Arranged marriage & honor killing

[Benjamin]

I know that other immigrant communities have this problem, but I'm not sure if we have it.

Do we have this problem?

Would you accept arranged marriage?

I personally never heard about this problem in our community.

 

[Malcolm X]

Honor killing - no.

Arranged marriage - sort of

I know a few who couldn't marry, they asked their parents for a help. It is rare though

Desi parents automatically search when their kid gets old enough

 

[Canuck]

Somalis don't practice honor killing, in fact honor killing for us is killing the man that allures the girl not the girl.

 

[Xooshdheere]

takbeer

 

[Garaad Darawiish]

First and foremost, arranged marriages are common in many societies; some of it has to do with preserving "honour" and could result in henious crimes; such as honour killings ( I call it dishonour killings). That is common in the middle east and east asia.

In our culture so called honour killings is unheard of.

In the somali culture arranged marriages are conducted in the countryside and uncommon in towns. In the old days, a girl who said no to an arrange marriage was refered to as "Geesxir". In most cases there were some advantages. There is always a way out (most parents will cancel the arrange marriage if the daughter says no).

At the heart of arrange marriages are economic dependency. Once women are emancipated through work/property then it will disappear.


There is a difference between arranged and forced marriages

 

[Benjamin]

Somalis don't practice honor killing, in fact honor killing for us is killing the man that allures the girl not the girl.

So only the man get persecuted for secret marriage?

 

[Zuleikha]

There is nothing wrong with arrange marriage unless it's forced.

 

[Jeesto]

Honor killing - We don't have that, thank god
Arranged marriage - Sort of but it's not very common. In our culture the guy/girl can ask the parents for help if they have hard time finding a partner and can always say no to the marriage unlike ME & South Asian cultures.

 

[maestro]

Honor killings are disgusting glad we don't have them. How can you kill your own daughter or son wtf! Only fucked up people with shit culture practice that bullshit.

Only way I'm gonna think of killing my child is extreme cases like if they betray me and murder the rest of the family in cold blood. Or if they become Hitler and genocide millions of innocent people.

 

[Malcolm X]

So only the man get persecuted for secret marriage?

Most desis murder the woman in a honor killing

 

[Benjamin]

Most desis murder the woman in a honor killing

That's their culture, disgusting tho.

 

[Foreman]

Somalis don't practice honor killing, we're no Arabs, where did u get that from

Arranged marriage is NOT forced and usually set up to marry off cousins or closely related families.

 

[Benjamin]

Somalis don't practice honor killing, we're no Arabs, where did u get that from

Arranged marriage is NOT forced and usually set up to marry off cousins or closely related families.

I was just reading an article about that, then I got curious if we had that problem.

 

[ArchBishopofAtheism]

Last year my dad tried an arranged marriage between me and my second cousin. Glad it fell apart, lol.

 

[Jeesto]

Somalis don't practice honor killing, we're no Arabs, where did u get that from

Arranged marriage is NOT forced and usually set up to marry off cousins or closely related families.

But that's not how we do arranged marriages dee
Cousin marriage is seen as ceeb(atleast were i'm from) and it rarely happens.

 

[Malcolm X]

Last year my dad tried an arranged marriage between me and my second cousin. Glad it fell apart, lol.

Any ideas why it fell apart?

I think my family is planning same, second cousin as well

 

[Foreman]

@Jeesto its ceeb to marry your inadeer but marrying ina abti is OK,

 

[Benjamin]

Last year my dad tried an arranged marriage between me and my second cousin. Glad it fell apart, lol.

Your cousin that's disgusting , by the way would you marry an atheist like you or a Muslim?

 

[Canuck]

So only the man get persecuted for secret marriage?

I am not talking about marriage but the stories that I heard from my relatives. males of the girl victim (her cousins) will take revenge for her either by killing the guy or beating him. For example one time 4 tribal cousins had beat out guy Who send love letter to girl. Mind you they that they all were under 18. The girl had to stop going school and her family had married her off (it was scandalous behaviour ).
Other story, I heard it from my mum, per war in Somalia. This female employee wanted to take sick leave for couple of weeks, since she didn't know the procedures, her boss asked to pick the approval letter from his home and he raped her. Two of her cousins shot him.

 

[Someone]

@Jeesto its ceeb to marry your inadeer but marrying ina abti is OK,

No Cousins are seen as walaalo in Somalia, Why would it be ok for them to get married?