Am I Not God's Imperfect Creation?????? Poem By Basra

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Basra

LOVE is a product of Doqoniimo mixed with lust
Let Them Eat Cake
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Cant deny it was weirdly good though


Of course it was weird good. I wrote in spar of frustration & honesty! It has to be Good. And besides u cant loose with God? The buck ends with God! AM glad u r forcefully moved Viva! loooool u crack me up
 

Basra

LOVE is a product of Doqoniimo mixed with lust
Let Them Eat Cake
VIP
I did read it. This may sound mean, but you have a lot of room for improvement. Your poem is a mess :kanyeshrug:


It is not mean at ALL ! LOOOOOOOOOOOOL


I appreciate your feedback! I take it with a grain of salt, given that I know u to be agnostic! Maybe the God part of the poem irritates u?
 

Emily

🥰🥰🥰
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sarcastic-clapping-jon-stewart.gif
 
It is not mean at ALL ! LOOOOOOOOOOOOL


I appreciate your feedback! I take it with a grain of salt, given that I know u to be agnostic! Maybe the God part of the poem irritates u?
I'm not agnostic and I believe in Allah. Just because I am uncomfortable with some of his laws doesn't mean I don't believe in him. And no, that's not what bothers me about your poem. It's the million question marks, capital letters, bad wording, bad style, no imagery, no metaphors, etc. It reads like what a 5th grader would write. You can do better sister, if you would like I can give you some resources that will help you improve
 

Basra

LOVE is a product of Doqoniimo mixed with lust
Let Them Eat Cake
VIP


u r so adorable Emily! I must confess dear, since I posted u about the photos of the somali girl with a "Cleavage" every time I see u, I get a tingle of ---Oh there is Emily! I cant disconnect u from that photo??? Sorry for this weird confession! I Am sure Crow and Cumar agree with me!
 

Basra

LOVE is a product of Doqoniimo mixed with lust
Let Them Eat Cake
VIP
I'm not agnostic and I believe in Allah. Just because I am uncomfortable with some of his laws doesn't mean I don't believe in him. And no, that's not what bothers me about your poem. It's the million question marks, capital letters, bad wording, bad style, no imagery, no metaphors, etc. It reads like what a 5th grader would write. You can do better sister, if you would like I can give you some resources that will help you improve


No THANK YOU!

I Reject your Silence,
I Reject your Suppression,
We may disagree, or of variant mess,
Still, I ask to be unique,
and Not conform, or Confirm to your whims and desires,
I respectfully decline your influence,
I bow my gown to you in reverence,
Still, let me be-my own unique FREE SPIRIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
No THANK YOU!

I Reject your Silence,
I Reject your Suppression,
We may disagree, or of variant mess,
Still, I ask to be unique,
and Not conform, or Confirm to your whims and desires,
I respectfully decline your influence,
I bow my gown to you in reverence,
Still, let me be-my own unique FREE SPIRIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you won't accept constructive criticism then you will never improve, sadly. :kanyeshrug:
 

Emily

🥰🥰🥰
VIP
u r so adorable Emily! I must confess dear, since I posted u about the photos of the somali girl with a "Cleavage" every time I see u, I get a tingle of ---Oh there is Emily! I cant disconnect u from that photo??? Sorry for this weird confession! I Am sure Crow and Cumar agree with me!
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Basra

LOVE is a product of Doqoniimo mixed with lust
Let Them Eat Cake
VIP
AM I NOT GOD'S IMPERFECT CREATION????????????????????????????????????????
I ask thee, my fellow human creation?
Am I worthy to be spared of ALL your eyes,
Your belittling sneering, Your generous comments,,
Your Judgements, and Your shrugging, rolling eyes,
Is it not enough that I am a Pacifist?
Glory in my battle with YOU keyboard Jihadist?
Even though I am a sinner?
Even though I am vain, drained of quite, good morals?
AM I not decent, smiling, kind, abiding to my disposition,
Residing within the limits of my nature.
My ultimate, rude awakening downfall.
I am not PERFECT. I am just HUMAN.
Can you hear me dear MAN?
I may be vain, shallow, empty, sad or inappropriate.
Still, I deserve your kindness. I deserve R.E. S.P.E.C.T!!!
My unkind thoughts in my head they mumble & rumble,
Worrying, and thinking of what you think of me,
Saddened by strangers empty unshared opinions,
Can you hear me?
ALL YOU, mankind, womankind, ALL Somali- kinds,
I may be vile inside, and immaculately pretty outside,
But still, I appeal to your better nature,
END IT NOW. I NEED CLOSURE.
AM I not redeemable & ONLY answerable to my God?
My ONE lord, & my SUPREME maker?
Please.!! I stand before you, naked & approachable.
Composed, and reposed; in ALL my imperfections,
Vulnerable, prostrating, & appealing to my Creator,
AM I NOT GOD'S IMPERFECT CREATION?
Worthy to be forgiven, loved, loving, even Triumphant?
Is it too much to ask: leave ALL snarky pontifications to my maker?
The rightful owner of my faithful slavery?
The inspirer through mercy of my bravery?
Have I changed your mind, if but little
When ALL my defeats & Failures are sparkling brittle,
But still, I ask thee, to leave me be, & let me be,
In the grace of my maker,
For truth be …...
AM I NOT GODS IMPERFECT CREATION???????????????????????????????????????


AM I NOT WORTHY OF YOUR AFFECTIONS????
even though i despise YOU, and your own way of inaction's,
Is it shocking for me to bear my soul to YOU,
willingly, gladly, silently, without complications?
without explanations, elucidations, instigations...
I don't NEED YOU,
Am I HEARD?
I HATE YOU.
I long for that solitude moments when you are away,
and let me be in my way,
Yes, i may be heartless, even soul-less if you are disposed to ill nature,
For i assure you I AM NOT SOUL-LESS.
My kindness & Decency grooves it!
Still you will not find me in torture,
MISSING YOU, LOVING YOU,
Wait. i am sorry, i may miss you, just a little,
Not like sleepless in Seattle,
Just a little to show you i am ALIVE,
I used to be Suicidal, now i am Godly,
Ameen!
I AM OK.
For i am FREE, not of man but of SPIRIT!
I declare that with open Bosom, UPRIGHT!
ALL SOLEMNLY serene in my choice of misogyny,
Utter bliss. Utter Glitter!
Can you feel my JOY LEAP from MY sparkling dark eyes?
My speech stuttering with a heavy Somali or Africa accent?
As i day dream of chasing a camel up a green hill,
The Sun as Bright as Yellow Sun Flower,
In my mind, a soft, posh, British aristocratic ascent?
Simmering in the unknown, Not Higher nor Lower,
Alas.....I digress.....i want to thank you for YOUR understanding,
For My sorrowful, lone plight into quite infamy,
Not a rose like princess Diana, but a SIGHT like Brown chocolate Somalian,
Decor In a Bright Yellow Dutch Tulip Flower,
Hhhmmmm Can YOU SMELL it?
Symbolizing my deflowering state of slow growing Happiness,
Like the green hill i just mentioned, YOU know, that yellow beautiful Camel?
Following my running foot, the Sky as sweet as Caramel,
Emerging from a dark hole feet, of former sadness,
Still, despite confessing ALL this upsetting Soliloquy,
I OWN, and I rise within MY OWN POWER!!!!!!!!
My own footing of grace, and goodwill, High above the Tower,
Unapologetic of my frankness nor my Pollyanna outburst,
But still i shy NOT to ask.......
AM I NOT WORTHY OF YOUR AFFECTIONS????
 
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