then the father. Ibn Taymiyya on the other hand believed the father gets the child after the mother.
Bundasliga
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All that is solved by the mother not remarrying. Her focus should be with the child solely.
Easier said that than done although I agree. But it’s hard to expect one party to be able to move on and have more kids and a partner and one party struggles. If a woman gets divorced in her early 20s and only has one child, it’s a big ask to expect her to be single. You wouldn’t fathom the idea of man being single the whole time.
Btw not all stepfathers are bad. Many have had stepfathers that actually cared and provided for them. I think the best bet is joint custody from the get go between the ex husband and wife but a lot of people don’t have that maturity. Also, remarrying when the kids are at least 7 so they can stay with dad for bit whilst mum gets to know the new husband for a bit.
Odious Delirium
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I'm shaffi never said I was hanafi
Yaraye
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I see where many points are coming from. Especially the step dad molesting and step mom abusing. I don't trust anyone else raising my kids, and I for sure don't trust any male around my kids. I just didn't know that a woman can loose the rights islamically. I was supried to find that out. I always wondered why my mother waited for so long to get remarried. She waited a decade for remarriage ( until we were in our teens) and then got remarried another 3 times 
Odious Delirium
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It depends on the age of the child which I kind of stated in my first comment. If the child is of an age where it requires breastfeeding and in general the early development years as an infant/toddler then yes that is the case the child need to go to someone who can replace the mother which the father can not do but after the child has grown a bit then the father has custody until the child is grown enough so I would say past the age of discernment/maturity basically a teenager where they can decide for themselves.
For the most part people other then grandparents will have there own lives to live and can't deal with kids especially kids that aren't there own when the parents are still alive. It's not like back in the days where an unmarried sister could afford to take care in such a scenario now she is studying or working and with grandparents it's a hit or miss they could be dead, they could be in a different country etc. So it always end up in most case coming back to the father
Yaraye
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Not all. I remember when my mother got remarried. She took steps to make sure that we (my sisters and I) were never alone with any of our step fathers EVER. Sure she trusted him and married him, but no one really knows a person's intentions. Many women are wary of the men that aren't their bio father to their children and their children being alone together. They don't want their children to be abused. It usually the fathers who remarry a step mother that don't pay close attention to what's going on in the house.
Odious Delirium
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That's statistically incorrect women are often enablers of abuse in such relationships. There is a reason why custody should be taken away from a woman who remarries because in general men are more likely to abuse and men do pay attention to the women they remarry to it's just that there is less fears and there is a reason women fear this for there children because its common for men non related men to turn out to be predators.
Women are practically non issues in comparsion to men when it comes to rape
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She should be happy that the men wants even custody . Many men are deadbeat and don't want anything to do with the children.
I know not all step fathers are bad ,but why should he take the fathers responsibility?
Many men don't want their kids be raised by a stranger & many men don't want to raise a strangers child.
Either way it's very unlikely that the children go to the father in those scenarios these days anyway .
Somalis dont do that. They refer to their step parents as “uncle/aunt”.
edit; this nigga is mad that I stated a fact
I’m not sure why you’re under the impression that women love step children more than men. In Somali tradition, step moms are neglectful of their stepchildren and there’s always drama. Honestly, as a Somali it’s best to marry a fellow single parent if you want remarriage.
I agree with you, but I will dislike your comment cause you gave me so many qashin
I dont know what y’all’s opinions are but the thought of someone other than me and the childs father raising my children pisses me off. I don’t even like the idea of a nanny, I’d only have a part time nanny if I had more than 2/3 kids.
I’d have to get sole custody if my ex-husband remarries. I would go insane if another women tried to “mother” the child I gave birth to. I don’t know how these westerners do co-parenting with step parents involved.
Me in the courtroom if I lose the custody battle:
I’d have to get sole custody if my ex-husband remarries. I would go insane if another women tried to “mother” the child I gave birth to. I don’t know how these westerners do co-parenting with step parents involved.
Me in the courtroom if I lose the custody battle:
you expect a mother to be happy that her child is taken from her? Are you on crack. You’re advocating for sole custody to be awarded to the father. That means the mother doesn’t have a right to the child they gave birth to.
Show me statistics that suggest women are ‘enablers’. Men enable/ choose step
Mothers more as they literally abandon their fam/children for other women. The reason why step mother abuse isn’t as documented is because kids usually stay with their mother than father and deal less with a stepmother. In traditional Somali dhaqan that isn’t the case so we when a whole saying and literature on the cruelty of stepmothers.
Also men don’t pay attention enough because in a lot of cases men aren’t as attached to their children and remarry to create a new fam whilst the ex is the one that looks after the kids.
Yes, you’re right that men are a lot more predatory. Glad we’re admitting that.
R word yes, it’s mostly men. But women can inflict nearly just as much physical and emotional violence. A lot of stepmothers inflict emotional and physical violence on kids and get away with it more. A major one in fact. The thing is a step mother, spends more time with the kids than a step father. If the father has custody, she’s expected to mother and nurture and men tend to be out of the house and more oblivious than women.
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