Arranged marriage & honor killing

[Foreman]

Last year my dad tried an arranged marriage between me and my second cousin. Glad it fell apart, lol.

I'm in a similar predicament.

 

[The Cushitic One]

I'm in a similar predicament.

Are you now?

 

[ArchBishopofAtheism]

The family lived in rural Kenya (west of garissa) and my dad went to visit them. When he got there and brought the idea up to her, she was very nervous about it, which is understandable.

Her mom wanted me to ignore her concerns and just get on with it but I used that as a reason to get out of it.

 

[Foreman]

No Cousins are seen as walaalo in Somalia, Why would it be ok for them to get married?

I agree. But that's how it works back home. Marrying your ina abti from a different clan is even encouraged to preserve wealth within family which is self contradicting because your marrying from another clan.

 

[Benjamin]

Any ideas why it fell apart?

I think my family is planning same, second cousin as well

inbreeding is bad, you may have retarded children

 

[Malcolm X]

inbreeding is bad, you may have retarded children

Not at all, science says it's rare to have children with deformities, even with first cousins.

Genetic problems only happens after 3 or so generations of successive cousin marriages.

 

[ArchBishopofAtheism]

I'm in a similar predicament.

Be up front and say you want to focus on school. My mistake was that I was vague and ambiguous in the beginning.

 

[Benjamin]

The family lived in rural Kenya (west of garissa) and my dad went to visit them. When he got there and brought the idea up to her, she was very nervous about it, which is understandable.

Her mom wanted me to ignore her concerns and just get on with it but I used that as a reason to get out of it.

So you were all Ok with it, but she somehow refused?

 

[ArchBishopofAtheism]

Not at all, science says it's rare to have children with deformities, even with first cousins.

Genetic problems only happens after 3 or so generations of successive cousin marriages.

And what tells you this won't happen? Have you seen Pakistanis?

 

[Foreman]

Are you now?

Question never came bluntly it went on like " hebel hebel married his cousin what do u think of it" and sort of gestures.

I read between the lines

 

[ArchBishopofAtheism]

So you were all Ok with it, but she somehow refused?

I didn't take the whole thing seriously until my dad went to Kenya. I used the fact that she was nervous as an excuse to get out of it.

 

[Benjamin]

Not at all, science says it's rare to have children with deformities, even with first cousins.

Genetic problems only happens after 3 or so generations of successive cousin marriages.

It may not happen, but percentage is still high. Stay away from your cousins.

 

[Malcolm X]

And what tells you this won't happen? Have you seen Pakistanis?

You can't argue with science - they say it becomes a problem if it happens repeatedly.

Pakistanis' culture is marriage within family to preserve the honour and wealth. Multi-generation cousin marriages are not uncommon.

Somalis don't marry cousins that often. It's absolutely not an issue.

 

[Malcolm X]

It may not happen, but percentage is high. Stay away from your cousins.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/s...s-getting-married-scientists-say-1210072.html

 

[Garaad Darawiish]

You can't argue with science - they say it becomes a problem if it happens repeatedly.

Pakistanis' culture is marriage within family to preserve the honour and wealth. Multi-generation cousin marriages are not uncommon.

Somalis don't marry cousins that often. It's absolutely not an issue.

It may not always lead to complications or disabilities, but it doubles the chances (and this has been proven). Just like going for a cousin is better than hooking up with a sibling, getting it on with a non-relative is exponentially healthier than with a cousin. Regardless of what the culture thinks of it, the product of such a union is still inbred. Since you brought culture up, I thought Somalis had close extended families. In a close extended family, wouldn't a cousin feel more like a relative than somebody you'd potentially have sex with? I can't get my head around that. The children of siblings. Having sex.

PS. The earliest humans were getting freaky with whomever of the opposite sex was geographically closest, without a care for who they were. I can't see how that would, let alone should, be a measure of the reproductive proprieties. But alright

 

[The Cushitic One]

I didn't take the whole thing seriously until my dad went to Kenya. I used the fact that she was nervous as an excuse to get out of it.

Why couldn't you just tell your father,
You weren't interested?

 

[ArchBishopofAtheism]

I was a little conflicted on the issue in the beginning. I wasn't sure I was against it. Only when things got heated did I realize what I was getting myself into.

 

[Gambar]

But that's not how we do arranged marriages dee
Cousin marriage is seen as ceeb(atleast were i'm from) and it rarely happens.

Usually habra wadaag/ilma habreed is seen as ceeb. Not the fathers side.

 

[Asma]

You can't argue with science - they say it becomes a problem if it happens repeatedly.

Pakistanis' culture is marriage within family to preserve the honour and wealth. Multi-generation cousin marriages are not uncommon.

Somalis don't marry cousins that often. It's absolutely not an issue.

We already have lots of issues in Somalia, without adding the problem of retarded offspring from cousin marriages.

So no to dumbing down the nation.

 

[Malcolm X]

It may not always lead to complications or disabilities, but it doubles the chances (and this has been proven). Just like going for a cousin is better than hooking up with a sibling, getting it on with a non-relative is exponentially healthier than with a cousin. Regardless of what the culture thinks of it, the product of such a union is still inbred. Since you brought culture up, I thought Somalis had close extended families. In a close extended family, wouldn't a cousin feel more like a relative than somebody you'd potentially have sex with? I can't get my head around that. The children of siblings. Having sex.

PS. The earliest humans were getting freaky with whomever of the opposite sex was geographically closest, without a care for who they were. I can't see how that would, let alone should, be a measure of the reproductive proprieties. But alright

For first time cousin marriage, the risk is very low. I've given you the receipt. Where's yours?

I only found one study that says the chances of birth defects is doubled with cousin marriage. Guess what that study is about? Study on Pakistani marriages. It's literally part of their culture to marry cousins. Whatever person they did a study on, their parents are probably cousins.

That study is worthless for us Somalis.

Yes, we have close extended family but we're still Muslims. We don't interact with opposite genders of our extended family much. Unlike Pakistanis who do relative visits almost daily and they still do cousin marriages. They don't often respect the non-mahram rule